Category: Better living and Parenting

I Thought I Had Committed (I Hadn’t)

In January, my daughter Jodie gathered a group of friends to work on having a better outcome in 2026. We listened to an interesting YouTube video by Daniel Pink. The premise was that structure beats willpower. We each determined what we regretted from 2025 and how we could do better in 2026 to avoid repeating our mistakes.

My regret was not getting my writing in until the last minute. I regretted that because it fed this old story — there is no time in my life for me — and it led to feelings of resentment toward those I care for. I placed my lack of consistency on them and their needs.

We also worked on choosing a priority goal. Of course, mine was to write every day, as consistently as possible, even if only for a few minutes, or to continue even if interrupted several times. I wanted to take responsibility for my choices and stop blaming and complaining.

Here’s something I shared early on in one of our conversation threads: “I have a hard time doing my own things even when I try. I do my personal morning routine, but it’s interrupted, and I usually don’t get any writing done. For the last four days, I rarely sat down, and tonight I didn’t even get to eat my dinner until 8 pm. No TV, no internet, no reading, no loafing, just serving and doing what’s necessary. I oversee what I choose to do, but I’m obviously doing something less effectively than needed.”

Jodie, our discussion leader, asked me if I had articulated my most important goals for the year. My reply was, “Not well.” After careful thought, this is what I decided was my most important goal for 2026 — to write every day, so I wasn’t pushed up against a deadline, feeling resentful, and hanging onto that old, untrue story.

As we wound down the class, Jodie — my daughter and the discussion leader — decided we would be good accountability partners. Interestingly, Jodie had the same goal: to write consistently. We checked in with each other daily for two weeks. On some days our writing got 10 minutes, and on other days an hour.

At the end of the two weeks, I realized that it had become easier to write daily. I was able to write every day except Sunday, which I take off, and I was more prepared as my publishing deadline loomed. What had happened? Nothing in my life changed — not the schedule, the interruptions, the people, nothing. If anything, it had gotten more intense with Don’s fifth surgery on February 23rd. I had to think about this for some time because nothing had changed except that I was writing daily. My resentment had faded. I had stopped blaming my family and circumstances. What had changed?

For Me, it Wasn’t Structure Over Willpower but Commitment Over Intention

When I finally sorted it out, I had to laugh. It was something I know in my core and am very good at: making a commitment. I understand the importance of systems, or as Pink termed it, structure. I mentored mothers on workable and successful systems for over a decade.

I also understand the difference between intention and commitment. I had let life, complications, and caregiving overtake me. I hoped I could fit my writing in. I wanted to fit it in. I knew it mattered, not just to my readers, but to me. I seriously thought I was trying. But here is the crux: I had not continued in the commitment I had held before I became a full-time caregiver. I had consistently written, despite vacations, illness, schooling, etc., for years. But that earlier commitment had morphed into an intention, a desire, a hope. I felt serious. I cared deeply. But I was no longer committed to the task! It’s embarrassing to admit.

Such a Simple Difference — Commitment vs. Intention

From decades of experience, I know when I’ve committed and when I haven’t. It rings in my heart. For example, I’ve discovered after some research, prayer, and thoughtful pondering that some of my physical problems are caused by sugar. During a prayer, I told God I intended to stop eating sugar. You all know I cook almost everything from scratch and use only Monk Fruit and no wheat flour. I’ve done this for over five years to help Don with his health issues. However, three years ago, I began having a harder time staying on the sugar-free wagon. After my hip surgery last September, it became even harder. I was weary and ate food that others provided. I still did a ton of cooking, but the few months that others cooked for our family put me back on the sugar wagon. I’m sure God smiled when I told him I was giving it up. He knew I hadn’t committed. He knows me.

Over 30 years ago, I had to give up all pork and chocolate. They cause serious mood swings. I’ve researched the components of both, and they share some things that cause the swings. When I realized these foods were not good for me, and after a great deal of prayer, I made a commitment about pork. It took several more months and some experimentation when it came to chocolate. 🙂 However, for over 30 years, I have not budged on these two things, not once! This is where I need to go with sugar.

It’s where I need to go again with my writing, despite the major changes in my lifestyle. The class was in January. Jodie and I began holding each other accountable in February. In the next few months, I didn’t miss one day, not one. Why? Because it changed from an intention — a need, a want, a hope — to a commitment to myself.

Because of my way of being, when I commit, it’s usually a done deal. I rarely need outside accountability. It doesn’t work this way for everyone. We all have different personalities, and some of us are better able to commit than others. But I’ve seen even those who find it hard to make a commitment to themselves — and then hold true — do it, if it matters enough and if they understand themselves.

A helpful book to read about your way of being is Gretchen Rubin’s The Four Tendencies. She categorizes people into four groups: Upholders, Rebels, Obligers, and Questioners.

The book explains how understanding your tendency helps you make better decisions, form habits, and improve your life by working with your nature, not against it. It reveals why some people easily meet deadlines while others struggle with self-imposed goals.

Upholders meet both outer expectations (e.g., work deadlines) and inner expectations (e.g., New Year’s resolutions) easily. They value discipline and structure.

Questioners question all expectations and will only follow them if they make sense. They resist outer expectations unless they can justify them internally.

Obligers meet outer expectations readily but struggle with inner ones. They need outside accountability to follow through on their own goals.

Rebels resist all expectations, both outer and inner. They value freedom and individuality and need to feel they are making their own choices.

I’m an Upholder, and my shared experience this year with these other women showed me I hadn’t committed. Jodie, as an Obliger, needs external accountability. Since we are no longer holding each other accountable, she has struggled a bit and has had to find ways to manage her tendency. When we understand our way of responding, we navigate better. Don, my husband, is a Questioner and needs to understand why. Knowing this about him helps me help him.

It isn’t useful to beat yourself up when you find it hard to commit and stick with it. Instead, understand yourself so you can find ways to make it work. You don’t need to read the whole book — just take the easy quiz. Then accept yourself where you are and learn to work with it.

Back to the sugar. I realized that even though I can usually hold myself accountable, in this difficult season, I needed some outside accountability. I had an appointment with my naturopath last week, and we talked about sugar, and I committed. This week, she reached out to see how I was doing. I was glad I could say, “Making progress.”

The Results of My Writing Commitment

I manage that old story better — there is no room in my life for me. There is if I make it happen. The story still surfaces, and maybe always will, but I can rewrite it quickly. I no longer panic over repeated interruptions (well, not as often). I know that my consistent effort will pay off. I am experiencing it.

I’ve stopped blaming circumstances and caregiving for my lack of getting it done. If I miss a day, I know I chose to miss. Again, this takes daily practice, but I am managing better.

I feel less anxious and resentful. I’m still a work in progress, but I am so much calmer, kinder, more tender, and on top of my deadlines than I was.

Am I perfect? I’ve missed some days, but if I make it 90% of the time, that’s a HUGE win — and I’ve been doing that. It can still be only 10 minutes. I’m still repeatedly interrupted when I sit at the computer, but realizing why I was struggling, taking responsibility, and giving up blame has been life-changing. Now, the blame is where it belongs: on my shoulders. That can be irritating, but taking responsibility feels better than being a victim.

What is Your Commitment?

My friend, Mary Black, and I visited a month ago. I shared my experience with her. I told her it was embarrassing that I was struggling with something I understand and have taught. Here was her response: “Oh, I am feeling that right in my soul. That’s exactly what I needed to hear today, Mary Ann, so thank you, thank you.” This is something we all deal with. As you look at the places in your life that aren’t working, could a lack of commitment be the issue?

If you’re struggling, think carefully. Have you committed to whatever it is — being calmer, touching your kids more, keeping a family system going, accomplishing a goal, learning a language, creating firmer family relationships, being a better housekeeper, getting rid of stuff, overcoming a weakness, and so on?

There is a difference between intention and commitment.

THE TRAVELING SPARK STATION – WIDE-EYED AND WONDERING Part 3

Here we are — Part 3. If you’ve been reading along with Part 1 and Part 2, you already know the rhythm. You pick a topic, you gather a few books, a simple activity or two, and maybe something to eat. You show up, and something small and good happens.

Part 3 is where the Traveling Spark Station gets wonderfully wide. We’re talking about the entire world — its creatures, its seasons, its countries, its history, and the people who shaped it. These topics help children understand that they’re part of something bigger than themselves: a family with a history, a country with a story, a planet full of remarkable things worth knowing about.

You don’t have to be an expert in any of these subjects. I certainly wasn’t. When we explored the solar system, I looked up facts alongside the children as they asked questions. When we studied the Lewis and Clark expedition, I studied a little each day the week before, just enough to be prepared. You don’t need to know everything. You just need to be curious and willing to find out.

One more thing before we dive in: the best Traveling Spark Station moments often aren’t the ones you planned. They’re the conversations that went longer than expected, the child who couldn’t put the book down, the craft that turned into something completely different, and ended up being better. Stay flexible. Follow the spark wherever it leads.

THE WORLD AROUND US

1. Ocean Life
When we explored the ocean, I was working with quite a group — a one-year-old, two three-year-olds, a five-year-old, and an eight-year-old. What surprised me most was that the eight-year-old was just as engaged as the littles, even though everything I had prepared was aimed at younger children. We read books, made a couple of crafts, and I answered what felt like a thousand questions about the ocean and its creatures. We had a fun time.

2. The Planets
I was given a solar system kit and, not knowing much about the solar system myself, I put it in the Traveling Spark Station and figured we’d learn together. It felt a little rough around the edges, but that’s perfectly fine. There’s nothing wrong with letting a child watch you look something up, puzzle something out, or admit that you don’t know. Treat not knowing as a door to adventure and walk through it together. We had some great books, and that night we went outside and stared at the sky for a long time. It was a very good evening.

3. Stars
No matter how wonderful your Spark Station contents are, some days don’t go as planned. I want you to know that and be at peace with it.

The week before our star’s activity, Jack had mentioned he wanted to make gingerbread. I forgot. The Traveling Spark Station arrived full of star things, and Jack wanted to know where the gingerbread was. His mom, Jodie, bailed me out and promised the family would make gingerbread together that evening. Thanks, Jodie.

Despite my lapse, we had a genuinely fun day. We made a star mobile and stars in a bottle. We taped black construction paper to the underside of a bunk bed, crawled inside our fort, and stared at glow-paint constellations above us. The grands loved it and had lots of questions. We had Hershey Kisses for a treat, shiny stars, and read a book together. And the next time I saw Jack, I remembered the gingerbread.

4. Lions
Animals are some of the best Traveling Spark Station topics because children are already curious. When we talked about lions, the questions came fast and didn’t stop. We pored over books together, everything from simple picture books to large coffee table volumes, talking about what the children noticed in the photographs.

We learned that lions don’t live in jungles. They live on the savannah, where the grass is tall enough to hide in, and there’s plenty of room to chase dinner. A lion’s family is called a pride. Lions have only two enemies: other lions and man. Male and female lions look completely different from each other. We found Africa on the map and learned that the entire United States fits inside the African continent three times over. The children were astonished.

We made a lion head craft to hang on the wall and put together lion sandwiches for lunch. The whole activity lasted about an hour, and we had a ball.

5. Dogs
Are dogs related to wolves? Do they talk with their tails? Can they really smell better than we can? These were the questions we set out to answer — partly because Maggie, Mary, and Jack loved their two dogs, Odie and Coby, and partly because what we learned helped them be better dog owners.

We read a couple of books, made dog ears to wear, and built cookie dogs out of Oreo Cookies. They had enormous fun making them and even more fun eating them. We tested Odie and Coby’s famous noses with a little game, and the dogs performed rather poorly, which made everyone laugh. We ended by making a rolling dog toy together. A very fun day, and the kids genuinely came away knowing more about the animals they loved.

6. Dragonflies and Katydids
Sometimes the Traveling Spark Station topic chooses itself. One morning, I found a perfectly preserved dragonfly on my balcony — one of my favorite insects. A few days later, walking to the car, I spotted a magnificent dead Katydid on the sidewalk. That settled it.

Mary and Jack were fascinated. They even worked up the courage to hold the insects, though Maggie would have absolutely nothing to do with any bug in her hand and was completely firm about it. She was, however, utterly mesmerized by the books, poring over every picture long after the other two had wandered off. We made paper dragonflies from graduated circles of construction paper, wiggle eyes, and pipe cleaners, and flew them around the room before hanging them up; a simple, spontaneous, wonderful day.

7. Ladybugs
I was never a strong science student, but I loved zoology — entomology in particular. Did you know there are over 5,000 kinds of ladybugs? My grands didn’t either. They were hooked from that first fact.

Jack, Maggie, and Mary devoured the library books. They were fascinated to learn that ladybugs don’t always look the same, and absolutely delighted that baby ladybugs were, in their words, really ugly. Jack made a ladybug caterpillar instead of the ladybug crown everyone else made, classic Jack. Maggie, who was developing a wonderful sense of humor, adored the book Are You a Ladybug? We painted rocks to look like ladybugs and put them in the garden. A happy, bug-filled afternoon.

8. Gardening
On this Traveling Spark Station day, we went straight to the garden. The children helped pick strawberries and peas. We looked at the tools in the garden box and talked about what each one was for. I had a terrific book about large-scale farming: the machines, the processes, the scale of it. We compared that world to our small box garden. After reading, we made a tractor from the letter T.

We tasted four kinds of apples: red, yellow-red, green, and yellow, and discovered they all tasted different. We made a handprint apple tree, read a book about growing pumpkins, and I showed them the actual pumpkins forming on the vine, which thrilled them because the real thing matched the pictures exactly. We ended by setting up three jars of seeds to sprout: mung beans, alfalfa, and lentils, so they could watch something grow on their own, no garden required.

9. Winter
We began with a beautiful book called Stranger in the Woods, a pictorial story about woodland animals encountering a snowman, a stranger in their forest. Then we made our own snowman from felt and pipe cleaners, talked about what we each liked and didn’t like about winter, and looked through books about how animals survive the cold months. It was a quiet, cozy, creative Traveling Spark Station day — which felt exactly right for a winter topic.

10. Summer
A trip to the library turned up a whole stand of summer books, and I checked out eight. The children loved reading through them. We talked about what summer looks, feels, and smells like, what we wear, where we go, and why people sweat and dogs pant.

The Traveling Spark Station also arrived with everything needed for bubbles: a homemade recipe, store-bought solution, giant wands, tiny wands, a battery-operated bubble blower, and straws for blowing bubbles in a pan of soapy water. We had a summer picnic of water, dates, raisins, and graham crackers. Simple and perfect.

11. The Seasons
I will confess that I do not like winter, not even a little. What I do love about Utah, the state I live in, is its four very distinct seasons. Fall is my favorite, a sublime season that fits me perfectly.

We used the Traveling Spark Station to explore all four seasons together. We made gingerbread muffins to celebrate fall, read books about each season, and talked about how a full trip through all four seasons means another whole year has passed, and another round of birthdays. The children wanted to know whose birthday fell in which season. We took a walk, raked leaves, and made sun catchers to hang in the window. There are wonderful ideas online for exploring the seasons with older children, too. It’s a topic with no age limit.

COUNTRIES AND TRADITIONS

1. Karate and Collections
One of my favorite Traveling Spark Station moments happened without the basket at all. I was visiting a friend and began talking with her nine-year-old son, Jason. He showed me his eight karate belts. I had raised three boys and had a grandson who had taken karate, so we had plenty to share. Then I mentioned some Korean money my father had brought home after the Korean War. Jason’s eyes lit up; his dad had a coin collection. He disappeared and returned with a jar full of coins and bills from countries all over the world. We spent the next fifteen minutes going through it together. We looked at a Chinese bill and talked about what different currencies around the world are called.

The following week, I brought Jason a gold-colored Washington dollar to start his own collection. A friend later gave me some Indonesian bills, which I passed along to Jason. A simple visit turned into a connection that stretched across several weeks, no basket required.

HISTORY AND FAMOUS PEOPLE

1. The History of Trains
My friend Melissa took her Spark Station traveling on a train. Her family rode several trains on vacation, and she brought library books about trains and railroad history. The children loved reading about the transcontinental railroad and other train history while riding the rails.

It’s a simple principle: look at what your family’s already planning and let it inspire the Spark Station. Are you going to an amusement park? Look up the history of amusement parks. Going camping? Learn about John Muir and make a nature journal. The adventure you are already taking becomes the doorway to learning and family connection.

2. Lewis and Clark
One of the keys to a successful Traveling Spark Station activity is a little preparation. Lewis and Clark taught me that a little each day goes a long way. The week before, I spent a few minutes each day getting ready: one day, I found a book on the expedition and printed some coloring pages. The next day, I located a map of their trail. Then I found information on the Hidatsa people and on Sacagawea. Then I gathered what we needed to make a parfleche and a small replica of a keelboat. Finally, I wrote up a neighborhood expedition list: find a white rock, a purple flower, a feather, and so on.

By the time the day arrived, we were ready, and we had a wonderful time. A little daily preparation is all it takes to turn a big topic into a rich family adventure.

3. Black History Month and Martin Luther King Day
January brings Martin Luther King Day, and February brings Black History Month. Both found their way into my Traveling Spark Station every year. We had books, coloring pages, and simple activities. We talked about dreams and how people turn them into reality, and about the dreams the children and their families had for themselves. The kids were always fascinated.

Over several years, we explored Rosa Parks, George Washington Carver, Sara Breedlove Walker, Joseph Winters, Dr. Mae Jemison, and Sidney Poitier — an actor I had been absolutely mad about as a young girl.  Whatever the age of the children you are working with, there is wonderful material available, from board books for the youngest to rich biographies for older readers.

4. Famous People
Over the years, many remarkable people found their way into the Traveling Spark Station. I love history and understanding what motivates people to do great things. I discovered that my grandchildren did too. We would read about a person, talk about when and where they lived, eat food from their era, color pictures, and discuss how their lives were similar to or different from ours.

Some of the people we explored: Peter Cooper, Pearl S. Buck, William Jennings Bryan, the painter Grandma Moses, novelist Sir Walter Scott, playwright Sir Noël Coward, President Teddy Roosevelt, Alexander Graham Bell, Leonardo da Vinci, and Stonewall Jackson. History is full of fascinating people. Pick one that sparks you and share it with the children in your life.

The world is a remarkable place, and children know it instinctively. They want to know why lions don’t live in jungles, how Lewis and Clark found their way across a continent, and what their own family’s veterans were like when they were young. All you have to do is show up with a few books, a simple activity, and a willingness to explore alongside them.

That is the Traveling Spark Station at its best, not a lesson, not a performance, just two or more people discovering something together.

In Part 4, we turn to holidays, and there are more worth celebrating than you might think. From Halloween’s Celtic roots to the surprising story of Labor Day, from the first Thanksgiving to the peculiar mathematics of Leap Year, holidays are some of the richest and most natural Spark Station territory.

The Real Problem With Kits Isn’t The Kit

When I worked with individual families, this question came up often – should I let my kids use kits or have them work from scratch? I had listened to speakers and read articles that said absolutely no kits. By then, I had stopped living in a black-and-white world. I had learned to take my family, their needs, as well as my own, into consideration when deciding what was good for connection and learning. I had gotten brave enough to say, “I’m the expert in my home.” I surely didn’t know everything and still don’t, but I observed, pondered, and used my good sense. With that in mind, read what I’m sharing today about using kits with kids, and then do what’s right in your home, with your kids or grands.

My Thoughts

I didn’t use many kits in my Spark Station, a dedicated creative space in my home, but I would occasionally take one traveling, like the solar system kit someone gave me. Here are some things to consider.

•Kits can be fun, and kids love them. They also come with a challenge for parents: we tend to want to follow the directions. Kits work best when parents let go of the outcome. A perfect bar of soap isn’t as important as mixing, experimenting, and deciding what to do next. Failure can be a great learning tool.

•If used too often, kits can stifle creativity because there isn’t as much room for experimentation. Paint by number is never going to be as effective in getting a child to think as a blank piece of paper and tubs of paint. The finished product may be more eye appealing, but that isn’t the point, is it! We want kids to express themselves, think, and problem-solve. However, if you’re taking a long car trip, paint-by-number beats tubs of paint every time.

•Occasionally, a kit isn’t worth what you pay because the contents are skimpy, and you can assemble one yourself more affordably. You have to decide if the kit is worth the cost and if it will allow your child to expand their knowledge and creativity.

•Here’s the most important consideration: can you release the cost of the kit? This kind of thinking will stifle your child’s creativity and ability to explore, “I paid $15 for that kit, and you aren’t going to ruin it.” If you can’t let go of the cost, don’t buy it. If you must hover to make sure it gets done right, then kits are not a good choice for you.

Oh, the Places a Kit Can Go

Don’t abandon kits altogether, as long as you can let go of the cost and let kids make mistakes. What if you decided to put a telescope in your Spark Station, but you have a child who loves putting things together? In that case, a telescope kit might be perfect. I found one online for around $25, a great way to give a child a taste of engineering while learning and having fun.

So much of what we consider play is actually science, math, and more. While doing research for my book, Becoming a Present Parent, I was amazed by the variety of inexpensive kits available, but even more surprised by the categories. When I searched Chemistry for Children, I found everything from professional equipment to kits for kindergartners, including how to brew your own root beer, make chewing gum, craft homemade cheese, mix a perfume, make soap, build a candy factory, and create cosmetics. I’ll bet you have a child or grandchild who would be over the moon to try one of those.

A kit can also help you respond to a Spark, meaning whatever your child is currently excited or curious about. What if your daughter is all about hair and makeup, like my granddaughter Mary? You could add a cosmetics or perfume kit to your Spark Station. The next thing you know, her brother, dad, or little sister is helping her read the directions, and they’re off. That interest could eventually lead to herbs, medicines, or potpourri, especially if you add a few books on those topics to your Spark Station.

One more idea: you can get great inspiration for your Spark Station simply by browsing kits, even if you never buy one. What would you need on hand to do a similar project yourself? Take a terrarium, for example. You could add containers, a bag of soil, and a few small plants to your Spark Station. During family time, there will be no shortage of ideas about what to do with it all. Add a book on terrariums, and you might find yourself in a wonderful conversation about biospheres and ecosystems, with the right books nearby for every age in your family.

That’s what we hope for, that a simple kit or collection of supplies sparks curiosity, creativity, and connection. It may or may not unfold that way, and that’s okay. Like everything else in your Spark Station and family life, it’s all an experiment.

Kits are worth thinking about.
Give them a try, stay curious, and see where the sparks fly.

THE TRAVELING SPARK STATION – NUMBERS, NEEDLES & FAIRY RINGS Part 2

Welcome back. If you read Part 1, you already know that the Traveling Spark Station isn’t about content — it’s about being present. It’s about showing a child that the person standing in front of them finds the world interesting and wants to explore it together.

In Part 2, we’re going to explore two areas that might surprise you: math and the arts. I say “surprise you” because math has a reputation for being dry and intimidating, and the arts sometimes get dismissed as less important than “real” subjects. The Traveling Spark Station disagrees with both of those ideas.

Math is everywhere — in the cookies you’re counting out, the nails you’re hammering, the fractions in a recipe, the shapes on a walk around the block. When you make math real and connect it to something a child already loves, it stops being a subject and starts being a tool. And the arts? Creativity, imagination, and making things with your hands are among the most powerful ways children (and adults) make sense of the world. From crocheting white blood cells to building fairy houses in Yellowstone, you’ll see exactly what I mean.

Pack your basket. Let’s keep going.

MATH

1. Learning Our Numbers
One Traveling Spark Station day was designed to help my littlest grands get more comfortable with numbers. Maggie already knew her numbers from 1 to 20. Jack could count to eight — really fast, which mattered a great deal to him — but he couldn’t yet point to items one at a time and count them individually. Mary couldn’t talk yet, but she could count in her own way.

We played number recognition games, tried some dot-to-dot pages (which produced a lot of laughs), worked on counting worksheets, and made a number caterpillar from circles of construction paper. And of course, there were books. There are always books.

2. Giving Math Meaning
People often ask how to get children interested in math. My answer is always the same: find something they already love that uses math and start there. Enjoyment of math has everything to do with inspiration.

I once came across an experience in Stephanie Pearl-McPhee’s book ‘At Knit’s End’ that stopped me in my tracks. She had struggled with math in school, but when she discovered knitting, everything changed. She wrote that the very computations that had made her miserable in math class became completely worthwhile the moment they helped her knit. She wondered why no one had thought to teach math through knitting in the first place.

Math is in games, puzzles, building projects, cooking, shopping, and sewing. Pay attention to what your children are drawn to, and you will find math hiding inside. Help them find it there first, and they will discover that math can be fun.

3. Math Through Carpentry
Carpentry is one of the best math teachers I know. Counting nails, measuring boards, understanding angles and geometric shapes — a simple building project teaches more than it appears to. Two books I found and loved are Carpentry for Children and Housebuilding for Children, both by Lester Walker. They work beautifully for kids, teens, and adults alike. It was a joy to help my son make a stool as a gift, and later to do the same with my grands.

In my Traveling Spark Station, I kept simple carpentry projects for the littles — counting nails and hammering them into a tree trunk, counting each one again as it went in. Simple, hands-on, and genuinely fun.

4. The Periodic Table
I discovered a game called Elementeo, created by a fourth grader, that teaches the concepts behind the periodic table. Since I never took physics or chemistry, this was new territory for me. I found a fun video about the periodic table made for kids, and together my grands and I introduced ourselves to the fundamentals. None of us knew much going in, and we all came out knowing more. That’s one of the quiet joys of the Traveling Spark Station — you don’t have to be the expert. You just have to be willing to explore.

5. Geometry Through Shapes
I was interested to learn that my struggles with math might have had less to do with ability and more to do with a lack of early experience with shapes and spatial relationships. For young children, shapes really are the building blocks of mathematical understanding. As author Carolyn Brunetto puts it, many children grasp abstract math concepts far better through physical experience than through drills.

So, one day, the Spark Station arrived full of shapes. We looked at a wonderful book called Shape Capers by Cathryn Falwell, whose pictures were so inspiring that we simply copied them and made our own shape creations. We made a shape boat, created a chart of shapes to look for on a neighborhood walk, played a shape-naming game, and had shaped snacks — oval hard-boiled eggs, rectangular crackers, and circular oranges.

The highlight of the day came when I showed Jack that two half-circles make a whole circle, and that two triangles make a diamond. He did it over and over, genuinely amazed each time. That kind of wonder is exactly what the Traveling Spark Station is for.

6. Patterns and Mathematical Reasoning
A library visit one afternoon turned up so many wonderful math and pre-math books that I couldn’t leave without them. We used them as a jumping-off point to explore patterns and the concept of same and different.

I didn’t have pattern books specifically designed for very small children that day, so we made up our own activities — looking for patterns around the house, in the wallpaper and carpets, and making a caterpillar from colored construction paper circles. Everyone loves using glue. We then turned to same and different, using a book called ‘Same, Same’, which introduced items that looked different but shared something in common — stripes, size, or purpose. We played sorting games with puzzle pieces, toys, and household objects. The children had no idea they were doing math. They thought they were just having fun. They were right.

7. Math in Everyday Life
Fractions didn’t become real to me until I learned to cook. At school, they were enemies on a page. In the kitchen, making pies, they became friends I needed. That shift — from abstract to real — is everything.

Carpentry teaches algebra and geometry without ever calling them that. Sewing teaches measurement. Shopping teaches value and budgeting. When my Traveling Spark Station includes baking supplies, I talk through every measurement with my grands out loud: “We need one cup of flour — that’s a whole cup. Now we need half a cup of butter, so we only fill it halfway. We need one teaspoon of vanilla, but we’re making two batches, so we need two teaspoons.” A real “I am doing it” moment is the best story problem there is, and you can take that kind of learning anywhere.

8. Math for Preschoolers
The Traveling Spark Station visited preschoolers often, and math was always welcome there. Young children need a great deal of doing and saying before written numbers make any sense to them — and the good news is that preschool math requires no textbooks, no workbooks, and no special equipment.

Here is a conversation I had with three-year-old Jack one afternoon. I asked him to get six cookies. He counted out four and told me he had three. We laid them out together and counted — one, two, three, four. “You have four, Jack, but we need six. That means we need two more.” He got two more, we laid them alongside the first four, and counted all the way to six together. Then we did the same with marshmallows and M&Ms. He was learning to count with real objects in his hands, and he was perfectly happy the whole time.

We also sorted socks, put away groceries by category, made patterns with buttons and beads, and looked for patterns all through the house. The kids didn’t know they were learning math concepts. They thought they were just spending time together. And that, of course, is the whole point.

ARTS, CRAFTS & IMAGINATION

1. The Family Reunion Traveling Spark Station
Every other year, my Spark Station travels to our family reunion, and this has been going on for several decades. Reunions can be wonderful, exhausting, emotional, enlightening, and fun — often all in the same afternoon. We always set aside a specific room or cabin just for the Spark Station, available only a few hours each day, so parents aren’t tied down. It takes planning, but it’s worth it.

I choose crafts based on four things: low cost, simple materials, ease of creation across a wide age range, and minimal adult direction needed. Over the years, we’ve made name plates for bedroom doors, trinket boxes from popsicle sticks, painted birdhouses, nature journals, cardboard flower presses, God’s eyes, and run nature treasure hunts. The older kids make the same things as the littles and genuinely enjoy helping them. Even some adults have been known to pick up a craft. When one nephew was leaving and came to hug me, he said, “My girls told me they really love the craft lady.” That made my whole reunion.

2. Learning to Crochet
Be brave and try crochet or knitting in your Traveling Spark Station. Boys and girls both enjoy it, I promise. One family discovered this firsthand. Mom was teaching one of her twin girls to crochet when her two boys, ages 11 and 13, announced they wanted to learn too. She wasn’t sure it was appropriate for boys — until the 13-year-old got sick and his younger brother decided to cheer him up by crocheting his brother a white blood cell, complete with googly eyes and a tiny hatchet so the sick brother could hunt germs. Mom decided that hatchet-wielding white blood cells were manly enough. I have used the Traveling Spark Station to teach several of my own grands to crochet, and it has always gone well.

3. Fairies
The day before my Colorado grandchildren arrived for a visit, I found a perfect fairy ring hidden by a bush in our front yard. That settled the topic for the Traveling Spark Station. I showed them the ring and read them a poem my mother had read to my sisters and me as children — There Are Fairies at the Bottom of Our Garden. I told them a fairy ring marks the place where fairies danced in the night. We all knew fairies weren’t real, but we all wanted to pretend they were. My nineteen-year-old daughter, Kate, suggested we set out a little tea party for the fairies and see if they came back. The girls wanted to know how we’d be able to tell. “You’ll see the fairy dust,” Kate said. Late that night, I watched her sneak outside in the dark to sprinkle glitter across the table and around the ring, getting real joy out of every bit of it. The girls still talk about that evening.

Later that same summer, the Spark Station traveled to Yellowstone, where another set of grandchildren each built a fairy house in the forest, guided by the movie Kristen’s Fairy House, two wonderful memories from one simple topic.

4. Dragons
Dragons have fascinated me since childhood. I’ve read about their origins and studied the legends for as long as I can remember, so of course, they found their way into the Traveling Spark Station.

We spent a good stretch of time poring over dragon books together, looking at pictures of the magnificent dragons created for Chinatown parades, and talking about where the legends came from. I found wonderful dragon craft projects online, but they were more labor and material intensive than I wanted. So, I made up my own — a dragon with wings cut from a paper plate. Simple, inexpensive, and the kids loved it. When the projects online feel like too much, make your own. You know your children, and simpler is almost always better.

By now, you’ve seen the Traveling Spark Station in many different forms — a knitting project, a carpentry afternoon, a family reunion craft room, an imaginary fairy ring. Some of these ideas came from trips to the library. One came from a dead dragonfly on the balcony. Some came from just paying attention to what the children around me were already curious about.

That last point is important. The best Traveling Spark Station ideas don’t always come from you. They come from the child who said they wanted to make gingerbread, or the nine-year-old who pulled out his dad’s coin collection. Your job is to notice, to listen, and to be ready.

In Part 3, we open the door even wider. We’ll explore the natural world — oceans, insects, seasons, and the night sky. We’ll visit countries and people in history.

There’s so much world to share with the children you love. Let’s go explore it.

A Spring Story – A Principle Taught

It’s spring — that season of newness, freshness, and quiet beginnings. It seemed the perfect time to share a story from Jaroldeen Asplund Edwards’ book The Daffodil Principle, because it beautifully illustrates something I’ve come to believe deeply: that lasting change happens 1% at a time. Not in grand gestures or overnight transformations, but in small, consistent efforts that grow into something magnificent. The story below is a beautiful illustration of this life-changing principle

Daffodil Garden

Several times, my daughter had telephoned to say, “Mother, you must come and see the daffodils before they are over.” “I will come next Tuesday,” I promised…

We parked in a small parking lot adjoining a little stone church. On the far side of the church, I saw a pine-needle-covered path, with towering evergreens and manzanita bushes and an inconspicuous, lettered sign “Daffodil Garden.”

We each took a child’s hand, and I followed Carolyn down the path…Then we turned a corner…, and I looked up and gasped. Before me lay the most glorious sight, unexpectedly and completely splendid. It looked as though someone had taken a great vat of gold and poured it down over the mountain peak and slopes, where it had run into every crevice and over every rise. The flowers were planted in majestic, swirling patterns, great ribbons, and swaths of deep orange, white, lemon yellow, salmon pink, saffron, and butter yellow.

“But who has done this?” I asked Carolyn. I was overflowing with gratitude that she brought me…This was a once-in-a-lifetime experience.

“It’s just one woman,” Carolyn answered. “She lives on the property. That’s her home.” Carolyn pointed to a well-kept A-frame house that looked small and modest in the midst of all that glory.

We walked up to the house, my mind buzzing with questions. On the patio, we saw a poster. “Answers to the Questions I Know You Are Asking” was the headline. The first answer was a simple one. “50,000 bulbs,” it read. The second answer was, “One at a time, by one woman, two hands, two feet, and very little brain.” The third answer was, “Began in 1958.”

There it was, the Daffodil Principle. For me, that moment was a life-changing experience. I thought of this woman whom I had never met, who, more than thirty-five years before, had begun – one bulb at a time – to bring her vision of beauty and joy to an obscure mountain top. One bulb at a time. There was no other way to do it. No shortcuts – simply loving the slow process of planting. Loving the work as it unfolded. Loving an achievement that grew so slowly and that bloomed for only three weeks of each year.

Still, just planting one bulb at a time, year after year, had changed the world. She had created something of ineffable magnificence, beauty, and inspiration. The principle her daffodil garden taught is one of the greatest principles of celebration: learning to move toward our goals and desires one step at a time – often just one baby-step at a time – learning to love the doing, learning to use the accumulation of time.

When we multiply tiny pieces of time with small increments of daily effort, we too will find we can accomplish magnificent things. We can change the world.

The thought of it filled my mind. I was suddenly overwhelmed with the implications of what I had seen. “It makes me sad in a way,” I admitted to Carolyn. “What might I have accomplished if I had thought of a wonderful goal thirty-five years ago and had worked away at it ‘one bulb at a time’ through all those years? Just think what I might have been able to achieve!”

My wise daughter put the car into gear and summed up the message of the day in her direct way. “Start tomorrow,” she said with the same knowing smile she had worn for most of the morning. Oh, profound wisdom!

What I Have Learned

In my 76 years, I’ve never seen anything truly great happen in a single burst. Every worthy goal, every beautiful thing built — a family raised, a skill developed, a grief endured — was accomplished through small steps, taken one at a time, for as long as it took. That is the 1% Principle, and it has become one of the truest guides of my life.

Here’s what it means in practice: rather than trying to fix or change everything at once, you focus on the best 1% — the one thing most worth improving right now. What I’ve found is that real progress in that one area quietly lifts everything else around it. You don’t have to splinter your attention across every problem. Consistent, focused effort on the right 1% creates momentum that spreads.

The woman in that daffodil garden didn’t set out to create a masterpiece in a season. She just planted one bulb. Then another. For 35 years. And the mountain was transformed.

You and I can do the same. We don’t have to have started 35 years ago.
We just need to begin today.

THE SPARK STATION – IT TRAVELS Part 1

Grandma experimenting with playing pretend.

When my daughter, Jodie’s, children were young, I lived two blocks away. When I was caring for them in my home, they loved the Spark Station. But I wanted to connect more often, so for several years I would take my Spark Station traveling to their home. I didn’t stop there. I took it to Washington and Colorado to connect with my faraway grands. I used it at events with children. I wanted a better connection with all the children in my life. It came to be called the Traveling Spark Station.

This four-part series is for anyone who loves a child but doesn’t live with them every day — grandparents, aunts, uncles, family friends, anyone who wants to show up and really connect. The Traveling Spark Station is simply a basket, bag, or box filled with books, supplies, and simple activities built around a single topic. You choose the topic. You pack what you need. And then you go.

Over the years, I wrote dozens of articles about the activities I did with my grandchildren — the topics we explored, the crafts we made, the books we read, the messes we made, and the memories that stuck. This series pulls those articles together into one place. My grandchildren ranged widely in age, and the internet makes it easy to find activities on any topic for any age. Books matter too. Reading together, even with the littles piled in your lap, builds connection in a way that nothing else quite does.

So, dive in. What sparks you? What do you know will spark the children in your life? That’s your starting place.

JUST FOR FUN

Since the Spark Station is for fun, learning, and connection, not everything has to be useful. Some activities are simply for the joy of it.

1. Empty Toilet Paper Rolls
I spent a few months collecting toilet paper rolls for an event where I created a Spark Station for 140 children. When it was over, I had many tubes left and started pondering how to use them. I googled “toilet paper roll crafts” and then tossed a bunch in my basket. No matter the topic, the season, or the holiday, you can find a craft made from toilet paper rolls. Some are great for pre-teens, and your teens will love helping the littles. You’ll be amazed.

2. Empty Water Bottles
We had the same kind of delight with empty water bottles. A water bottle collage, a landscape in a bottle, a baby’s rattle, a bird feeder, the options are endless, and there is something for every age online. Save those bottles and have a fun family activity. Why not start with a water fight and then make a craft?

3. Pretend Play
I did something scary for the Traveling Spark Station: I played pretend. I have done crafts, sewing, cake decorating, and gardening with hundreds of kids. But imaginative play? By the time I was fourteen, I had completely stopped pretending. I would build fabulous play spaces for my siblings (I was the oldest of nine) and then step back and let them play. I did the same with my children. I watched and enjoyed it, but I never entered the game.

I decided to try. The Traveling Spark Station held books that could be acted out, and a pile of large fabric squares. We read several stories together and then acted out The Little Red Hen. It was an interesting afternoon, and I genuinely enjoyed pretending with them.

4. Doing Nothing Special
I don’t want you to think every Traveling Spark Station activity needs to be carefully planned and filled with fabulous ideas. Some days you’re tired. Some days, circumstances intervene. One day, I showed up with no library books, no internet research, and no topic in mind.

We made cinnamon snakes from packaged biscuit mix, not because we were studying snakes, but simply because the children love to cook. My husband was building an air gun shooting range and had cut out small wooden animals as targets, so we helped paint Grandpa’s animals. That was it. We had a lovely time, helped Grandpa out, and enjoyed being together. Sometimes that is exactly enough.

OUR BODIES

1. What Can a Body Do?
One summer, the Traveling Spark Station had no projects and no crafts — just pure outdoor fun and movement. I wondered about Maggie, who was five and had severe cerebral palsy. What she can do on her own is very limited. But she has a body, and she likes to use it, so we went ahead. We walked. We smelled the air. We fed the ducks. We watered the garden. We felt flowers, leaves, and prickly stickers. We waded in a stream at the city park, swung on the swings, jumped, and ran. Then the long walk home, squinting into the sun. We ended with the book Sleep, Little One Sleep by Marion Dane Bauer. Our bodies and our eyes were ready for a rest.

2. Learning About Bones
Learning about bones was a laughing good time. We played a bone identification game by tickling our rib bones, neck bones, backbone, and hip bones. We talked about the difference between skin and bones: bones hold us up, skin holds us together. Skin is soft and can tear; bones are hard and can break. We talked about keeping both healthy and strong.

For activities, we traced everyone’s body on large pieces of paper and drew in the bones: head, spine, arms, legs, hips, and chest. Hanging the finished bodies on the wall was the most exciting part. We also made a Q-tip skeleton, read three wonderful books, and yes — we found a use for those toilet paper rolls too. : )

3. Toilet Training
You can put anything in a Spark Station, including potty training support. Jodie asked me to come up with fun ways to reinforce progress for Jack, who was in the middle of training; Mary, who wasn’t ready yet; and Maggie, in her wheelchair, who never would be potty trained. I want to be honest, there’s no way to make this topic relevant to older children. Sometimes the Spark Station holds something just for one or two kids, and that’s perfectly fine. This tool is versatile.

I had potty training books, of course. Jack was absolutely riveted; his interest could not have been higher. Maggie practically had her nose to the page as we read a story about a girl and her potty. She wasn’t interested in sitting on one herself, but she loved the stories. For our activity, we made a paper potty train to hang on the wall with prizes taped above it. Jack got to move the train down the track each time he used the potty. Maggie and Mary, in their own stages, got to move it when they brushed their teeth.

4. Germs and Hygiene
Jack, Maggie, and Mary had all been very ill for two weeks, which seemed like a good time to learn about germs. We looked at pictures of germs, watched a funny video of germs with cartoon faces, and used yeast and sugar to show how fast germs multiply. We practiced hand washing while singing the Alphabet Song. We spent less than an hour together. There was some chaos and a lot of laughing. Worked out great.

READING & WRITING

I love to read. Being able to read matters deeply to me. I wanted my grandchildren to love reading. That’s one reason the Traveling Spark Station always carries books, and one reason family reading time is worth protecting.

1. Mother Goose
I had a book of Mother Goose rhymes and found some wonderful, themed lunch ideas the kids could help me make. I made do with what I had on hand rather than running to the store. As we ate our Humpty Dumpty lunch, we read rhymes. I had made a few toilet paper tube puppets ahead of time, and we acted out Little Bo Peep, Mary Had a Little Lamb, and Baa Baa Black Sheep. Then we made Humpty Dumpty finger puppets to play with while we ate. One grateful mom sent me a note afterward: “Mary Ann, you are such a genius. The nursery rhyme-themed lunch and the puppets look amazing. I had never thought of anything like that.”

For children over six, try letting them create their own Mother Goose book for younger siblings, or look up the surprising history behind the rhymes. Ring Around the Rosie is a great place to start.

2. Letter Recognition
I had planned a letter recognition activity for 1-year-old Mary,  3-year-old Jack, and 5-year-old Maggie. Then, at the last minute, I discovered I would also have a 10-year-old, a 7½-year-old, another 5-year-old, a special needs 4-year-old who was blind, a 13-year-old, and a 15-year-old. Yikes.

I pulled out books and asked the children what they had in common. The older kids had a lot of answers. We played a letter recognition Memory game with alphabet cards — Christopher, the 10-year-old, loved it. Maggie dove into the worksheets, which are her favorite, and the other 5-year-old and the 7½-year-old joined her, delighted to be playing school. Annie, the 13-year-old, took pictures for us. Jason, the 15-year-old, settled in with Pride and Prejudice. He and I had a great conversation about Great Expectations while the littles played their card game. The Spark Station connects people regardless of age. Every time.

3. Family History
A fun way to inspire children to read and write is to start with family history. My grands had a ball looking at photos and hearing stories about their parents when they were young.

Another mom, Annette, tried this with her older children. A scrapbooker by nature, she had originally planned to create a memory book for each child from everything she had saved over the years. Instead, inspired by the Spark Station, she let each child explore their own box of treasures. They spent the whole activity telling each other stories and peppering their mom with questions.

Compiling a photo album and labeling the pictures together is another wonderful idea. Even children who can’t read yet will enjoy this for short stretches. Put some family history in your Traveling Spark Station and let the children celebrate the story of their own lives.

4. Classic Stories
Pack a few classics in your Traveling Spark Station for whatever age you’ll be with. Classics spark imagination and a genuine desire to read in a way that few other books can. Two tips I learned from my friend Rachel DeMille years ago have stayed with me: first, read with the intention to interact, not just to get through a chapter. Ask questions. Talk about what’s happening. When my Spark Station traveled to my grandchildren in Washington, this was one of their favorites. Second, take a little time to learn about the book you’re reading, whether it’s The Three Little Pigs or The Secret Garden. Your questions and conversation will be more interesting.

5. Books That Change You
One book in my Traveling Spark Station that I return to again and again is The Hundred Dresses. It’s about generosity, charity, and kindness, told through the eyes of young girls who learned these lessons the hard way. This book was impactful to me as a girl and changed how I treated other people, and it still does, every time I read it. That is what a classic does.

Think about the books that have changed your way of being. Those are worth sharing with the children and grandchildren in your life.

6. Books for Teens and Young Adults
I still read children’s books and young adult novels, and I freely admit it. They are fun and often say more than adult books.

One book I picked up by accident was The Lost DaVincis. It wasn’t until chapter three that I realized it had been written by my friends Aneladee and Don Milne. That made it even better. You know you have a good book when it makes you think. If it makes you think, it will do the same for a young reader. I decided that if I were eleven, I would be waiting breathlessly for the sequel. What a perfect Traveling Spark Station book. If you want your kids to read, read with them. Talk about the books. Take them along wherever you go.

7. Fables and Tall Tales
Fables, tall tales, and fairy tales are wonderful Traveling Spark Station territory for children from littles to teens. I checked out a wonderful assortment from the library. Reading through them gave me activity ideas.

I chose fables from Bali, Zaire, Mexico, two from Native American traditions, and one from America. When I asked Jack what he thought a fable was, he replied, “A monster.” We had a good laugh, and then I explained that it was a pretend story, and that every country in the world has its own pretend stories. I spread out a large world map, and we found each country together — Jack and Maggie were too young to fully grasp maps and continents, but I wanted to plant the idea.

We had simple crafts connected to each country: a tipi craft, a game, and a coloring page. Despite being so young, both loved every minute. This topic is rich enough to stretch across several family activities. You could even eat a dish from each country whose fable you read.

You’ve just seen how much ground a Traveling Spark Station can cover, from silly toilet paper roll crafts to classic literature, from tracing bodies on butcher paper to acting out The Little Red Hen. Some of these activities took careful planning. Some happened with a box of biscuit mix and whatever was on hand. All of them mattered.

That’s the thing about this tool: it doesn’t have to be perfect to be meaningful. It just has to be yours: your curiosity, your presence, and your willingness to show up.

In Part 2, we’ll keep going. We’ll look at how the Traveling Spark Station can make math genuinely fun — yes, really — and how arts, crafts, and imagination open doors that worksheets never could.

You may be surprised how naturally these things travel.

The Spark Station: Bringing It All Home Part 3

My Before and After Spark Station. Learning the five principles the hard way! : )

An older, tired-looking dog wandered into my yard one day. From his collar and well-fed belly, I could tell he had a home and was well cared for. He calmly came over, I gave him a few pats, and he followed me inside, walked down the hall, curled up in the corner, and fell asleep. An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out. The next day, he was back. This continued for several weeks.

I pinned a note to his collar: “I would like to find out who owns this wonderful dog and ask if you know that almost every afternoon he comes to my house for a nap.” The next day, he arrived with a new note: “He lives in a home with six children, two under the age of three. He’s trying to catch up on his sleep. Can I come with him tomorrow?”

Raising children is a 24/7 occupation and can be very tiring. With the right outlook, it can also be the most wonderful thing we ever do.

Seeing Differently

When I developed the Spark Station, I thought I was helping parents learn to use a useful tool for connection, learning, and fun. What I spent most of my time doing was helping parents see their children differently — helping them stop seeing their children as burdens, responsibilities, or problems to be solved.

My mission became helping parents adjust their sight and hearts, to see their children with new eyes. When we see differently, we behave differently. When we behave differently, we get new results. Willpower isn’t what makes a home a heaven. Seeing our children as people we genuinely like and want to be with does.

The Spark Station is a tool to help you accomplish that. When you observe the Five Principles of Power, you begin to connect with your children as people. The trick is to make time consistently, and then let go of the world and be present.

I love this passage from James: “Behold also the ships, which though they be so great, and are driven of fierce winds, yet they turned about with a very small helm.” You are the pilot of a great ship — your family. By implementing small changes for good, just a one percent improvement, you can turn your ship around. Have faith in yourself to learn, grow, and change, and that your children can weather the storm of your growth and theirs. By small and simple things are great things brought to pass.

My Accidental Spark Station

When I had five of our seven children at home, I accidentally created a large Spark Station. We had a basement room with shelves containing toys and items of interest, everything in a labeled bag or box, so you could always find what you were looking for. There was also a cupboard stocked with paper, scissors, glue, and tape, just like my grandmother Ann had kept. As my daughter Jodie later told me, “It was magical.” Except that it wasn’t — not consistently. Looking back, I can see why.

The room was available at any time. My children would play happily for a few days, and then it would lose its appeal because it had become a mess. They wouldn’t go back down no matter what, preferring instead to follow me around or park in front of the TV. I had given them a wonderful place filled with amazing things, and I couldn’t figure out why no one wanted to use it.

The second problem was cleanup. Because I wasn’t present — either physically or mentally — no one was guiding the experience. When the children tired of the room, they would pull everything out looking for something new until the place was chaos, then abandon it until I got tired of the mess and put it to rights myself.

The fix, I now know, was simply the five rules. A set time for the playroom each day would have preserved the anticipation that makes any Spark Station sing. Being present would have changed everything — I could have helped them clean up one mess before creating another, monitored the glue and scissors, read to a younger child, or helped an older one fix a slide for the microscope, all while building stronger bonds. Keeping fewer things out at a time, rotated every few weeks, would have kept the fascination alive and prevented the chaos that came when the children ran out of ideas. And a little planning would have saved me a weekly disaster to clean.

I didn’t know these principles then. I know them now, and that basement room is a big part of why I teach them so persistently.

One Child or 140 — the Principles Work

In 2011, I had the privilege of creating a Spark Station for an educational event — an entire room with 140 children. I wondered how it would work. Because of the Five Principles, it was a huge success.

We had a set space and a set time, and both parents and children could count on my team and the fun. Rule 1.

I remember holding a very young child who had been crying. She had stopped but was unwilling to let go of me, so I sat with her as 139 small bodies moved around me, knowing I was needed in many places. It was the end of a long day. Then another small child came up with teary eyes and put her hand on my knee. She wanted her mom. I felt a twinge of irritation — and then I made myself look into her eyes and saw a person in need. I hugged her, gave her a drink of water, and she hugged back. The tears dried up, and we three waited quietly for their mothers. When we focus on the child rather than the problem they are creating for us, we send a message of reassurance and caring that soothes hearts. We can only do that when we are present. Rule 2.

My team and I had worked hard to make that room something special. Rule 3.

That first morning, there were many options for children to choose from, and it took everything we had to keep up. For the afternoon session, we boxed many of the options and left out a streamlined selection. The calmer energy from that one adjustment was remarkable. Keeping it simple leads to peace. Rule 4.

And we planned — visualizing the outcome without putting our expectations in stone, with one goal: to keep the children happy and keep our good natures. Rule 5.

A Final Word

A mom wrote to me after working with the Spark Station for several months: “Introducing it into our family did just what you said — it made my kids want to be together, which encouraged me to be consistent. It took patience, planning, and practice, but we have improved. It even works when we have my two-year-old grandbaby over. Your information has been so useful. Thanks a million.”

That’s what this is all about. Not a perfect system or a perfectly stocked Spark Station — just a reliable, workable way to show up for your children and make being together a joyful part of family life.

Next, I will share how the Spark Station travels, what Spark Station Letters look like, and

 Ideas I used to keep my grandchildren fascinated for years.

The Spark Station in Action: Real Families, Real Results Part 1

I want to tell you about an experiment I did years ago. I had been talking to families about the Spark Station and quickly realized that something wasn’t clicking for a lot of them. They liked the idea, but it wasn’t working the way it should. I could see clearly that these parents were missing the vision of the real power this tool could have in their homes. So, I decided to test what I knew worked with real families — five of them, over two months.

The families were wonderfully different from each other. One had three children ranging from a newborn to three and a half, with the oldest having severe cerebral palsy. Another had three children ages six, ten, and twelve. One family had five children from ten months to eight years. Another had four children, ages five to sixteen. The last had five children, ranging from a newborn to ten. I talked face-to-face with parents and children, and what I learned from those two months shaped everything I now teach about the Spark Station. What I found was this: the tool itself wasn’t the problem. The principles behind it were.

It’s About Five Rules, Not the Stuff

I want to share a letter I received that illustrates this perfectly. “I had to send off a quick thank you for your help. The Spark Station is transforming our family learning experience and fun! Last Saturday, I found dollar insect items at Target. We are having a blast. I almost passed up the big plastic insects as ‘toys’ but realized, no, they are inspiration for my little boys and models for insect body parts. What was I thinking?”

Isn’t that a great letter? I have received many such letters, but here is what I want you to notice. This mom thought it was about the plastic insects. It wasn’t. It’s about a mom who was focused on inspiring her boys. It’s about a mom who meets with her children consistently and stays present. The insects are wonderful, but they are not the magic.

The magic’s in the Five Principles of Power. I’ve said this before, and I will keep saying it, because I want you to be convinced that these rules work, not just in learning but in family connection and fun.

Here they are:
1. Structure time and be consistent
2. Be present
3. Make it special
4. Keep it simple
5. Plan ahead

Understanding them deeply is what makes everything else work. I introduced them last week, but now I want to illustrate how the rules work in real families. Let’s start with the first three.

Structure and Consistency: Honor the Time

Once you have set a time for your family to use the Spark Station, honor it. Consider it sacred. I received an email from a mom who had just gotten her Spark Station ready and structured some family time, when every child came down with a cold. She shelved the whole thing for a week.

I understand. I raised seven children, and I know what it feels like when everyone is poorly. But here is what I told her: Hold to the time, even when life gets in the way. Modify it — gather your children, read for a few minutes, give everyone a glass of juice or hot chocolate, and call it good. The point is consistency. It allows your family to depend on time together, to know they can count on family time.

Illness isn’t the only thing that will challenge you. There will be days when you’ve made more commitments than you can manage. We all do it occasionally. When that happens, gather your children together, begin as you always do, read briefly, or visit about something important to your family, and call it good. Something is always better than nothing; your family will appreciate the consistency.

Be Present: The Real Gift

Being present is a gift — to whoever we give it to. It means listening without texting, checking email, or watching TV out of the corner of your eye. It means being all eyes and ears for what’s happening right now. Families feel more secure and happy when parents are truly present, and that feeling is the heartbeat of the Spark Station.

A reader once wrote to ask whether she was supposed to put activities in the Spark Station and observe, rather than jumping in with her own ideas. She worried that it seemed counterproductive to have a learning agenda when the whole point was connection.

Here is what I told her: when you’re working with a child under six, they usually want you to play with them and be with them. For them, it’s all about being with you and having that warm family feeling. That is the connection. Your learning agenda is simply what you choose to put in the Spark Station. Once it’s open, follow their lead.

Regardless of what is in your Spark Station, let each family member choose what they want to engage with. If it is on Sunday, everyone will be there. If it’s to unwind after school, just the kids and you, etc. If they ask questions, answer them. If they want you to play, play. If they seem content exploring on their own, let them.

Make It Special: The Siren’s Song

One dad described the Spark Station this way: “It’s like Christmas. The excitement stays because it isn’t available all the time. It’s amazing!”

He’s exactly right. The Spark Station only sings to children and family when it’s treated as something special — available at certain times, consistently, so it can be counted on and looked forward to. That anticipation is powerful.

I received a letter from a mom named Pam whose ten-year-old had just discovered cross-stitching materials in their Spark Station. She had only gotten three stitches in before lunch, and Pam knew her daughter would be frustrated not to continue. She asked whether there was ever an exception to keeping a project in the Spark Station rather than letting a child use it freely.

Here is what I told her: keep it in your Spark Station, and here is why doing so works in your favor. Your daughter isn’t bringing you a wad of tangled thread when you are up to your elbows in bread dough or separating squabbling siblings. The project’s also safe from the curious two-year-old, the interested six-year-old, and the teasing ten-year-old. A twelve-year-old girl told me what she loved most about the Spark Station. She said, “When you’re working on a cool project, and you have to stop, you’re excited about getting back to it ” Kids get it.

This principle works with things that are new to your family — cross-stitch, calligraphy, woodworking — and it works equally well with things they have had forever. I’ve seen parents take a book off their bookshelf, one their children have walked past for years, put it in the Spark Station, and suddenly everyone wants to read it. One young girl asked her mom to put a geography game in the Spark Station. It had been unused for over a year. Once it went in, she and her siblings played it many times.

As for how long an item stays in — it doesn’t matter. A day, a week, a month. When it comes out, its Spark Station life is over, and something new takes its place.

That’s the cycle that keeps the magic alive.

The Spark Station: Everything You Need to Know to Build One

When I was in fifth grade, I learned to crochet. It wasn’t easy to learn. I had never done anything like it before. I felt all thumbs, and it wasn’t always easy to conceptualize what it was I was supposed to do. With time, I did learn, and I made a small purse. My teacher coached me through almost every row until it was done. I still have that purse.

The next hurdle was learning to read actual directions. Yikes. It was like reading Greek. I had learned how to crochet, but without a teacher constantly at my elbow or being able to read the directions, I couldn’t really use my new skill. To learn to read directions, I had to go back to the beginning and learn to connect the skill with the actual execution of a pattern.

The same is true for the Spark Station. You may have heard me mention it, but hearing about it and actually creating and using one are two different things. This April, I’m going to give you the instructions you need.

Why The Name Change

When I decided I needed a new name for this amazing family connection tool, our youngest child was having her first baby. We were all excited about it.

When a new baby comes to a family, a lively search for a name ensues. The mother-to-be probably has a few she has carried in her head since she was a girl. The father may have a football hero or two with names he really likes. Our daughter and her husband went through quite a list looking for the perfect name.

The question is, how to choose a name? For our first child, we watched a movie. Two weeks before our due date, we still had no names picked out. Back then, you didn’t know which you would have, so you had to have two names ready. We were watching a Disney movie, and, in the credits, we saw the name Jodie. Eureka, the perfect name – perfect for no other reason than that it sounded good, and we liked it.

With all our other children, we went through a similar scientific process. One was named after a best friend, one was named after a song I liked, one came from the Bible, another was named…and that’s how it went. Later, I realized each name had a meaning and energy attached to it. Maybe we should have put more thought into choosing them, but you can’t go back and change a child’s name. For better or worse, it is what it is.

Fortunately, that’s not true in business! I knew I wanted to change the name of my family connection tool and searched for the perfect one for over a year. I wanted to make the change for several reasons.

•My printer said he loved my Closet Mastery Course, teaching how to use the tool, but had to look inside because he wondered if I was training people to come out of the Closet.
•When people asked me what I did, and I told them I showed parents how to create a Closet to connect as a family, I got confused looks and then the inevitable “So, how does a clean closet help them connect as a family?”
•Many parents told me they loved the tool but didn’t have a closet to use and were stuck.
•It seemed odd to call the tool The Closet and then tell people they could use a box, a bag, a drawer, or any container they liked – or even no container at all.

The name was problematic. I needed a name that spoke to what the tool was all about. I wanted a name descriptive of what made the tool so effective in helping families connect and making learning fun.

The Spark Station. I love that name. Let me tell you what the Spark Station is and how it can change the way your family connects.

The Spark Station

The Spark Station is about what’s inside, not what holds it. It can be a box, a plastic tub, a drawer, a closet shelf — or no container at all. It’s a place for cool learning and connection materials that inspire your children and bring your family together.

It’s designed to allow children to choose from several activities and topics of interest and engage with them in their own way. When used correctly, it’s very helpful in relieving the tension that comes when parents require children to stay together as a family on a Sunday afternoon, learn about a topic they may be struggling with in school, or stop arguing on a boring Saturday afternoon.

The Spark Station isn’t just one thing. It looks different in every family, and sometimes there is more than one, depending on the activity. Take the Sunday Box, for example, a box filled with cool stuff that helped a real family gather on Sunday afternoons. That’s the beauty of the Spark Station. You can showcase things your children are already interested in, you can gather to learn something new together, or just have fun. It keeps interesting and inspiring materials close at hand, so children and families have a magical and exciting place to learn, play, and connect.

There are Rules for Success

Whatever your Spark Station looks like, it’s only available at certain times. It isn’t a space that children can access anytime they want. Doing this preserves the sense of anticipation that makes it sing to kids, like a siren’s song. In Leah’s family, their Spark Station (The Sunday Box) was only available to the family on Sunday. Another family that homeschooled used their Spark Station during their school hours. Another family made their Spark Station available for an hour after school so kids could unwind. This builds value and interest in the content.

During the time you have set aside to learn, play, or be together as a family, you gather together for the amount of time you have pre-determined and open the Spark Station.

Not every child will want to engage with the content every time it’s available. They should be free to play with whatever takes their fancy — or even just read or write instead. They need to remain with the family, but they don’t have to engage with the Spark Station contents. When that happens — and it will — don’t be discouraged. I know, you worked hard on that Spark Station! But this is normal. In almost every family I’ve mentored, we’ve had to talk about this. Allow your children the freedom to decide.

The Spark Station is a tool that helps parents inspire their children, at all ages, to love learning, to experience new things, and to connect as a family. It brings scheduled, consistent moments of discovery and joy into your home — and those moments matter more than you know.

This April, let’s build one together.

Five Principles of Power Series – A Marvelous Example of Being Present

When my youngest daughter, Kate, was a senior in high school, she was in an advanced writing class. One of her assignments was to write a poem using iambic pentameter. She was overwhelmed by the assignment and wasn’t clear as to what iambic pentameter meant. They had talked about it in class, but most of you will relate to how clear it was by the time she got home. LOL

I want you to know I’m not a fan of poetry, unless it comes from Mother Goose. I’m a bit ashamed to admit it, and I know that I owe it to myself to read some poetry before I die. : ) My daughter, however, liked it a lot. She really enjoyed Shakespeare. She had read all of his works and all of his sonnets, watched many plays, and acted the part of Hero from “Much Ado about Nothing” in 8th grade. Here is another confession- I have read Romeo and Juliet and seen The Taming of the Shrew. That’s it.

So, it wasn’t a happy circumstance when she came to me and asked for help. I had no idea what iambic pentameter was. But how could I say no to my daughter who needed my support? So, we sat at the computer together and began. We looked up iambic pentameter. We read it. We gave each other a blank stare and then read it again. Now I may not love poetry, but I’m pretty good at figuring out what I read. I began to understand and was able to explain it to her. Then she was off and running.

We talked over possible topics for her poem. Then she chose one, which happened to be her own idea. Way to go, Kate. She told me the story she envisioned her poem telling. It was good, really good. Then she wrote the first line. I can see us pounding out the syllables into our hands and changing words until there were exactly ten syllables per line. We would come up with ordinary words and then check the Thesaurus to find words that were more descriptive, elegant, or fitting for the time period and topic. It was fun. We laughed a lot.

She wrote and rewrote for over 3 hours. I was there the whole time. I made suggestions whenever she was stuck on a word or a thought and asked for help. She seldom used the word I suggested, but it would spark her mind, and then she would come up with the perfect word by herself. She would look at me with an excited smile, raise her hand, and say, “Gimmie five.” I would, at regular intervals, say, “This is good; it’s really good. You’re amazing!”

Be With Me While I Write

When Kate was in her first year of college, she took a creative writing class. One assignment was to create an imaginary author and describe his/her life. She was to present a piece of the imaginary person’s writing and then analyze it. She decided to rewrite the poem she wrote in high school about a sailor’s widow. She was adjusting it to tell the story of a Civil War soldier’s widow.

One day, I peeked in her room to say hi and see what she was doing. “Mom, come in and let me read this to you.” I went in, and she read it to me. Then she asked me to sit down and help her out.

We reminisced about the time we worked on the original poem together; all those great feelings came back. We laughed about the experience and how fun it had been.

I sat on the side of her bed and watched her use the Thesaurus and the dictionary to find words she needed. I saw her look up Civil War information and get a feel for the time period. I didn’t say much. Her poem was coming along great. Eventually, I stood up, patted her back, and left her to her work. She didn’t really need me. She had learned through experience what to do.

This is a marvelous example of being present. What Kate had needed in high school, she wanted to feel again while creating her imaginary author and what they would have written. She wanted me to be present, to feel my support, have some of my focused time, and sense my enthusiasm for what she was doing. These are the things all kids need from time to time.

Kate wrote her poem in high school by herself. She thought she was asking me to help her do it. What she really asked was, be with me, care about me, and learn with me. This is Principle Two from The Five Principles of Power – Be Present.

 Kate is raising three children of her own, and she understands not only how to write a poem in iambic pentameter, but she also knows how to be PRESENT.  Enjoy Kate’s work from her high school days.

It’s now a few decades old, but still wonderful.

The Widow’s Walk

By Kate Johnson

Upon the widows’ walk forlorn, she stands.
Face gray, indistinct in the morning mist.
Iron railing, cold portent in her hands.
Heartache knocks, upon her cheeks he kissed.
Annals of mariner’s wives keeping pace,
Back and forth, eyes on the horizon.
Lives lost forty leagues below without trace.
Possibility, worry like poison.
Bells peal out, mournfully telling of loss,
Belaying her breath, they tacitly mock.
Mind shrouded, forever bearing the cross,
Endlessly trudging the high widow’s walk.
Hope springs eternal; they shall meet anon
Sighs a chantey to a roseate dawn.