Intriguing title isn’t it.

I read an article comparing play-based curriculum with skill-based curriculum but what I found interesting were the points it made about the value of play for all children and the benefits of play-based curriculum, for those children who are in the public school realm.

In the world of education, there seems to be a bit of controversy about letting children play, when, where, how much, and with what. I think that is partly due to the end-driven results that we adults seek. We let our children play but what is the end result, what is the purpose. No willy-nilly free play for our children. And for goodness sake don’t play too long or too loud or too messy or too…

Coming from a far different era I am often amazed at this thinking. I cannot tell you all the days that I spent aimlessly playing, by myself, or with a gaggle of friends of mixed ages. No one ever thought a thing about it.

I wrote an article about the power of play in helping a child build complex, skilled, responsive, socially adept, and cognitively flexible brains. I loved this quote. “For most of human history, children played by roaming near or far in packs, large and small. Younger children were supervised by older children and engaged in freewheeling imaginative play. They were pirates and princesses, aristocrats, and heroes. But, while all that play might have looked a lot like time spent doing nothing much at all, it actually helped build a critical cognitive skill called executive function.” That describes my era perfectly and the value we gained from this freewheeling play.

Let me share some of the insights from the article with you because I think you will find them interesting too. I hope they get you thinking about your children’s need to play, in order to learn important skills.

“Every day where we work, we see our young students struggling with the transition from home to school. They’re all wonderful kids, but some can’t share easily or listen in a group. Some have impulse control problems and have trouble keeping their hands to themselves; others don’t always see that actions have consequences; a few suffer terribly from separation anxiety. We’re not talking about preschool children. These are Harvard undergraduate students whom we teach and advise. They all know how to work, but some of them haven’t learned how to play.”

“If you want your child to succeed in college, then play-based curriculum is the way to go. Why do this? One of the best predictors of school success is the ability to control impulses.” (Isn’t that exactly what I said in my article on executive function?)

“The beauty of a play-based curriculum is that very young children can routinely observe and learn from others’ emotions and experiences. One randomized, controlled trial had 4- and 5-year-olds engage in make-believe play with adults and found substantial and durable gains in the ability of children to show self-control and to delay gratification. Countless other studies support the association between dramatic play and self-regulation.” (I might mention here that in my opinion, child-initiated play without adults would cause even more substantial gains than adult-directed play!)

“Through play, children learn to take turns, delay gratification, negotiate conflicts, solve problems, share goals, acquire flexibility, and live with disappointment.”

“As admissions officers at selective colleges like to say, an entire freshman class could be filled with students with perfect grades and test scores. But academic achievement in college requires readiness skills that transcend mere book learning. It requires the ability to engage actively with people and ideas. In short, it requires a deep connection with the world.” (I say, they know how to think!)

“For a five-year-old, this connection begins and ends with the creating, questioning, imitating, dreaming, and sharing that characterize play. When we deny young children play, we are denying them the right to understand the world. By the time they get to college, we will have denied them the opportunity to fix the world too.”

So, when you are considering how to let your children spend their time, think deeply about play. Think about what toys and materials accentuate play. Observe your children when they play. Consider the effects of video and television on play. Make time for plenty of play. Ask for spiritual guidance as you make your decisions about play. For me, reading this article on the importance of play reaffirmed what I knew as a child.

It seems that play is the stuff effective adults are made of!

Is It Possible To Raise spiritually Resilient Teens?

As a mother of seven, I have experienced the struggles of raising teens. As a mentor to hundreds of parents, I know that this challenge is not unique. It can be even more intimidating to contemplate raising spiritually resilient teens in this chaotic and confusing world.

So, I am delighted to introduce you to a new book by Sharla Goettl, Spiritual Resilience: Leading our Youth to Go and Do. It is an excellent resource for any parent who is also a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints ~ or who lives a Christ-centered life.

As many of my readers know, our family’s journey was not always easy. So, I resonated with this statement by Sharla found early on in the book – “Every member of Nephi’s family reached the promised land despite grave challenges and faithless missteps. That fact alone should bring us some hope, peace, and reassurance. Each of them certainly made mistakes, some very serious, yet still reached the promised land through repentance, forgiveness, and repeated efforts to be humble. It was a long process—a journey. (p. 9)

This quote came from the chapter on parental success. This chapter is a must-read for any parent who feels like a failure because not all their family members are spiritually in the same place. It puts a new perspective on parenting success. All those challenging years ago, this would have helped me.

I can’t count the number of times I have assured my readers that there is hope despite a sometimes rocky parenting path. Sharla’s book is filled with information and stories to give parents hope that they can raise spiritually resilient children if they stay the course, despite the challenges.

Yes, You Can Find Time For This Book – Such An Easy Read!

And for all you busy moms and dads, this will hearten you – Sharla’s book is easy to read and well constructed. I loved the chapter summaries at the beginning of the book, which help determine which sections are most applicable to your family right now.

Each summary consists of a few straightforward questions covered in that chapter. For example, Chapter one –
• How can I spiritually prepare for a future I can’t predict?
• How did Nephi’s parents support him in becoming what the Lord needed?

And I loved those found in Chapter 8 –
• What is it you want the very most?
• Do you know a better way to get it than through Christ?

The end of each chapter has its own summary and an area for notetaking. There is a quote before the note-taking section, which helps stimulate thoughts and impressions on moving forward. Experience has taught me that narrowing your plan of action down to a few simple, clear steps is vital to success when doing something new. This end-of-chapter summary helps the reader do just that.

I would encourage everyone wanting a more robust and better relationship with their children and their Savior to read this book and apply the principal’s inside.

Meet Sharla and hear her story:

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information with a friend!

A little over two years ago something happened
in Don’s back and hips. He found himself in significant nerve pain which caused every movement to be excruciating. He tried physical therapy, dry needling, and other things. Eventually, he found himself on some serious medication. But none of these things resolved the problem.

Finally, we discovered that he has a couple of discs in his back that are in big trouble. We talked to a few doctors and then scheduled surgery for last summer. Just weeks before the big day we found out that what was going to be done was more than was needed. With some changes in weight and lifestyle, the surgery could be far less invasive, would last longer, and the recovery would be far easier. In fact, there is even a slight chance surgery can be avoided altogether. At 71 you want to do what is going to work the best.

It hasn’t been easy. Don has other serious health issues and uses medication that makes weight loss difficult. His back and hip make exercising a challenge. He has been experimenting for months and finally came up with a way to move forward that he felt he could do consistently. He turned Jodie’s home into the mall.

Every morning after the kids go to school and Jodie and Doug are at work he goes into their part of the house, which is much larger than ours, and walks. He made five rounds each day. Then it increased to 10. This week Don upped the ante to 12 rounds. We are excited about that. His plan is to eventually be able to do the 12 rounds twice a day. Then more rounds and eventually outdoors.

How Success in Big Things is Accomplished

It may not seem like a lot, but believe me, it is. And that is how amazing things are accomplished. Small steps, done consistently over time. This applies to losing weight, conquering an illness, parenting kids, improving rocky relationships, learning a new skill, or changing our way of being. It doesn’t matter what it is. It all requires the same initial work, one small step.

In my spiritual cannon, I read… “by small and simple things are great things brought to pass” and “out of small things proceeds that which is great.” Al. 37:6; D&C 64:33

One Small Step and Then another

When you are faced with a mountain such as Don is facing determine one small step that you can begin with. Do it consistently until you are ready to take the next small step. Don’t be discouraged if it takes time to find a first step that works. It has taken Don over a year and a half to find what works. When you have the first step begin. Do it repeatedly until you can take the next step.

If we are willing to do one small thing long enough and then another and another, there isn’t anything in our life or our family that we cannot improve. It is worth the effort!

Share the news! One small step and consistency will help us achieve our goals.