Some children love math and science, while others find these topics unenjoyable or uninteresting. My grandson, Ben, was interested in both. He spent time on the computer looking up science questions rather than playing outdoors. As a child, I wanted to understand both math and science. I was intrigued by them, but my learning style made both very challenging. I had children who weren’t interested at all!

Math and science are important subjects that our kids will encounter in school, regardless of their educational setting, whether public, private, or homeschool. What can we do to respond to our children who are sparked by these topics, while creating interest in children who aren’t? One thing we can consider is turning them into fun, exciting, interesting, and at times, messy family activities. Kids love making a mess. : )

When my grands were young, I introduced them to levers. At the time, I didn’t know much about levers. I had never taken physics. If I didn’t know much about levers, what got me interested enough to think I could interest my grands? One day, I saw a game on television that utilized leverage and made me want to know more. It sparked me. : ) As I’ve aged, I’ve called upon my leverage learning to continue to do some things I wouldn’t otherwise be able to do. Leverage is a valuable concept to understand. I give directions for the game and the materials needed to make it at the end of this article.

I decided to see what else I could find that might be fun for the grands and me to work on together. I found all kinds of Lego builds and similar things. My grands had done some of these on their own without even knowing they were creating levers. I found playground equipment that used the principles of leverage. My grands had always loved seesaws. : ) But I was looking for something we hadn’t seen or thought of before. I was also interested in possible breakaway topics we could spend time on.

It didn’t take a ton of time to find fun things to share with them, and now, you. We have tools today that make it simple to find great activities that introduce science and math to children as young as four and five, even if the topic is new to you. It was fun finding simple ways to introduce fairly complicated concepts in ways that my grands and I could understand.

There’s a big payback when you have interesting stuff on hand in your home. I introduced the Spark Station to my homeschool audience years ago. However, I have used it extensively as a grandma, and it’s great in any home to respond to your kids Sparks, introduce something new and exciting, for something to do on a boring day, when there’s a need to defuse a contentious situation, or when you want to engage the entire family in an activity.

What is the Spark Station (formerly The Closet)? It’s simply a cupboard, individual shelf, or closet, where parents and grandparents put things they feel their kids or grands would enjoy engaging with. Kinda like a toy box, only more orderly and more interesting. : ) This is where I put some of the great information I found about levers. Then, when the grands came over, they looked in my cupboard (it was one shelf), and we were off.

Lever Activities

Getting into the habit of watching for your children’s sparks is useful because it gives you ideas, as the television show did for me, then follow through and find a few activities that your family or your children can engage in.

• In physics, a lever is a rigid object that’s used with an appropriate fulcrum or pivot point to multiply the mechanical force (effort) that can be applied to another object (load). It’s also called mechanical advantage. The seesaw I mentioned earlier is an example. When you go to the park, and your child rides the seesaw, mention that it’s a lever.
• Did you know that many common tools utilize the concept of leverage (crowbars, pliers, scissors)? Some modern examples of levers are using a hammer to pull out a nail, using a bottle-opener to open a pop bottle, using a screwdriver to pry the lid off a can of paint, using a pair of scissors, using a balance scale to weigh things, rowing a boat, and using pliers to open a bottle. They’re all based upon levers and fulcrums.
• Find an old tree stump (a walk in the woods for that purpose or a drive in the country can help you find one), a box of nails, and a hammer. Put the stump in the backyard and let the kids hammer in and remove nails. This is another opportunity to have a mini-conversation about this wonderful science concept. I can tell you that it’s a super fun activity! My grands LOVED it!! OK, what kid doesn’t like to whack something with a hammer, and while they’re busy at it, you can engage in some mini-conversations about Egypt and Archimedes. You can find information about them in the Breakaway Topics section, below.
• Find a community pond that rents boats and go rowing. Maybe you can fish while you are at it. Have several mini-conversations about leverage and its importance in helping you get back on land.
• Some animals have figured out how to use artificial levers to get work done. Sea otters, for example, use rocks to pry open seashells to eat sea urchins or abalones. Orangutans use sticks to pry open spiny fruit to eat the seeds inside. What else do these animals do? Where do they live? You can find pictures of animals using tools and levers online or in the library.
• People have probably used levers as long as there have been people on Earth. At first, people used levers the way otters and orangutans do, to break into shells and fruits to eat the food inside. Research online to see pictures of early levers in human life.
• Look for books that show how heavy machinery, such as cranes, uses length and leverage to move heavy objects into place. Buy a toy crane for your child and talk about how it works. This is an example of a mini-conversation that can occur naturally as a child plays. It’s always amazing to me what children take in when you think they’re just playing. Play is a great learning tool for kids. There are many videos to watch. I also found good books. Check these out: Mighty Machines in Action: Cranes by Chris Bowman, Peep Inside How a Crane Works by Lara Bryan
• Look at pictures of the joints in your body. Your body contains many, many levers—wherever there’s a movable joint, there’s a lever below. Whenever you pick up anything heavy, your elbow acts as the fulcrum of the lever, and your arm bone acts as the lever itself. You can do experiments with the levers in your body. You can have a leg wrestling contest. You can play the game of stick pulling.
• Find other levers in your home. Perhaps you don’t think much about how you use mechanical advantage, but there’s no way you can go through a day without utilizing it in some way. Levers are everywhere; the light switch on the wall, for example, and the stapler on your desk. You use levers when you shift gears on a bike and when you hit the brakes. A doorknob is a type of lever.
• By the time people were living in cities, levers were used for many things. Take a look at a shaduf. It’s a very important tool for lifting water in many countries.
• Make the lever game I saw on television, then play it. Instructions below.

Breakaway Topics

• Study Egypt. It is theorized that levers were used to build the ancient pyramids in Egypt, so you could talk or read about Egypt. This is a new and interesting topic to share as a family. Do a bit of research and have some amazing dinner conversations. There are also great books you could use in your family reading time. Recreate some art. Google Egyptian art for kids, and lots of options come up. There are also many cool videos on Egypt for children. Why not have an Egyptian meal?
• Study Archimedes. The earliest surviving writings on levers date to the 3rd century BC and were attributed to Archimedes. “Give me a place to stand, and I shall move the earth,” is a remark he made. Here is someone to learn about, read about, or have a conversation at the dinner table. As with Egypt, Google Archimedes for kids and lots of age-appropriate information comes up. Some books to get you going: Archimedes: The Inspiring Story of a Genius by Reza Nazari, ARCHIMEDES: The Complete History for Kids: The Mathematician Who Changed How We See the World by Olivia G. Mitchell, and ARCHIMEDES: The Complete History for Kids: The Mathematician Who Changed How We See the World by Olivia G. Mitchell. Here is one to read as a family: Archimedes and the Door of Science by Jeanne Bendick (ideal for ages 10+). Mr. Archimedes’ Bath by Pamela Allen is a fun picture book for younger children.  If you have really interested kids, give this book a try: String, Straightedge, and Shadow: The Story of Geometry by Julia E. Diggins
• Study the pyramids. You could have a couple of books about pyramids in the living room. Look at them at the end of a family council, a family night, or an activity. Create a pyramid. Lots of ideas are online.
• You can expand your study of levers into the other simple machines: wheel and axle, pulley, inclined plane, wedge, and screw. Where can you find them around your home, in your environment? Can you make some of them? Talk about how they make life easier? Can you see how one spark can lead you to dozens of others; how just a bit of thinking time can give you weeks and months of ideas to work with.
• Learn more about shadufs. Show a picture of a shaduf, and share information about countries where they’re used. Find those counties on a map and learn about them. Make food from the country, see how they dress, what school is like, and what their families are like. Make a simple shaduf.

I understand that this may seem a bit overwhelming. Let me remind you that I took very little science and math in school, only what was absolutely required. However, I can look things up. I can think about them and how they relate to what I do every day. I certainly know more than a 4-year-old and most 12-year-olds. A mentor only needs to be a step ahead and moving forward. You are that for your children. You’re the expert in your home. You can sow seeds, build enthusiasm, and inspire.

Be brave. Give it a try. You may not have a shelf or closet where your kids or grands look for interesting stuff to engage with, but you can gather your family at a meal and introduce the topic. Then pick an activity and give it a go.

Families that learn and play together build lasting bonds.

Directions For The Leverage Game

The children playing the game were all about nine years old, but I could tell that with help, younger children could also make and play the game.

Take a piece of PVC pipe (about 4-5” diameter) or other material for the fulcrum. Use a flat piece of wood 2 ½ to 3 feet long as the lever. Tape a paper bowl to one end of the lever. Use a tennis ball to launch on the lever.

Use three hula hoops or other circular items on the grass, each marked with a paper sign as to its point value. The point of the game is to launch the tennis ball with the lever so that it lands inside the hula hoop with the most point value. Your children can experiment with moving the lever back and forth on the fulcrum until they find the length that will land the ball in the hoop of their choice.

Needed Materials:

• A piece of PVC pipe or other item for the fulcrum
• A flat board for the lever
• Masking or duct tape to secure the bowl to the lever
• A paper bowl
• A tennis ball
• 3 hula hoops
• Paper
• Markers

The closer the fulcrum is to the object being moved, the easier it will be to move the object – that is, the closer the fulcrum is to the object being moved, the less force is required to move it.

If your children are old enough to read or are at an age where they want to know how something works, add something from the internet explaining how a lever works, or a book from the library.

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A mom in our neighborhood has become a family friend. She has spent time in our home. She has shared meals, and we have had the opportunity to talk. She has observed our four-generation family, our little ecosystem, as my daughter calls it, from inside and out.

I Wish You Were My Mom

Not too long ago, she said, “I wish you were my mom. You’re the best mom. My mom didn’t share love; she was a stone.” This comment has caused me to ponder my past, my in between, and my now.

I, like Christy, had some challenges growing up. I was the oldest of nine with a mother who had been sexually abused for many of her growing-up years. Holding, hugging, and nurturing were not her strong suits when I was young. She fed us, got us places, kept us and our home clean, but she wasn’t present in many ways. I didn’t understand when I was a girl, but in the ensuing fifty-six years, I have come to understand many things. After I left home, I watched my mother grow and change. I watched her nurture my younger siblings and serve those around her. I love my mom for never giving up on herself, for giving me an example of change and growth.

She Only Knows the Person and Mother I Am Today

I could understand some of what Christy was feeling when she made her comment. However, as genuine as what she said was, I realized that she only knows the person and mother I am today. She doesn’t know that I was inwardly angry and that I raged. She doesn’t know I had a hard time with touch because I, too, had been sexually abused. She doesn’t know that tenderness and caring for people, more than projects, wasn’t how I began. She doesn’t know how much I had to learn and grow, how much baggage I had to let go of. But my children know!

One of the things that has given me peace about all the errors I made as a parent is that I know I did my best with what I had when I began, and that I didn’t rest there. Over time, I came face-to-face with my weaknesses and shortcomings, and I sought information and resources to help me understand how to change and grow. I wanted to be and do better. I wanted to give my children some of what I had lacked and stop giving them the very things that had wounded me as a child.

It was slow going. There were no computers until some of my kids were teens. There was the library, if you knew what book to look for. I had some neighbors and friends who shared what they had learned, gave advice, and helped me see what I hadn’t been able to see. We can only bring what we have until we gain more. We can only see what we have experienced until someone, or something, opens our eyes, and we see with new eyes. Then we must go to work. Knowing is not enough. We must then do, and that’s a long and often bumpy road. We must pray for and then watch for resources. They will come!

My Example Is Making a Difference

Monday was my 76th birthday. I received cards, and it was fun. However, one of the most meaningful cards wasn’t a birthday card. It was a thank-you card. Jodie wrote: “Mom, I broke out my new sewing machine the other day to fix Ben’s pants. I was able to thread the machine and take care of my son’s needs because you taught me how to sew all those years ago. I sat at the table, remembering, feeling grateful. Thank you, Mom, I love you.”

It caused me to think back, as Jodie had done. I taught my children many things. I taught them to sew, make nourishing meals, clean, put their space in order, garden well, and serve in their community. I gave them the living example of loving God, the value of prayer, a strong work ethic, the value of reading and study, being open to constructive criticism, trying when it was hard, and never giving up. Yes, I was a very good mother in many ways.

But I was unprepared in others. I was carrying a big bag of ‘stuff’. My children had to experience the ‘stuff’ until I could begin emptying my bag. In the process of my own healing and growth, I put ‘stuff’ in my children’s bags. Have all my kids been able to jettison the baggage I gave them? No, they’re still working on it, but I’m confident that when they’re 76, they will have made as much progress as I have.

I’ve watched them do what I did: forgive, change, let go, and grow. It’s been helpful to me and my own sense of OK-ness watching them. I recall, occasionally, when I feel old regrets surface, something my oldest daughter Jodie, said to me when she was in her late thirties. She reminded me that she was able to change a hard thing because of my example. My second daughter, Jenny, brings this up regularly and reminds me how grateful she is that I kept working on myself and was a mirror for her growth.

Many years ago, when I was a teen, someone I respected told me I would touch many people’s lives. I wondered what they were talking about. I was just a girl, liked, but nothing special, carrying my bag of ‘stuff’. All these years later, I can see that despite having so much growing and learning to do, I have impacted many people for good, even my family, who had to live through my growing up and cleaning out.

As time goes on, others will notice the positive changes we’ve made, even if they don’t realize where we started. But our progress will matter most to our children and grandchildren—they are shaped by how we continue to learn, heal, and improve. The legacy we leave them is not perfection but the example of real growth.

Take Heart and Do The Work

No matter how poorly you feel you’re doing as a parent, take heart. Keep pondering and looking inside yourself. Be open to seeing your weaknesses, and then begin working on them rather than beating yourself up over them. Parenting is never made better by berating ourselves. It’s made better when we square our shoulders, stand up straight, and move forward one step at a time, when we give ourselves grace. Look for resources, and they will come. Pray for help, and it will come. I’ve done all this, and it has helped me and my children. Am I done? No. We’re like onions; there’s always another layer to work on, and that’s good. Life stays interesting, and we keep growing.

No matter your mistakes or weaknesses, your example of ongoing growth and effort is the true legacy you leave your children—and it will be enough.

Here’s an informative article from my friend, Laura Pearson. She’s taken the time to dive into a topic that can seem tricky for parents. It’s an easy read, contains useful information, and has helpful links. I loved her section on Entrepreneurship. Most of my grands have had small businesses of one type or another before going to or completing high school, a great way to practice resilience and gain confidence. Enjoy.

Raising Resilient, Confident Kids: Practical Ways to Build Traits That Last a Lifetime

Parents don’t “install” resilience or confidence with one speech. Kids build those traits slowly through everyday experiences where they feel safe, capable, and loved while they learn how to handle challenges. The goal isn’t to raise a child who never struggles. It’s to raise a child who learns, over time, “I can cope, I can grow, and I’m still worthy when things are hard.”

A Simple Foundation

Lasting traits grow when kids get three things consistently: support, structure, and small chances to practice.

Praise Effort and Strategy, Not Just Outcomes

Kids who only get praised for results can become afraid to try. Kids who get praised for effort learn that growth is something they can control.

Say things like:
●“You kept going even when it was frustrating.”
●“That was smart how you broke it into steps.”
●“I’m proud of how you handled that, not just how it turned out.”

This builds confidence that’s based on learning—not perfection.

Teach Resilience Through “Recover and Reset” Skills

Resilient kids aren’t the ones who never get upset. They’re the ones who learn how to come back.

Help your child practice:
●Naming feelings (“That sounds like disappointment.”)
●Calming their body (breathing, movement, quiet time)
●Choosing a next step (“What’s one thing we can do now?”)

The lesson is powerful: emotions are real, but they’re not in charge.

Build Independence With Choices Inside Boundaries

Kids become independent when they get to make decisions—without being overwhelmed.

Examples:
●“Homework before or after snack?”
●“Blue shirt or green shirt?”
●“Do you want to talk now or take a break first?”

These small choices teach agency and reduce power struggles.

Give Them Responsibilities That Create Real Competence

Confidence grows fastest when kids contribute and see themselves succeed.

Age-appropriate responsibilities:
●Pack part of their lunch
●Own a weekly chore (trash, pet care, tidying a space)
●Help plan one family meal
●Manage a small budget for a project

Kids feel stronger when they’re needed in a healthy way.

Entrepreneurship Can Empower Youth Who Crave Independence

For some young people, a small business project can build confidence quickly because it gives them real-world responsibility, decision-making practice, and a sense of ownership. It can also help them discover strengths they didn’t know they had.

If your child wants to pursue entrepreneurship in a serious way, it’s smart to research the basics first—especially legal questions around ownership and business structure. You can start with the LLC age requirement where you live. From there, start framing things like:

●A business plan (try starting with a template)
●Marketing strategies (social media is a natural choice for most kids)
●Develop a budget (there are lots of apps for that)
●Financial arrangements (your bank might offer child/teen checking accounts)

Support Their Interests and Protect What Makes Them Unique

A positive self-image forms when kids feel accepted for who they are—not who they perform as.

How to help:
●Notice strengths beyond achievement (curiosity, kindness, humor, persistence)
●Encourage “their thing,” even if it’s unusual
●Avoid comparisons (especially siblings)

Kids who feel valued for their uniqueness don’t need to imitate others to feel worthy.

Community Activities Build Confidence and Resilience

Community activities give kids something every long-term trait needs: practice. When children regularly show up in a group setting, they learn how to cooperate, handle feedback, navigate social dynamics, and feel a sense of belonging—without everything depending on school performance. These experiences often strengthen self-esteem because kids see themselves contributing, improving, and being valued by others.

Ideas to explore:
●Team sports (soccer, basketball, swim team, track, martial arts). Your school is a great place to begin.
●Clubs and groups (scouting, robotics, chess, drama, choir, youth group)
●Volunteerism (family service days, food pantry sorting, park cleanups, community gardens)
●Creative classes (art, music lessons, dance, theater workshops)
●Interest-based meetups (coding camps, book clubs, Lego clubs, STEM nights at libraries)
●Community fitness (yoga for kids, family hikes, running clubs, rec center leagues)

A good rule: pick one activity that builds skills and one that builds joy—and keep the commitment realistic so it stays fun, not stressful. 

Teach “Good Self-talk” By Modeling It

Kids absorb how adults handle mistakes and stress. Self-talk becomes contagious.

Model phrases like:
●“I made a mistake—now I’ll fix it.”
●“This is hard, but I can learn.”
●“I can try again tomorrow.”

This quietly teaches resilience, accountability, and confidence.

Help Them Build Healthy Friendships and Social Confidence

Kids gain resilience when they feel connected. Make connection easier by teaching simple social skills:
●How to invite someone to play
●How to handle conflict respectfully
●How to apologize and repair
●How to say no without being mean

Social confidence protects kids long-term.

Fun Learning Techniques That Build Confidence, Not Pressure

Kids tend to learn best when it feels playful and doable—especially if they’re already carrying stress from school, social dynamics, or perfectionism. Fun learning techniques can make practice feel like a win instead of a chore, which helps kids build competence (and confidence) faster.

A few ideas to try:
●Turn lessons into mini-challenges: “Can you solve 3 in a row?” or “Let’s beat yesterday’s time.”
●Use movement-based learning: flashcards while bouncing a ball, spelling words with sidewalk chalk, math facts during a dance break
●Make it social: teach-back time where your child “explains it” to you in their own words
●Keep sessions short: 10–15 minutes is often better than long, draining blocks

A Quick Parent Checklist for Building Lifelong Traits

☐ Praise effort, strategy, and improvement
☐ Teach “reset skills” after big emotions
☐ Offer choices within clear boundaries
☐ Give responsibilities that build competence
☐ Encourage interests and celebrate uniqueness
☐ Model healthy self-talk and repair after mistakes
☐ Support friendships and connection

One Last Bit

Resilience, independence, and a positive self-image aren’t rare traits—they’re built through daily life. When kids feel supported, get chances to practice responsibility, and learn how to recover from setbacks, they grow into steady, capable people. Focus on small habits that repeat: effort-based praise, meaningful responsibilities, healthy choices, and consistent connection.

Over time, those everyday moments become the foundation for a strong life.

Today, let’s look at the fifth Principle of Power. I love all five principles; they all matter, but this seems to be the most challenging to implement. Many of us fly by the seat of our pants. Don and I did that in our marriage and family life for many years, and we paid a price; our family paid a price. Things go better, even if they don’t go exactly as we envisioned, when we have a plan. This is true in our goals, family discipline, maintaining loving relationships, having workable family systems, engaging in family activities, managing school, meals, chores, and so forth.

Principle 5

Plan ahead. Taking time to think about your family, your children’s needs, your personal goals, and all the things I listed above is one of the keys to success. It doesn’t take hours. What it takes is thinking and pondering regularly, making decisions, and then following through. If you’re thinking about a road trip, vacation, or a career, then planning is an obvious necessity. However, this applies just as well in our families. Whenever we engage as a family, it requires some planning. The principle of regular planning helps families manage better.

Part of planning is observing how your family operates. What interests your kids? What holidays are coming up? How’s school going, whether you use the public or private system, or homeschool? What’s happening in the world, and how is it impacting your family? As we think and observe, we come up with ideas on how to engage with our family. Then we plan, so we have success.

Try this:

Have a thirty-minute brainstorming session with your husband once a week or even once a month. What do you want your children to be exposed to, to know about? What have you heard them talk about in the last week, or what have they seemed to enjoy or struggle with? How are you doing with your current plan of discipline? What’s coming up that you might want your family to participate in? As you focus on watching and thinking, ideas will come about ways you can help your children manage what’s happening around them and ways your family can learn together, work together, and enjoy being together.

Another idea:

Have a weekly family council. See what your kids are worried about or interested in. What ideas do they have? What plans would they like to see developed in your family? What’s working in your home systems and what isn’t? How can that be adjusted?

Can a Simple Family Activity Trump Disneyland?

I worked with families daily for over a decade. I talked to children and their parents. I learned from these interactions that structured time, consistency, simplicity, planning, and parents remaining present make everything more special. This specialness trumps whatever the activity is.

When I was writing my book Becoming a Present Parent, I asked my children, their spouses, and some of their friends what the most meaningful things were they did in their family when they were growing up; what captured their hearts and remained with them into adulthood. I discovered that when we observe these five principles, even the most ordinary events become special. A daily family walk, playing together on the beach, or a camping trip can be as meaningful as a trip to Disneyland. What? You don’t believe me, do you? Check out the note I received from my daughter-in-law.

Kendra said, “Another thing I’ll always cherish from my childhood was the time my parents spent with me outdoors, going to the beach, hiking, fishing, swimming, and letting me be a kid. It was something we often did because it didn’t cost much, but to me it was the greatest thing ever. In fact, one time my dad took me to Disneyland, and I asked him if we could leave and go to the beach. I look back on that now and think that must have both surprised him and probably made him wish he had saved all that money. I’m so grateful my parents taught me to cherish experiences and nature over money and things.”

Kendra’s parents thought about what they wanted for their family. They planned how they could afford time together and how to make it happen consistently. They set aside time and kept their activities simple. They were present during these activities. Wise planning made the activity happen, and their children feel special!

These five principles are non-negotiable if you want consistent success in your family work and activities. In my experience, with all types of children and families, when you plan for what you want, structure time together, keep your plan simple and consistent, make the ordinary special, and remain emotionally and mentally present, you will be successful every time, even if all doesn’t go as planned.

Healthy family relationships and meaningful experiences are created when we set aside time, remain present, plan regularly, and keep things simple so consistency is maintained, and it feels special.

I love the Five Principles of Power (formerly the Five Rules of Engagement). I didn’t have them fully formed in my mind when I began working with parents and helping them connect with their children. I just knew what children needed: to learn well, connect, and thrive.

In the beginning, I connected the principles with education, as I worked with families who homeschooled. As I have transitioned to working with all families, regardless of how they educate, I have witnessed the power these principles have in not only learning, but in family systems, relationships, communities, etc. They are powerful when planning and executing activities, cooking together, sharing new ideas, adjusting family systems, doing chores, yard work, gardening, etc. When you utilize these principles, children will engage better in whatever you are doing.

The Five Principles of Power

1. Structure time and be consistent
2. Be present
3. Make it special
4. Keep it simple
5. Plan ahead

Last week, I shared how principles 1 and 2 helped me commit to and become successful in learning to meditate. Today, we will dive deeper. Then, in the next few weeks, we will learn more about the other principles. As you internalize these principles, you will see greater success in all parts of your life. This is a promise I can make based on my own experience. 

Principle 1

Structure time and be consistent. In other words, show up regularly. For anything to happen in life,  we must carve out time for it and then make a commitment to that time; we have to be consistent. It’s also helpful to understand that although we structure time so that the things that matter happen, we need to be flexible with what happens during that time.

• If you homeschool, you structure a time for learning.
• You might structure how Sundays are spent in your home.
• It could be family time on a given day or evening.
• You might structure what you want to see happen in the car while on a long trip.
• It might be a plan for the days of a vacation.
• It’s important to structure time and be consistent anytime your family comes together for a specific purpose.

Be Flexible With Content

On a vacation, you may all be doing the same thing, but there’s still flexibility. One child may choose to record the family trip in a journal, another may choose to take photographs, and another may not record anything at all. On a long car trip, parents may have audiobooks for the family to choose from. The family may sing songs together, but not chide the one who just listens. The point is the trip was planned, and then happened. The time was honored, but the content was flexible.

What If Something Goes Wrong

I received an email from a mom who took one of my classes, where I introduced the five principles. She returned home and structured time for family activities, but everyone came down with colds. She shelved the family time for a week, hoping all would soon be well and they could start again.

I raised seven children, and I know what it’s like when everyone feels poorly. However, when creating a truly magical and amazing family culture, structured time and consistency matter. So how do we keep to that structure when things aren’t going well, as in the case of a family with a cold?

My suggestion is to hold true to the time. If you have a once-a-week family evening activity, do it, but modify it. Gather your children around you. Have pillows and blankets, and people resting on the carpet. Give everyone a glass of juice or hot chocolate. Smile while drinking. Have a few moments of small talk or a prayer. Then call it good. The point is to be consistent, to honor the time. It allows your children to depend on it, to understand that family activities matter.

Illness isn’t the only thing that will challenge you as you work to honor time set aside for family. There will be days when you have made more commitments than you can manage. We all do it occasionally. When that happens, gather your children together, have everyone share a joke, eat a treat, and call it good. The kids may not like ending early, as they tend to come to love and depend on family time, but something is better than nothing, and they know it. Consistency counts.

Whatever you do as a family, honor it. Consider it sacred time with your children, so they know you can be counted on to follow through.

Principle 2

Be present. Being present means you’re engaged with your children; you’re in the same space with them physically, mentally, and emotionally. It doesn’t mean getting them settled and then going off to do your own thing. It means being together. You learn together, play together, work together, and have fun together. When you’re present, it helps with management and order. It does not, however, mean micromanaging everyone’s activity or efforts.

Being present is a gift to whomever we give it to. It’s listening without texting, answering the phone, checking email, or watching the TV out of the corner of our eye. Being present is being all ears and eyes for what’s happening now. Children and teens feel more secure and happy when parents are present.

Who Will This Work For

These principles apply whether you have toddlers, young children, teens, older adults, or even if your family consists of three older people. : ) Each day at lunch, we have a family activity – we listen to something that will enlighten and lift us. It’s easy to become distracted and miss most of the audio. It’s also easy to forget to do it. However, when we allow this to happen, after a day or two, one of us will say, “Hey, shouldn’t we listen to something?” Doing this as a family matters, and understanding the power of consistency helps it happen more regularly.

We also have an activity we do every Tuesday. It isn’t always easy to get up, dressed, and into the car, but we have been very consistent for over three years.

Then hip surgeries happened. We stopped doing the activity because we physically couldn’t get in the car or drive. Now we have healed enough to resume this activity, but it’s been hard to get back on the wagon. This is another reason that structuring time and then honoring that time, consistently, matters; picking it up again can be hard, and often you won’t.

When we set aside time to be with our family, whether it’s daily, weekly, or even monthly, and then make it happen consistently, it builds a sense of trust that blesses us far beyond the activity itself. When children can trust that we care and they matter, they are freer to come to us when they’re in need.

So, structure time and then show up consistently. It will bless your family.

Two Principles of Power

A mother who attended one of my classes in the early days of my teaching career mentioned that because what I taught was based on principles, she could go home and put it right to work. A principle is a fundamental truth that we can build on. There are five principles I have focused on in my life and career that determine success, or mediocrity, and failure in our efforts. In the beginning, I called them the Five Rules of Engagement. Today, I call them the Five Principles of Power. These five principles help us achieve greater success in our family interactions, relationships, communities, personal learning, and growth. I will share all five next week, but today I am focusing on the first two because I have a story I want to share: 1. Structure time & be consistent, or in other words, show up, and then 2. Remain Present.

Over the years, I’ve had many opportunities to practice these principles and prove their efficacy. A decade and a half ago, I decided to learn to meditate. Because of my penchant for movement, meditation was not easy for me to master. At times, I was challenged to keep my commitment to the practice of meditation. I had a friend helping me remain accountable, and I sometimes didn’t want to keep my commitments to her. This was partly because I didn’t feel I was making much progress.

She Hit the Nail On the Head

During this learning time, my friend sent me an email (I have adjusted it slightly for this article) that I want to share. It wasn’t easy to read. When we know something well and teach others, we want to believe we have it down. But that isn’t always the truth. Knowing and doing are two sides of a coin. She said, “Sticking with meditating daily is your commitment to a peaceful heart and life. You tell families that structured time is vital. You tell them they must show up and be present during that structured time. The same principle works here. If you show up as you said you would, the blessings come. Meditation is your personal structured time commitment. And you know that the magic cannot be preplanned, it happens when you show up.”

She hit the nail on the head. It is about showing up and staying present. It didn’t matter if I thought my daily meditation was successful or not. If I showed up and remained present, it was successful! That was a tall order for me, as I have said. At the time, I had a busy life. I was working full-time and building a teaching/mentoring career on the side. When I woke up I didn’t have a cup of herbal tea, and let my body adjust to its new state of awakeness. I didn’t stop to fix my hair unless I knew I was going somewhere that day. I would run a brush through it and say, “That’ll do.” My husband has often said that I am like a firefighter; the bell rings and I am up, dressed, and on the move in 30 seconds flat. So, sitting quietly for eight full minutes was a KILLER. And then to stay present with the meditating, to mentally nod at the thoughts that were pounding in my brain to be heard and gently usher them out without focusing on them, WOW, that was a tall order. Some days I wanted to say, “NO!”

She was also correct about the magic that comes when you show up and stay present. It cannot be planned, it just happens. Years ago, I shared the experience of a mom who let her kids make a snow swamp, which morphed into a volcano creation, which wound itself into the color wheel and creating colors, which led to colored toast art, and then flung itself into a soda fountain and counting change? That was a magical day for her and her kids. This magical family moment happened because the mom showed up and remained present.

The Results of Committing to Showing Up and Remaining Present

Back in May of 2010, I finally fully committed myself to show up and remain Present for 8 minutes of quiet meditation a day. I sat on a stool in my kitchen every morning, sometimes as early as 5am, to make it happen. I was reading the book Eight Minute Meditation by Victor Davich. With the book’s help, every week I practiced a new meditation. I finally found the one that worked the best for me, and as I said, I continued my kitchen meditation for several years. Then I made a change. I stopped meditating during the day and did it at bedtime. I have now used this tool every night for thirteen years. It’s made a difference in my level of peace. I go to sleep in less than 15 minutes, no matter how jumbled or troubled the day. I sleep better. I wake more refreshed. I have shown up and remained present, and I have reaped the rewards of doing so for over a decade and a half.

Remember that 90% of success is just showing up and remaining present. These principles always apply. They applied to my meditation, regardless of how I chose to do it. They apply to magical family moments, healthy relationships, successful home management, personal learning, and growth, etc.

So, choose to show up and remain present. It’s a choice.

The wonderful experience I had with my Colorado grands in the summer of 2012 is too long for one article, so I am breaking it into two parts. They are still longish, but this was such a fun experience, I know you will enjoy reading about it and possibly doing something similar with your children or grands.

A Chemistry Lesson on the Fly

When we had this adventure, Ashley was eight, Lizzy was six, and their little brother, Parker, was three. I asked Lizzy and Ashley if they wanted to help me put some family mementoes into my hutch. It was fun work and led the girls on our chemistry adventure because of something this job sparked in them.

As we filled the hutch, I told them the stories behind each item. Some of the last items they put into the hutch were crystals that my daughter Jenny had sent to me from Southern Utah. Ashley asked me what these cool rocks were, and I told her they were crystals from the desert. She then asked how they were made. I replied that I didn’t know, but that we could find out. I told her I knew how to grow crystals from sugar, and we would begin there.

We went to the computer and googled “how crystals grow”. We found an instructional video on growing sugar crystals. The girls watched it three times. Then they gave me blow-by-blow directions on what we needed to do. We mixed one cup of sugar and three cups of water in a pan and brought it to a boil. We added a few drops of food coloring. Then we poured it into two jars. We wrapped chenille stems (pipe cleaners) onto butter knives and lowered them into the liquid, and put the jars on the windowsill in the kitchen. Ashley wanted to know why we were using chenille stems instead of string. Wouldn’t our candy be fuzzy? I replied that I thought the chenille gave the crystals many small spaces to grow in, so they would grow faster.

While we waited for the sugar and water to boil, I realized this is also how you make suckers. We added some corn syrup to the leftover mixture (no recipe, just poured a little in) and set it to boil again. Then I taught my granddaughters what soft ball, hard ball, and hard crack were when you make candy. We tested the candy often so they could see and taste all the stages. When it reached the hard crack stage, we poured it into a buttered pie pan and let it cool. I told the girls this was called Glass Candy. When it was cool, we broke it into pieces with a small hammer. Lizzy said it did look like glass. I asked her what made it look like glass. Both she and Ashley mentioned that it had sharp edges, you could see through it, and it broke like glass. I asked them if they knew what it was called when you could see through something like glass. They didn’t know. We talked about the words transparent, translucent, and opaque. This part of responding to the spark of interest they had shown in crystals took about 35 minutes. Eating the glass candy was the best!

Ashley and Lizzy were keen to know more, so we headed to the library. As we walked, the girls looked at the large rocks people had in their yards and driveways as decorations. Many had small shiny bits in them. They asked if they were crystals. I shared the term mica, which is what they were talking about. As we walked, they created a game with each deciding if a large rock had shiny bits because it held crystals or mica.

Books Can Rock an Adventure (no pun intended LOL)

At the library, we picked out books on rocks and crystals. I read them a children’s book on how rocks are made. It talked about volcanoes and igneous rocks. It had information about sand and the shells of tiny sea animals, and how sedimentary rocks are made. It showed in very simple terms how metamorphic rocks are made. This information really caught their attention. They asked questions about everything and practically had their noses on the page to get a really good look at all the pictures.

They were fascinated with the fact that there was hot, melted rock inside the Earth called magma, and that sometimes it erupts from the Earth. Lizzy wanted to know what erupt meant. They were interested in information about what happens when lava cools. They were intrigued by the fact that when it cools, it becomes igneous rock, and sometimes, if there were people nearby, it left mummies. They squealed at the pictures of the mummies.

At home, we created some volcanoes with leftover play-dough I had. They turned out great, and we were able to get them to erupt using baking soda. They were proud to show their parents and younger sibling what they had learned.

Tune in next week for Part 2 of this awesome chemistry adventure.
It gets even better!

Sometimes something happens that dictates what you introduce to your children or grandchildren. That happened to me in 2011, when I was meeting with my grands weekly to engage in learning play.

Don and I sat on the balcony to enjoy the fall sunshine one afternoon. Right there on the deck was a perfectly preserved dragonfly. These happen to be my FAVORITE insect, next to the Cat Spider, which isn’t an insect. LOL A few days later, while I was walking to the car, there on the sidewalk, in plain sight, was a magnificent and dead katydid. Eureka, what an amazing find!!! You don’t see them often.

Naturally, I headed to the library for a few good books about insects. I knew that late October and early November are late in the season for finding many insects. I also knew that spring was the best time to teach about insects. However, I couldn’t resist sharing these magnificent specimens, and I knew I couldn’t wait until spring. So, insects it would be the next time I met with my grands.

When I got to their home, I asked Jack, Maggie, and Mary if they knew what insects were. They didn’t know the word insect, but recognized a bug when they saw it. : ) I asked them if they knew about dragonflies and katydids. They recognized the dragonfly but not the katydid.

We looked at the books and talked about dragonflies and other insects. When I came across the picture of the katydid, we came up with a prank that they could play on their Aunt Kate. I suggested that when their Aunt Kate came over, they could say “Well, how ya doin Katydid!” They laughed at that, and it made their day.

I asked the children if they had ever seen a real dragonfly or a katydid up close. No, they hadn’t. I asked them if they would like to.  Jack got a worried expression on his face and hesitantly said, “OK.” I opened my box of bugs, and he took a few steps backward. He put his hand over his mouth. He was afraid. I picked up the dragonfly and showed them the wings and the huge eyes, and where the eggs come out. We talked about the thorax and the abdomen and found them on the dragonfly. Jack stayed at a distance, but Mary, despite the look of concern on her face, kept edging forward.

I eventually asked Mary if she wanted to hold the dragonfly. She reached out, pulled back, reached out, pulled back, and reached out again. Finally, she let me put it into her hand. She was fascinated. She chatted up a storm, pointing to the head, eyes, body, and wings. She handled it so much that, of course, the abdomen eventually broke loose. Then the head came off. She almost ate the head, thinking it looked like a piece of candy, I guess. I tell you, you gotta watch little ones! : )

Of course, Jack couldn’t be outdone by his “not quite 2-year-old” sister, so he came forward and held the katydid, but he wouldn’t have anything to do with the dragonfly. Mary also held the katydid completely fascinated.

Maggie, who was 5 ½, would have absolutely nothing to do with any bug in her hand!!!! She was firm about it and never budged. She was, however, mesmerized by the books and pored over every picture long after the others wandered off.

Interesting Dragonfly Facts for Kids

• Scientists attached tiny transmitters to dragonflies to see where they fly
• They have 3 main body parts: head, thorax, and abdomen
• Their compound eyes have 28,000 separate lenses per eye
• They are meat eaters with strong jaws
• They have a 3-part life cycle: egg, nymph, adult
• Males live 24 hours to several weeks, females slightly longer, so they can lay eggs
• Males are territorial
• Very few eggs hatch because so many things can go wrong
• The Japanese consider the dragonfly a sign of good luck
• In America, we sometimes call them mosquito hawks or darning needles

Make a Dragonfly

We made a simple paper dragonfly craft out of graduated circles of construction paper, wiggle eyes, and pipe cleaners. They enjoyed that project and flew them before we hung them up.

Books About Insects for Kids

• Dragonflies by Sophie Lockwood
• Dazzling Dragonflies by Linda Glaser
• Bugs Up Close by Diane Swanson
• Insects and Their Relatives by Maurice Burton
• Insects by Liz Wyse – This is a fabulous book for older kids, showing them how to experience being bugs themselves by creating bug parts to wear!

It was a fun day. Jack wanted to keep the katydid and show his dad how brave he was. The dragonfly, by this time, was in many pieces, due to Mary’s fascination.

The Outcome of this Learning Play

What has come from all this bug handling and picture book learning? I am known as the ‘bug grandma.” All my grands, those that live close and those who are far away, know that I love insects. I find them wherever I go, pick them up, talk about them, and have helped my grands overcome their fear of them. Most still don’t like them, but they aren’t afraid. They have mailed me specimens in small jewelry boxes. They have carefully carried them in the car when coming to visit.

On this last 4th of July weekend, we had a family reunion. One of my adult grands brought me two June bugs that she found on the deck. She had picked them up without any trepidation. That same woman brought me a bug that I think was some type of cricket. It was fascinating.

One of my great-grandchildren picked up and handled a toad. They were all over the place. I held a toad, too. : ) When we share what fascinates us, we can instill a love of the same in our children and grands. When we pay attention to what is sparking them, we can kindle a passion for learning and personal growth.

Learning play is a wonderful way to engage in conversations, teach principles, and introduce children to the world.

Besides that, it is fun!!