This final Morshower article deals with the third question I asked Glenn –
What is the most powerful experience you have had with your children?
Glen – The years that my children were teens were really powerful, helping them with first loves and breakups. My children felt at ease with their parents and we would take cheerful walks and talk.
In our family we had a motto of sorts – you can share everything that you are comfortable sharing (which is to say, that you don’t have to share anything you don’t want to). The door was wide open no matter what it was they felt, said or did.
We created a safe place to fall. We were a safety net for our children and they used that net lots of times. Our children knew “You are gonna be loved here!”
Mary Ann – After Glen shared this with me he said, “I am going to tell you something I have never told anyone else. I have never said this in an interview before. This is about my greatest pain and the Team Kiss”. What he shared was so beautiful and I feel privileged to share it with you.
Glen – I felt that this idea was a whisper from God, the Team Kiss. My children are grown and we still do the Team Kiss. Let me tell you the history of how it came to be.
My mom and dad divorced when I was three. My mother remarried when I was six and my stepfather wanted to control everything, including my relationships. He was determined to break me through physical abuse. That was hard but not my greatest pain.
I felt even more pain in knowing that I had never seen my birth parents together being kind to each other. I only saw them together in the same room three times in my life after age 3, at the funeral of a grandparent, my wedding, and my brother’s wedding. Then they would stand 30 feet apart. I could be with one but not both, even in the same room. It was painful.
But even that wasn’t my greatest pain. My stepfather was determined that I would never be allowed to see my father. I had absolutely no access to my dad. I knew he loved me and I loved him but I was forbidden to see him until after I turned eighteen and that was enforced by physical means.
Early on I had a wonderful fantasy that when my stepfather died I would have the experience, for the first time, of sitting at a simple dinner with both of my parents and my brother, the original nucleus, telling the three of them that I loved them. I had no delusions about them ever getting back together. I knew that wasn’t going to happen. I just wanted the two people who created me to be kind to each other.
In later years my mother and father began to be civil to each other, they began to heal. However, my stepfather was a wedge in healing that relationship. My stepfather died in May of 2005 but just a short time before that my real dad died. I never got to have my fantasy fulfilled.
However, it was this fantasy and that whisper from God that created the Team Kiss.
Here’s how it works. Both parents kiss a cheek of their child at the same time. It’s a double kiss. To this day it is my children’s favorite kiss.
The Team Kiss is a reassurance. The two people who love you and made you have their lips on your cheeks at the same time. A child can breathe in both parents simultaneously. No matter what is happening out there in the world they are reassured that these two people love them.
Mary Ann – I hope you have enjoyed Glen’s words and wisdom as much as I have. I loved talking to him.
Let’s remember the most important things Glenn has shared.
• Everyone who crosses your path is there to help you
• Give your children unconditional and powerful love and affection
• Be gentle
• Listen to your children
• Give children the freedom to learn and love them through the process
• Don’t try to control the outcome
• This is a choice/consequence world
• And most importantly “Do unto others as you would have the world do unto you!”
Thank you Glenn Morshower for your honest and heartfelt words of wisdom!
Glenn Morshower is regarded as one of the busiest character actors in Hollywood. Best known for his role as Aaron Pierce on the FOX hit series 24, Glenn has a hugely successful acting career spanning 35 years. He and his high school sweetheart Carolyn married in 1978 and have two grown children.
“The Extra Mile” is a series of performances which are written and performed by Glenn Morshower. The program is a combination of motivational speaking, storytelling, dramatic and comedic performance, acting instruction, and life coaching. Thousands, including a good number of celebrities, have attended these events across the US. You can learn more about it here.