Category: Family Activities

Learning Play – Chemistry Via a Child’s Spark – Part 2

Eating ‘glass candy’

Part 2

of the wonderful experience I had with my Colorado grands in the summer of 2012, as we embarked on our chemistry adventure.

The adult books we got from the library had hundreds of pictures of crystals with very long names. Ashley worked on sounding out dozens of them. We found an amazing picture that showed crystals that were transparent, translucent, and opaque. Wow, a follow-up to the ‘mini conversation’ we had had earlier. We spent a few minutes selecting items from the library that fit each description. Windows were transparent, colored glass was translucent, and the door frames were opaque (sorta).

We collect rocks, we wear rocks, and we eat rocks!

We saw a picture of a rock collection in an egg carton. Right away, they began discussing where we could go to find good rocks to make our own rock collection. The girls thought it would be fun to find the rocks and then figure out if they were igneous or sedimentary.

There was a chart in both the adult books and the kids’ book showing the softest rock, talc, and the hardest rock, diamond. They couldn’t believe there were ground-up rocks in body power and that wedding rings contained rocks. We read a book on the history of salt, which is a crystal. Ashley and Lizzy thought it was funny that we eat a rock, of sorts, on our food.

We were at the library poring over the books for about an hour and a half. When it was time to go, Lizzy said, “Grandma, shouldn’t we take some of these books home so we can look at them some more?” It was Saturday afternoon, a beautiful day. They were on vacation at Grandma’s. The neighbor girl they loved to play with was home. Yet here were a six-year-old and an eight-year-old diligently learning about rocks and crystals. They were absorbed in the information. It was fun. They LOVED it.

On the walk home from the library, the girls were busy searching the ground for specimens to add to the rock collection they planned on making. When we got home, our sugar crystals had already begun to form. It was exciting. We scooped a few out and sampled them. Yummmmm.

While I was making dinner, which was peanut butter and honey sandwiches, we noticed that the honey had formed some sugar crystals. The girls compared them to the crystals forming in their “sugar jars”. We discussed the fact that you can melt sugar and honey crystals by heating them, but that it would take a much higher temperature to melt quartz crystals.

Books over scooters. What!!

Later, I found Lizzy and Ashley sitting at the bottom of the stairs, looking at the books they brought home from the library. They had originally gone out to ride their scooters, but the books were so compelling that they never made it to the driveway. They were comparing the crystals in each other’s books, chatting away about the shapes, sizes, and colors.

When I went to check on them next, they had finally made it to the driveway and were buzzing around the parking lot on their scooters. Ashley hollered to me and said, “Grandma, we are finding crystals.” Lizzy asked me, “What are those people called who dig and look for rocks?” “Miners”, I replied. Then Lizzy said, “We could become miners, Grandma, and find crystals.” Ashley said, “I told her we could be scientists and study crystals.” Then she thought a moment, “Yeah, we could be partners finding and studying crystals.” I realized that their imaginative play that evening had centered on what we had learned during the day. When that happens, you know learning has been impactful.

Before bed, we read another children’s book about rocks, which reminded us of all the new words and facts we had learned. They were excited for the coming day. We planned to use the hardness scale and scratch chalk with a penny. Chalk is a 1 on the hardness scale, and a penny is a three. We had decided to collect 10 rocks for their new collection and determine if they are igneous, sedimentary, or metamorphic. The activities we accomplished on this special visit weekend could be spread out over several weeks for your children. It doesn’t need to take up an entire weekend. 🙂

The Result

This is the result you want when you see a Spark and respond. You want to see enthusiasm for the topic and excitement in the learning process. You want the learning to carry over into play and life. Recognizing a Spark and then responding are skills that any adult can learn. They facilitate a parent’s ability to inspire their children and help them feel excitement when learning new things. We had a wonderful adventure. It was fun.

They don’t know everything about volcanoes and how rocks and crystals are made, but what they do know, they will remember.

They LOVED learning some chemistry while making crystals!

A Series of Conversations – Learning by Doing

Remember that monthly call I have with my friend Joy Petty? We had another invigorating conversation I want to share. I’m no expert on this topic, but I have had experience with it. Joy is an expert.

Learning by doing is a powerful way to teach children. When they experience something new or exciting, it’s an effective way to absorb information and to learn. This can be helpful for those who learn best by doing rather than reading or hearing. We all have kids who learn in different ways. I love reading, but I’m also a hands-on learner who needs repetition.

What Kid Loves Shakespeare?

I’ll be honest, I never got Shakespeare. I took a class in my senior year, and we read Shakespeare and talked about it. I was as in the dark as before I took the class. A few years later, I saw the movie Romeo and Juliet, and my dislike for Shakespeare faded somewhat. I could understand more of what was happening. Reading Shakespeare wasn’t all that helpful to me, even though I am a reader at heart. (Joy would say that’s because Shakespeare is meant to be seen and heard!)

For the last 10 years, Joy has been mentoring youth through project-based learning experiences (with what she learned from LEMI, Leadership Education Mentoring Institute). These projects incorporate multiple kinds of hands-on learning. The first project was called Shakespeare Conquest, where her students became familiar with Shakespeare through many immersive experiences, including reading, watching, and listening to dozens of plays, giving presentations on Shakespearean life, and participating in a Shakespeare play at the end of the year. Trying to read and memorize Shakespeare’s lines was challenging, and some of them didn’t think they could do it. But through all the weeks of practice, they learned to speak the Shakespearean language and enjoyed it so much that they’ve put on a Shakespeare play almost every year since.

Joy’s own experience was similar to the kids. Before her training and preparation to teach the Shakespeare Conquest class, she wasn’t very familiar with Shakespeare, and didn’t see the point in spending so much time on it. She didn’t have the time or energy to care about Shakespeare until she began the project. As she immersed herself in it, she was better able to help the youth learn their lines and understand what they were saying. Only when she experienced it herself could she begin to understand how much we learn about human nature, as well as how much cultural literacy we gain from Shakespeare.

This was Joy’s experience with the kids she worked with. They didn’t care about Shakespeare until they began to learn the lines and perform them on stage. Being immersed in the story made ALL the difference.

In her work with kids, Joy helps them participate in simulations. It is a safe way to learn.
For example, when they were learning about the Civil War, they had a battle with Nerf guns. But one side didn’t have as many bullets as the other, and their supplies (the nerf bullets they needed to keep fighting) ran out much more quickly. They got a first-hand idea of how men would feel as they fought in battles without the necessary supplies. They had a greater appreciation as they studied the stories because they had experienced not having all the supplies they needed to win.

At one point while learning about the Revolutionary War, the students each stood in a bucket of ice water. They were talking about the winter and how many soldiers had frostbitten feet and hands. Their appreciation for what these men, and some women, went through as they fought for America’s independence grew exponentially.

For the past several years, Joy has put on a Youth Experience Summit, a four-day summer youth event called YES Week. The point of the event is to give the youth a safe space to learn through simulations/immersive learning. The YES Week website talks about why:

Learning Is In the Doing

“Simulations can provide learners with hands-on experiences, allowing them to actively engage with and better retain what they learn. In simulations, learning happens through experience. By immersing students in realistic scenarios, they have the opportunity to explore, experiment, and make decisions in a safe environment.”

“Simulations help learning stick. Research in education has shown that 70% of information retention comes from direct experience, which is why simulations are so effective. Students actively participate in problem-solving, critical thinking, and decision-making, leading to a deeper, more meaningful learning experience.”

“Simulations offer a safe space for mistakes. The process of making and reflecting on mistakes is crucial for deep learning, and simulations provide an opportunity to do so without real-world consequences. This encourages students to take risks and explore different solutions without being afraid to fail.”

Immersive Learning Doesn’t Just Apply to Shakespeare and History

Often, our kids miss these experiential/immersive types of learning. One reason is that we live in perilous times, and parents want their kids to stay safe. But we can offer them ways to have real experiences with what life is going to be like in safe ways. We can plant a garden and have them help put food on the table, literally. We can take them on trips to meet people unlike themselves, eat different kinds of foods, and experience different cultures. We can attend other churches. I did this in my junior year with my parents’ blessing and learned why I held the beliefs I did. We can help them participate in a sport that is new to them. My parents helped me try skiing. I knew it wasn’t for me because I had tried it. LOL

You can watch all the cooking shows you want, but to really understand and love cooking, you eventually must cook. You can watch others ride bikes for years, and you may enjoy it, but to feel the exhilaration of riding, you have to ride. When we experience what we want to know about and understand, through simulations or immersive learning experiences, we gain a depth of knowledge we might otherwise miss.

Understanding Money Management Through Immersive Learning

Let me share one way my daughter has allowed her children to have an immersive learning experience. Three of her kids are now 13, 15, and 17. A few years ago, she opened a bank account for each of them and got them a debit card. They talked about how debit cards are used and the consequences of misusing them. Then she stood back. Yes, they did overdraw, and when they got their weekly money, they had to use it to pay the bill. That hurt.

Here is what has happened in the last 3 years or so. Jack, who is 17, took a job feeding a neighbor’s horses twice a week. He wanted money in his account and access to his debit card. An allowance wasn’t cutting it, and after a short time, he could see the necessity of getting a job. He still feeds the horses, but now has a second job at a pizza parlor also.

Mary, who is 15, is carefully considering starting a nail business. She loves doing people’s nails, has lots of friends, and wants more money in her account. She has been using her money to purchase what she needs to do this work, and she practices. She did nails at our family reunion two weeks ago. She is careful with how she uses her debit card (her money) because she has a goal in mind.

Ben, who is 13, is still pondering his options. But it all began with experimental learning – what does it take to have and use a bank account and debit card? Just this week, he came and asked me if I had any jobs he could do. He needed to earn $15 for something he wanted. I gave him a job, paid him, and he deposited the money in his account. Then he was able to use his card to buy the item.

Immersed in Learning the Value of Preparation

When Don and I had six of our seven children, we wanted them to have an immersive learning opportunity with the idea of preparing ahead. They wondered why we had so many items in our garage that we didn’t use. Money was tight, and wouldn’t it be better spent on a new shirt or a pair of shoes, or how about a gallon of milk? They wondered why we had a propane stove, why we spent money on food storage for the future, why we had a port-a-potty, why they had to help in the garden, why I canned in the fall, and they had to help, and on and on. Don and I wanted them to experience why we did what we did as a family.

We decided to spend a full day and night pretending we had no electricity or water. Imagine that with 6 children. The port-a-potty was well used day and night. LOL. We cooked on the camp stove. Ok, that was not as fun as when we went camping, and we did get a better stove later. However, I was glad I wasn’t cooking on an open fire! LOL. It was late fall when we chose to have this learning experience, so they were all glad we had a propane heater. The only drawback was that Don and I didn’t know how to use it. We all got cold before we finally figured it out.

The next year, there was far less complaining about snapping beans in the fall, weeding the garden, being asked to manage money wisely, etc. They had experienced the value of what we were doing as a family, preparing for the unexpected.

Sewing and Immersive Learning

Here is another cool example of immersive learning. My friend Livia’s son got involved in theater at his school. He worked on sets and learned to sew and patch things. One day, he found a hole in his backpack. Because he had learned to sew while helping in the theater group, he fixed it and kept using it. He was proud of that backpack. Now, he will fix things even if he could buy something new.

Learning by doing, being immersed in the learning, is a powerful way for us to help our children move into a more prepared adulthood. Don’t be afraid to let them experiment in safe ways.

President Thomas S. Monson, a man I admire, explained: “God left the world unfinished for men and women to work their skill upon. He left the electricity in the cloud, the oil in the earth. He left the rivers unbridged, the forests unfelled, and the cities unbuilt. God gives to us the challenge of raw materials, not the ease of finished things. He leaves the pictures unpainted and the music unsung and the problems unsolved, that might know the joys and glories of creation.”

I loved this quote. It illustrates why we teach kids to ‘do’ Shakespeare, to experience money management and the need for work, the value of preparation for what may come, and how to make do because you know how, etc.

This summer, I’ve been rewriting and posting old articles from the days when I spent time helping my grands with immersive learning. You know the ones; they are called Learning Play. They fit in this category of immersive learning perfectly because when you experience something, it stays with you, and the learning can be fun.

Be creative and find ways to immerse your children in learning and preparing for life and adulthood.

Learning Play – The Nothing Special Day

Back in the day, when my grands were small, I did many learning activities with them. I enjoyed it and so did they. As I mentioned earlier this spring, I’m sharing some of those past learning activities with you because you can have as much enjoyment and fun with your children or grands as I did. Sometimes all we need is an idea, and then we can run with it. So here goes!

I don’t want you to get the idea that Learning Play always requires a lot of thought or special activities. Sometimes you just get together, play, and learn. It doesn’t always require fabulous, well-researched information. There are times when we want to kick back and rest while remaining consistent in our efforts to bond, enjoy, and learn. Then, there are times when an intervening circumstance requires that we do something that takes less planning time.

This activity was motivated by intervening circumstances, and I was tired. : ) I wasn’t going to stress out, but rather, have fun, join in a family activity, and be together. I didn’t do any big planning. I didn’t go to the library for fabulous books. I didn’t research the internet for crafts or projects. I didn’t have a wonderful topic in mind that I wanted to introduce to my grandchildren.

First, We Cook and Then We Paint

On my way to my grandchildren’s home, I picked up a package of biscuits. I thought it would be fun to make cinnamon snakes. When I got there, I announced that we were going to paint and cook. Jack replied, “OK, Grandma. First, we cook and then we paint.” So that is where we began.

There was no reason to make cinnamon snakes. I didn’t have a book on snakes or any intention of learning about snakes. I just knew that the children enjoyed cooking. So, we began our day with cinnamon snakes. I didn’t realize that rolling dough into a snake would take more dexterity than they had. It required practice, and an occasional snake hit the floor. When working with children, be prepared for a bit of dirt in the finished project! LOL

At that time, Don, my husband, was creating an air gun shooting range for himself. He had cut out several small wooden animals for targets. That was our painting project, painting Grandpa’s animals so he could put them in his range.

I gave each child a brush, a large piece of paper, and a wooden animal. We poured the paint right on the paper. When they were done and wanted another animal and a different color, we traded papers. Grandpa was very satisfied with the result. This particular range wouldn’t have his usual perfection, but it had memories and was fun to use.

I had discovered an old book, Where Everyday Things Come From, by Aldren Watson, in my home library. (Available on Amazon) It had no cover and had been read many times by children over the years. The explanations weren’t scientific, and the pictures weren’t precise, just fun. It told, in simple language, that the things we use every day, such as plastic, coal, glass, rubber, and electricity, can come from unexpected sources. The kids enjoyed the book.

I had a coloring page of a darling ladybug. I thought we would review what we had learned earlier when we studied ladybugs. No dice! No one wanted to color or talk about ladybugs. Not even Maggie, who loves coloring pages!

That was it. We had a fun time and enjoyed being together. We helped Grandpa out.

It was a peaceful Learning Play Day.

Learning Play – Inventions and Inventors

One day in 2011, I found the most amazing book at the library!!! I happened across it accidentally. It was about Leonardo Da Vinci and the amazing visions he had. But that wasn’t all. The book showed how, in time, all his inventive ideas were created by other people and who those people were. Oh my gosh, I wanted to share this with my grands.

However, it was a book with lots of words and way over their heads. I pondered what to do. My daughter suggested I help them understand what an invention is. Voila, a perfect solution to my dilemma. So that’s what I did.

The Creation Box

We had so much fun. I took my creation box, a cardboard box that I collect junk in – plastic ware, Styrofoam cups, old keys, buttons, wiggly eyes, toilet paper tubes, paper towel tubes, paper clips, popsicle sticks, washers, Styrofoam balls and cones, yarn, whatever comes my way that would otherwise be thrown out. I mean, a grandma (or mom) can use this sort of thing. : )

I began by asking Jack if he knew what an invention was. He said he thought it was a place to go. I told them that an invention was an idea in someone’s head that was then turned into something real. I suggested we look at some inventions. We looked at the pictures in the Leonardo Da Vinci book. I worried they would be bored because it was a bit over their heads, but they loved it! We examined the old drawings and how the actual invention appeared after it was created. I shared that Leonardo had people making his inventions move and work, but that the real inventions used electricity and motors.

Interested in Inventions

We looked at pictures of old TV sets and Philo Farnsworth, the inventor of television. The kids couldn’t believe how different they looked today, and Jack was enthralled with the name Philo. We looked at a book about the Day-Glo brothers and the brilliant paint colors they invented.

The children were excited about all these wonderful inventions. Then I asked them if they would like to make an invention. Oh my, then they were very excited. We sorted through all the items scattered on the table from the creation box and began putting them together. I had brought the hot glue gun with me because I knew, as little as they are, that regular glue wouldn’t work. Because of the ages of my grands, I had to do all the gluing.

Our Super-duper Rocket-propelled Robot

We blew up balloons first because they wanted balloons on their invention. When we began, they didn’t have an idea of what we were making, but as we worked, they finally decided we were creating a robot.

Jack’s “All Alone” Invention

The best part of the day was when a light went on in Jack’s brain. He saw the Styrofoam cone and a long tube. He put the cone on top of the tube and realized he had made a rocket. He was so excited about his own “all alone” invention.

We glued the rocket to our robot. Now we had a rocket-powered robot. It was a fun learning day, and they will remember what an invention is and that they may grow up and invent something themselves.

If you have older children, it would be wonderful to do this project and then study one new inventor each week or month, for the whole summer. There are all kinds of experiments, projects, and crafts that you can do to demonstrate and mimic what the inventors did. Get your older kids off technology and get them thinking. It will improve their summer. : )

Books About Inventions For Kids

  • The Day-Glo Brothers by Chris Barton
  • Neo Leo by Gene Barretta
  • The Boy Who Invented TV by Kathleen Krull
  • So You Want To Be An Inventor? By Judith St. George – A wonderful book about the traits of inventors, some of which aren’t valued, like daydreaming. : )
  • Now & Ben: The Modern Inventions of Benjamin Franklin by Gene Barretta
  • The Kid Who Invented the Popsicle: And Other Surprising Stories about Inventions by Don L. Wulffson
  • Brainstorm! The Stories of Twenty American Kid Inventors by Tom Tucker
  • Kids Inventing! A Handbook for Young Inventors by Susan Casey
  • Girls Think of Everything: Stories of Ingenious Inventions by Women by Catherine Thimmesh
  • The Kids’ Invention Book (Kids’ Ventures) by Arlene Erlbach

Inventions Made by Kids

Back in 2011, Allan Chu, 17 years old, invented a way to speed up the Internet! He was tired of how slow it could be, so he took matters into his own hands. He invented an algorithm that compresses data and allows information on the internet to be presented much more quickly. An algorithm is a step-by-step mathematical procedure that solves a problem, especially by a computer. Allan entered a math, science, and technology competition and won first place and $3,000! Quite an accomplishment for such a young person!

If you have ever thought about inventing something yourself, you don’t need to be a math and science genius to devise something clever. Have you ever heard of a Popsicle? Well, in 1905, an 11-year-old boy named Frank Epperson invented it. He accidentally left his favorite fruit drink with a stirrer in it outside on the porch overnight. When he awoke, the drink was frozen, and he found a delicious new treat. He went on to patent his idea and is the creator of the Popsicle, Fudgsicle, Creamsicle, and Dreamsicle!

Inventions are worth learning about and fun to make! Give it a try

and have some summer fun.

Learning Play – Stars

Summer is the perfect time to learn about stars because after you do a few fun activities, you can lie under the stars as a family, breathe the air, and stare into the night sky. What a relaxing thing to do. As I said a few weeks ago, this summer I am sharing some old grandma school times I had with my grands back in 2011. Bigger kids like helping younger ones, so even though these are simple things, you can do them as a family and get the older kids involved. Just don’t pick a Friday or Saturday night. : )

It’s wise to remember that no matter how WONDERFUL your plans for a family activity, some days don’t work out as you plan. Wouldn’t it be superb if all your family activities and learning moments were stellar (no pun intended), but they aren’t! In that long-ago activity, I made some classic mistakes and share them to help you avoid them.

Learning With Children – Stars

REMEMBER, when a child has an interest, and you don’t hear/see it, you will be in trouble. Last Friday, Jack was OK with the ladybugs I brought, but somewhere between the week before and last Friday, he had decided he wanted to make gingerbread. This is a Christmas tradition I began when my children were small, so he is familiar with it. In his young mind, it isn’t about Christmas. However, I showed up with ladybugs in hand. I told Jack I thought we could do gingerbread men the next time I came, but a week is a horrendously long time for a three-year-old, so his mom said they would make them on the weekend.

Tuesday, when I got to my daughter’s home, I had stars in hand. Jack met me at the door and asked if we were making gingerbread. They hadn’t been able to do it on the weekend. Jodie reminded Jack they were making gingerbread men after the activity with me. Jack was not a happy camper. If I had been wise, I would have scrapped the stars and gone to the kitchen to make gingerbread. The truth is that although we did wonderful activities today, Jack’s heart was in the kitchen. But your kids aren’t waiting to make gingerbread men, so you will love these activities. : )

We began by hanging a large piece of black construction paper on the underside of the top bunk. Then we made a very dark fort with blankets and crawled inside. I had painted stars with glow paint earlier. I think glow star stickers would have shown up better, but I didn’t have any, just the paint. As I have said, keep it simple and use what you have. However, the kids liked being in the ‘fort’.

I had painted the stars into the shape of the Big Dipper. It’s the easiest of the constellations to talk about. I showed them a real dipper and we compared it to the shape of the stars. We talked about how the stars were created and by whom. We talked about the size of stars. Jack was sure they were very tiny. We held a small rock up to our eye, and it seemed big. We then put it as far away as our arms would stretch, and it was small. I told Maggie, Jack, and Mary that stars were like that, big, but very far away. We discussed why you can’t see stars in the day; they are there, but the sun outshines them.

I didn’t have my usual stack of wonderful books as I hadn’t had good luck at the library. I only had three, and not the best, but we still enjoyed reading them.

Star Crafts for Children

We did two-star crafts. We made a star mobile with construction paper stars and pieces of straw. It was a pattern, so we reviewed the pattern…star, straw, star, straw. We used plastic needles to thread the stars and straws onto the string. That was fun. Maggie liked the activity so much that we made her mobile twice as long. The reason she liked it is that she is learning to use her thumb and forefinger to grab hold of things. It is a new and exciting skill for her, and this activity gave her lots of practice. (Remember, Maggie has cerebral palsy, and doing anything with her hands is challenging.)

Our second craft was called “Stars in a Bottle”. Plastic bottles were filled with mineral oil so the sequins would float. We glued the lids on because I didn’t want mineral oil spills. The star sequins were supposed to float in the mineral oil and sparkle, but they didn’t stay suspended as well as I hoped. It was fun anyway.

We had some shiny stars for a treat (Hershey Kisses) and read our final book. Then it was off to the kitchen so they could make their gingerbread. When I left, they were all busy measuring and stirring.

As I said, we enjoyed reading the few books I had, but I thought it would be nice to give you more options. Because our small library has a limited selection and I often need to order books from other libraries, I am working on getting four weeks’ worth of books. To assure our next few Grandma Activity Days are successful, I talked with Jack. He let me know what he was interested in learning about. Wise grandma! : )

Books About Stars for Children:

• How to Catch a Star by Oliver Jeffers
• The North Star by Peter H. Reynolds
• The Magic School Bus Sees Stars: A Book About Stars by Joanna Cole
• The Stars, 2nd Edition: A New Way to See Them by H.A. Ray
• Fancy Nancy Sees Stars by Jane O’Connor
• Mr. Putter and Tabby See the Stars by Cynthia Rylant
• Little Star by Anthony DeStefano
• Stars Will Still Shine by Cynthia Rylant
• Shining Star by Megan McDonald
• How the Stars Fell into the Sky: A Navajo Legend by Jerrie Oughton
• How Many Stars in the Sky? by Lenny Holt
• Stars by Mary Lyn Ray
• The Big Dipper by Franklyn Branley and Molly
• Stars by Steve Tomecek and Sachiko Yoshikawa.
• Zoo in the Sky: A Book of Animal Constellations by Jacqueline Mitton
• Our Stars by Anne Rockwell
• Star Climbing by Lou Fancher

As I said in the first Learning with Children article, being together as a family, doing something new and interesting, and letting the older kids help the younger kids, leads to great memories and family bonding, even if it doesn’t all go as planned.

So, keep doing it!

Learning Play – The Circus

Four of the finest clowns
in our fair city!

The Circus is in town!! Back in the 50s, that news brought a shiver to my spine and a smile to my face. I loved going to the circus. It was held outside in a large tent every year. There were elephants, trapeze artists, and lions being tamed. Everything smelled of sawdust, cotton candy, peanuts, and candied apples. It was an exciting event!

As I grew older, the circus changed. Long gone was the tent, replaced by huge arenas in large buildings. They seemed to come around less often. Children didn’t know as much about them, and they weren’t a yearly, long-awaited event that the whole town looked forward to.

I didn’t think any grandchildren I lived near had ever been to a circus. WOW! At the library, I found a couple of books and decided we would study circuses and then have one of our own.

What happens at a circus?

Who comes, who performs, do you eat anything, what in the world is a clown? These were questions we were going to answer in grandma school.

When I arrived at my grandchildren’s home (before we began sharing the same living space), Mary, who was 2, reached me first. That was usually the case because she loves immersive learning. She wanted to know what was in my orange basket! She delighted in pulling everything out. She found large glasses, boas, bow ties, and makeup. She was excited about all of it, but the boas. Mary was afraid of the feathers. (Years later, we got chickens, and she was the one who could catch them. Her fear of feathers was gone.)

Keep your materials simple

We began the day by looking at pictures of clowns and talking about who they are and what they do. They are funny, do tricks, and like to make people laugh. We decided to be clowns for the day. Out came the white face paint and lipstick. The white face paint was Halloween makeup I bought many years ago. It worked well enough. For red, we used what grandma had, lipstick. As I say, keep it simple. Then we tried on all the glasses, boas, ties, and other costume items. Jack fell in love with a hat and a bow tie. He asked me if he could have them. I said he could surely borrow them. “I don’t like borrow” he said, “I want to have them!” LOL

I hadn’t found many books about the circus at our small library, so I ordered some from other libraries. I never got them picked up before our circus day. That’s how it is in real life, sometimes we are on it and sometimes we aren’t! We managed with what we had, and I made a circus book. I found a terrific site of circus pictures, printed them off, and put them into a binder. (Jack, Mary, and Maggie used it until it fell apart.) It also made a great circus coloring book.

We looked at the pictures and discussed what was happening in each one, and if we would like to do that trick.

What We Did in Our Circus

1. Did you know that in some circus acts, they have dogs that dress up and do tricks? Well, Maggie, Jack, and Mary have a dog. We dressed him up to see if he could do a trick. He did! He peed on the floor from fright. We let him go and went on with our circus without him. It’s a good thing we still had clowns, us. : ) 
2. We decided to walk a tightrope. We used a rake handle for our tightrope. (The rake head helped the stick not roll.) The children loved walking the tight rope and did a good job. They were real performers.
3. We also decided to learn to juggle; throw one ball up, try to catch it, and run after it. Up, try to catch it, run after it. Then we tried two balls. We weren’t good, but it was fun.
4. We talked about what you eat at the circus, and then we ate popcorn and cotton candy. The cotton candy was a hit because none of the kids had ever had any. Mom had those hyped up kids for the rest of the day. Thank you, Grandma! : )

We ended our day sitting quietly and reading about a little bunny who went to the circus and billed his mom as the Meanest Mother on Earth! It was a funny book and a very fun day.

Later, the family watched Toby Tyler: Or Ten Weeks with a Circus. (I loved it as a kid, and their family did too!)

If you have mixed ages, including older children, then check out the non-fiction books. They could make a circus out of paper, draw a circus, or do some serious face painting. They could make a circus scene in a shoe box. Your older kids might like putting a family circus together with more acrobatic acts, bike riding, etc.

Books, Books, Books

Short picture books about the Circus for kids:

  • Secret Circus by Johanna Wright
  • Sidewalk Circus by Paul Fleischman
  • Circus 1-2-3 by Megan Halsey
  • Sing a Song of Circus by Ward Schumaker
  • Peter Spier’s Circus by Peter Spier
  • The Twelve Circus Rings by Chwast Seymour
  • The Midnight Circus by Peter Collington

Picture books with longer stories about the circus:

  • Clown of God by Tomie DePaola- This is where we got our idea for our clown makeup. A very touching book, my grandchildren loved.
  • The Day the Circus Came to Town by Melody Carlson – A story about making your own decisions and not being influenced by friends.
  • Little Rabbit and the Meanest Mother on Earth by Kate Klise – Find out what happens when you don’t clean your playroom!
  • Circus Ship by Chris Van Dusen
  • To The Big Top by Jill Esbaum
  • Dimity Dumpty: The Story of Humpty’s Little sister by Bob Graham
  • Tree Ring Circus by Adam Rex
  • Last Night I Dreamed a Circus by Maya Gottfried
  • Madeline and the Gypsies by Ludwig Bemelmans
  • If I Ran the Circus by Dr Seuss

Circus Easy Readers:

  • Circus Fun by Margaret Hillert
  • Hurry Up! by Carol Murray
  • Sawdust and Spangles: The Amazing Life of W.C. Coup by Ralph Covert
  • World’s Greatest Elephant by Ralph Helfer
  • Sara Joins the Circus by Thera Callahan
  • Millicent the Magnificent by Alice Bach – Millicent is a charming story that will help children appreciate the wonders of classical music.
  • C is for Clown by Stan Berenstain
  • Circus of the Wolves by Jack Bushnell

Circus Non-fiction books:

  • Juggler by Caroline Arnold
  • Parades by Eugene Baker
  • Face Painting by Clare Beaton
  • Jumbo by Rhoda Blumberg
  • Let’s Be Circus Animals by Kathy Christensen
  • Let’s Be Circus Stars by Kathy Christensen
  • How to Draw the Circus by Pamela Johnson
  • Circus Time: How to Put on Your Own Show by Connie Klayer
  • Horses in the Circus Ring by Lynn Saville
  • What Happens at the Circus by Arthur Shay
  • Clowning Around: Jokes About the Circus by Rick Walton
  • Paper Circus: How to Create Your Own Circus by Robin West
  • The Great and Only Barnum by Candace Fleming – Perfectly captures the spirit of an era, the spirit of the circus, and the spirit of P. T. Barnum himself.

For older children

Circus Junior Fiction:

  • Travelers By Night by Vivien Alcock
  •  Great American Elephant Chase by Gillian Cross
  • The Secret Elephant of Harlan Kooter by Dean Harvey
  • Jelly’s Circus by Dean Hughes
  • The Runaway Clown by Lois Johnson
  • Toby Tyler: or Ten Weeks With a Circus by James Otis
  • Tybee Trimble’s Hard Times by Lila Perl
  • Incredible Jumbo: A Novel by Barbara Smucker
  • Miss Know It All and the Three-Ring Circus by Carol Beach York

Our immersive learning was fun, and a few years later, they got to a real circus, and were prepared. When we help children by immersing them in the learning, they have a ball, and it stays with them. You can’t and won’t do this all the time, but what if you did something like this once a month for a family activity? Aside from having a ton of fun, you will build great memories and help children love learning.

It’s worth the effort and time.

Introducing ‘Learning Play’ – Cows

When I first began writing and publishing articles, it was in 2010. My grands, the ones I still live with, were all under five. As their grandma, I wanted to find ways to play and connect. I’m not a board game person! Tea parties and dress up are not on my list of fun things! The truth is, I like learning. I always have. I thought a lot about how I could ‘play’ with my grands and make it work for all of us. What I came up with was learning for fun. Every Tuesday, for several years, we would gather and play/learn. They looked forward to it and occasionally would tell me what they wanted to know or ask about at our next Tuesday session. It was a hit and was called Grandma School. : )

I’ve been moving articles from my old site to this new home for nine years, come May 2025. Why has it taken so long? Well, I always have new experiences and lessons to share. And I had over 600 articles on the old site. That’s a lot of rewriting. : ) Not everything applies or will be shared here, but there are fun things on that old site, especially when it comes to learning with kids and making it fun.

So, over the summer, I’m going to share many of the cool lessons I taught my grands and the tools I used to do it. If you have kids under eleven or twelve, it will give you summer fodder to keep them occupied and entertained while they learn and help chase away summer boredom. It will also help you move them from technology to imagination, a very good thing to do now and then.

Another Idea

If this is a family activity, then those over twelve can help those under twelve. You’ll be surprised how involved they get when they are doing the teaching. If all your kids are over twelve, then share these cool articles with someone in your neighborhood or family who has younger children or grands. At the bottom of this article are great resources for extended learning and learning for your older children. You’ll be amazed at the possibilities.

Using this ‘learning play’ with my grands created FUN times and built terrific memories. Enjoy, as I roll them out again.

LET’S BEGIN WITH COWS

The study of mammals is called mammalogy. This is a branch of zoology, which is the study of animals. One Tuesday, we studied a mammal – cows.

Jack’s first question on this Tuesday was, “What are we going to learn today, Grandma?” So, we played a guessing game to see if they could figure it out. When I finally said, “We’re going to learn about cows today,” Jack yelled, “Woo-hoo, Cows!” Kids are soooo easy to please.

As usual, we started with books about cows. We didn’t actually read the books, but we talked about the pictures and I told them fun cow facts, such as, “Did you know a cow has four stomachs. You only have one, but a cow has four!!” That type of comment is usually followed by a question such as “Why Grandma?” Then we get to learn a bit more. Jack’s favorite cow fact was: “Daddy cows are called bulls and they go Moo really, really loud.” I did such a great daddy cow impersonation that it sent Jack into gales of laughter.

Books About Cows

I know that many people have stopped using libraries, but I still do, and that’s where our great books came from. You can find stories, pictures, and facts online, but kids like holding books and looking at the pictures. So, in case you want to take a short trip to the library, here is a list of great books. They will give you lots of cool facts to share, and they have fun pictures.

• Cows in the Parlor: A Visit to the Dairy Farm by Cynthia McFarland
• My Cows by Heather Miller
• Milk: From Cow to Carton by Aliki
• Cows on the Farm by Mari C. Schuh
• Life on a Cattle Farm By Judy Wolfman
• Cattle Kids: A Year on the Western Range, Cat Urbigkit
• Cows, by Rachael Bell

A Cow Activity

After the books, we did a cow activity. I had created a picture sheet on my computer that showed cool foods that are made from cow’s milk: cheese, cream, ice cream, milk for cereal, cottage cheese, sour cream, etc. I also had the real item on the table, if we had it. We looked at the pictures, talked about each item, and then tasted it. Of course, we all liked the cookie dough best. (It has milk in it!)

A Cow Game

We created a fun game by cutting two copies of the food sheet into separate pictures. Then we played Memory. The kids enjoyed it so much that they played it with their mom and dad later.

A Cow Craft

We made cow door hangers, a very simple project, that I am sure you can figure out how to do from looking at the picture. But just in case you want directions or your older children want to make a talking cow, click here.

We had the most fun learning to use scissors. This was new for the kids. Jack tried it the traditional way, but then switched to using two hands and having me hold and turn the paper. Special scissors with 4 finger holes allowed me to help Maggie cut her own cow spots. She was thrilled. (Remember, Maggie, who is now eighteen, has severe cerebral palsy, so doing anything with help thrilled her and still does.)

If I am missing an item, I don’t run to the store. I make do. Simple is what made these types of play dates doable for me, then and now. We had large paper plates, but cut the smaller circle from tagboard. We had skinny chenille stems, so our tails weren’t as fluffy as the model cow’s, but no one noticed. We didn’t have any little bells lying around, so we cut them out of paper. I think our cow door hanger craft turned out every bit as lovely as the one on the web!

A Cooking Activity

We ended the day by making mac and cheese. Cooking was a favorite activity, so everyone helped. The kids liked tasting the powdered cheese. We had our mac and cheese for lunch, and it was delicious. Maggie, Jack, and Mary decided that having cows in our world is a very good thing.

Extend The Learning

While we ate our mac and cheese, I read a silly story called The Cow Loves Cookies by Karma Wilson and Marcellus Hall. If you want to extend your ‘cow learning’, then explore some of these other resources – easy readers and chapter books.

• Sixteen Cows by Lisa Wheeler
• The Story of Ferdinand by Munroe Leaf
• Kiss the Cow! by Phyllis Root and Will Hillenbrand
• Counting Cows by Michelle Medlock Adams and Mark Meyers
• The Cow That Went OINK by Bernard Most
• Donna O’Neeshuck Was Chased by Some Cows by Bill Grossman and Sue Truesdell
• George Washington’s Cows by David Small
• Moonstruck: The True Story of the Cow Who Jumped Over the Moon by Gennifer Choldenko
• The Smallest Cow in the World (I Can Read Book 3) by Katherine Paterson and Jane Clark Brown
• The Blue Cow (Sugar Creek Gang Series) by Paul Hutchens
• The Cow in the House: Level 1 (Easy-to-Read, Puffin) by Harriet Ziefert and Emily Bolam
• Mrs. Wow Never Wanted a Cow (Beginner Books) by Martha Freeman and Steven Salerno

Learning for OLDER Children

You can expand your study of cows and let it take you in new directions. These books would engage older children in learning about cows.

Cow books about math:
• Whole-y Cow: Fractions Are Fun by Taryn Souders and Tatjiana Mai-Wyss
Cow books about giving:
• 14 Cows for America by Carmen Agra Deedy. The true story of a gift from a village in Kenya to the USA after 9/11.
Cow tales from other countries:
• The Silver Cow: A Welsh Tale by Susan Cooper and Warwick Hutton
• Hamish the Highland Cow by Natalie Russell
• The Cow-Tail Switch: And Other West African Stories by Harold Courlander, George Herzog and Madye Lee Chastain
Cows in history:
• Dadblamed Union Army Cow by Susan Fletcher. The story about a cow that marched (clopped?) in the Civil War with the Fifty-Ninth Regiment of Indiana Volunteers, giving milk to the soldiers. Go here for facts about this book.
Cows in Art:
• Learn to Draw Farm Animals: Step-by-step instructions by Jickie Torres and Robbin Cuddy
• The Blue Rider: The Yellow Cow Sees the World in Blue (Adventures in Art) by Doris Kutschbach
Cows and English:
• Herd of Cows, Flock of Sheep: Adventures in Collective Nouns (Language Adventures Book) by Rick Walton and Julie Olson
Cows and a girl with Autism:
• Temple Grandin: How the Girl Who Loved Cows Embraced Autism and Changed the World by Sy Montgomery and Temple Grandin
Books about cows that aren’t even cows:
• Sam the Sea Cow (Reading Rainbow Books) by Francine Jacobs and Laura Kelly
• Sea Cows, Shamans, and Scurvy: Alaska’s First Naturalist: Georg Wilhelm Steller by Ann Arnold
Information about cows for kids.

I hope you take an afternoon or evening and learn about cows with your kids. I would love to see pictures and hear your stories. : )

Simple Systems Are the Solution

I have learned from lived experience that simple systems are usually the solution to difficult problems in time and life management. This was not an easy lesson to learn, and I occasionally still ignore this truth, but when I do, I suffer. 

A few years ago, I was praying because I needed help with time management to do the necessary chores, serve others, and care for my family. I also needed space to serve and care for myself. This is an ongoing prayer I repeat regularly because time & life can be a beast to manage. LOL

My System for Getting Up

During this season of prayer and pondering, I had a task on my daily list that I needed to accomplish by a certain time, and it was clear in my mind. As I went to sleep, I reminded myself I had this task to do first thing in the morning. When I woke up, the project came immediately to mind, and I got right up. It was a favor for my sister, Cindy. She needed an item in short supply that year that she hadn’t been able to find in her area. I needed to be at the store at 7 am to see if I could find it for her. I was on time, and my quest was successful.

The next day, I woke up just before my alarm went off, as I had the day before. I had the same list for the day but hadn’t picked something to get up for. I lay in bed for a few minutes, and the alarm went off. I thought, “My body is amazing. It knows just what to do. It always wakes up a few minutes before the alarm.” Then I dropped back to sleep. I didn’t wake up again until 7:30 and was bugged because my body had done its job waking me up, and I hadn’t done my part and gotten up.

As I said my morning prayer, it came to my mind that I manage better upon waking when I have chosen a specific thing to get up for. It gives me a reason to get up, other than just managing another busy day. They’re all busy!! Since then, I have filled out my daily worksheet and picked one item to focus on when I rise. That has worked wonders in assisting me, even when I would rather sleep longer. I know this experience was an answer to my prayers. It gave me the knowledge I needed about myself and a system to solve the issue. I love how God answers prayers. : )

A few months into this experiment, I didn’t get to bed until 10 p.m., which is late for me in the winter. I try to be in bed by 9:30 because winter and the lack of sun make life more challenging. So, good sleep matters.

I had chosen a specific project I needed to have done before 9 am, and it would take a couple of hours. This was what I would get up for. However, I didn’t hear my alarm. Fortunately, Don did and put his hand on my shoulder, waking me up. Before he could say a word, I remembered what I needed to do, and I was out of bed and going in seconds.

It reminds me of when I was writing my book, and it wasn’t going well.  As I prayed about the futility of the project, I had the thought to get up at 4 and write until I had to get ready for work at 7. What a terrible idea!! But because I had a specific task, I made it work six days a week for over six months! It wasn’t easy, but the planned task made it doable, and I finished and published my book.

I have gotten very good at using this system to assist me in getting up when I would rather sleep. It isn’t perfect. I have days when I forget to tell myself why I am getting up the next morning. Then chances are, I won’t. There are also days when I choose to ignore why I’m getting up. I always regret it! LOL Then there are days that I tell myself we are sleeping in, and it is OK.

Examples of Other Simple Systems

Example 1 – I wasn’t getting my scriptures read, my prayers said, my affirmation/commitments read, or writing in my gratitude journal some days. This matters to me, so I needed to figure it out. If I left the bathroom in the morning without doing these things, I would become distracted and wouldn’t get them done. As I prayed and pondered the situation, I began having interesting ideas.

I put my scriptures, gratitude journal, and affirmation/commitments in a basket in the bathroom. I hung my clothes for the next day on a hook so I wouldn’t need to go back to the bedroom. After dressing, brushing my teeth, and combing my hair, I would read a few verses, pray, read my affirmations, and write in my gratitude journal.

While experimenting with this routine, I ran into another problem. My glasses would be on the kitchen table, and if I went to get them, then distractions happened. Now I put my glasses on my desk at night, which is in the bedroom. Walking past the desk in the morning, I grab the glasses. It’s working like a charm; it’s another piece of a very simple system.

If I wanted to use my phone to read, rather than a hard copy, it would be an easy adjustment. I plug my phone in at my desk in the bedroom. When I get my glasses, I could also grab the phone.

Hanging my clothes in the bathroom, having my scriptures in a basket, and having my glasses on the desk in the bedroom is a simple system.

Example 2 – Filling out my daily worksheet the night before is another successful system. I dress and have my bathroom routine, but I also need to know what is planned for the day. What appointments do I have? Any special chores? Any service I need to manage? Stuff for Jodie, my grands, my mom, or Don?

Filling out my worksheet before bed helps me order the coming day. That doesn’t mean everything will get done, but it helps me recenter when disruptions happen. It keeps the flow going.

Example 3 – A year ago, I got a CPAP machine. After an evaluation, I discovered I stopped breathing many times a night. This is detrimental to brain function and not a good way to get the needed rest to manage a home and family.

An app. tracks how many hours a night the machine is used. At my follow-up appointment, I was on the border of qualifying to have insurance continue paying for my machine. I was only using it 70% of the time. Talking with my doctor, I realized the problem. I wake up a few times at night. I don’t have trouble going back to sleep, as I have trained my body. I often fall asleep so quickly that I don’t get the mask on. I needed a simple system.

I decided that when I awoke and took off the mask, I would place it in the middle of my pillow instead of at the back of the pillow. Super simple, and it has worked wonders. I’ll bet I have upped my score to over 85%. That is good for insurance purposes but even better for good sleep and a healthy brain.

Seriously, systems work. They help solve problems like mine: how to make myself get up, how to manage time better, how to fit in the things that normally get buried under home and family management, how to keep going when disruptions happen, and how to have a healthier brain.

I want you to see that simple systems can be very effective. I also want you to understand what a system looks like. I didn’t for many years. I thought they were complicated ways of managing big stuff. Systems in corporations, businesses, or medicine can be complex, and most of us view the term ‘system’ in this light. I want to expand your view of what a system is. It is nothing more than figuring out a consistent way to get something accomplished – dishes, laundry, meals on the table, getting kids up on a school morning, making time for yourself, getting to bed on time, getting your personal study done, etc. They all require a planned and not a default system.  When you create a plan and consistently use it, you will have systems that work.

It will be life-changing!

A Simple and Peaceful Holiday Celebration

In 2011 I wrote a three-part series of articles about a principle that helps families manage better. I must confess it’s a principle I still work on because it isn’t easy to keep. I know the stories and the principle are worth repeating because principles never change and when lived, they impact us for good. I’m compiling the three-part series into one article. That will keep it simple for you. LOL

A Simple and Peaceful Holiday Celebration

I believe that intentionally keeping things simple is a principle that leads to peace. I want to share how my husband, Don, and I used this principle in 2011 to have that peace. We decided we weren’t going to spend any money. You heard right, no money (except for shipping.) We would have to give it some thought to bring it about. Also, we were going to be picky about what events we joined in.

We did well at keeping our decision. We did spend a little over $20 on three children, bought some cookie-making ingredients, and Don cheated and bought me a book. He knows I love books. LOL

How This Decision to Simplify Brought Us Peace

We only went shopping once, for forty minutes. Not shopping was an amazing experience. It gave us more time to be together. We spent time each evening curled up on our sofa reading Christmas stories and drinking hot cocoa. It was wonderful. We didn’t have to fight traffic, or crowds, or worry about accumulating debt. That was very freeing.

We sent our grown children books, which we selected out of our personal library. We choose what would be meaningful to them, would help them in some way, or that they would love reading. Our sons, like their dad, are not readers, but Don loves coffee table books, and we knew the boys would too. We also sent mementos of the past that we felt would bring joy and touch the hearts of our children.

What Happened For Two of Our Sons

We sent Seth a karate gee he wore when he was nine. He told me how fun it was to receive because it still fit. He said, “The legs and sleeves are short, but it fits.” He was in his 30’s at the time. He was glad to know that the gee still existed, and he now had it. He loved the gift.

We sent Andrew a Christmas plaque that had hung in our home since the year he was born. I made it and it was a homely little thing. His sister, Jenny, who roomed with him at the time, said when he opened his gift, his eyes got tearful. He said it was a ‘cool’ present and he thought Jenny was a tad jealous. : )

How Did We Do with the Grands

I worried about how our grandchildren would feel about their gifts. To one family, with four children, we sent ten envelopes, each containing a picture or story and six small pieces of candy. Each story or picture had something to do with the Christmas season and its purpose. It was just paper and a few bits of candy. Yet when I asked Marie what the children thought she replied, “They were so excited.” Aubrey, who was eleven said, “We have the best grandma and grandpa in the whole world”. This from an almost teenager!

The grands all loved whatever they got. It didn’t matter if it was large or small. Not one was disappointed that money hadn’t been spent.

Going the Extra Mile and Not Going

For the 21 years we lived in Laurel, MT. my best friend, Linda Brannon, would bring us a HUGE platter of assorted cookies. Because we had seven children, she didn’t bring a token plate, she brought a platter. It was the highlight of the season for our kids, even though I was a baker. LOL For Linda it was a labor of love, and our children knew she loved our family.

About a week before Christmas in 2011, Jodie, my oldest daughter, mentioned she felt nostalgic about those cookies. I decided I would recreate the experience for her as a special gift. I took one Saturday and baked up a storm. Then Don and I gifted the cookies to her.

Later she told me this story. Her husband had been feeling a bit down. He didn’t have the Christmas spirit. Both of Doug’s parents are deceased. Jodie said that when the cookies came into their home his entire countenance changed. He became animated, happy, and full of joy. I think it reminded him of his mother and home.

I decided to have another baking day to give more cookies to other families. In the moment of that thought I had a clear impression, “LET IT GO, it isn’t necessary.” I followed that thought and spent the day loving and being present with my family instead.

And What About Mom?

I wanted to do something special for my mom, she was 80 and lived alone. She had everything she needed as far as worldly possessions. Here is what she didn’t have, the sure knowledge that she has done a good job as a parent even though it ought to be obvious to her. But mothers do this, they worry about what they didn’t do and undervalue what they do.

I pondered what to give her. I had an idea I am sure was from God. It was to write her a letter. I even had thoughts about what to say. I sat down and wrote a nice letter. When I prepared to mail it, I felt, “No, it isn’t done.” I STOPPED and thought about it some more. Then I spent the next five hours rewriting the letter. It took a lot longer than I had anticipated. I dug through old papers and found the poems she had written to accompany her gifts to us.  For example, one year she sent a HUGE box of homemade caramel corn with this poem. 

A Kernel of Love

Sometimes all you can do is not very much

For reasons hard to define.

Yet you’d like to do “oh so many things”

To make everything “just fine”.

This package is all I have to offer

To show how much we care.

But every kernel is a bit of love

And the sweet is the love we share.

May you remember the things we’ve done,

With fondness, with each tasty bite.

And maybe somehow, we can join our souls,

And everything “Will Be Alright”!   

by NaVon Cazier

This was one of our children’s favorite gifts that year. I ended the letter with this:

“All the years of my growing up you demonstrated to me how to live gracefully and abundantly no matter what was happening. I think this has been an amazing gift and has made it possible for me to do the same. All I can give you this year Mom, is my love and gratitude for a mother who lived fully despite lots of kids, no money, no car, and you being alone a lot of the time. It has made all the difference in my life. I love you so much. Merry Christmas.”

One Final Story from Our Christmas of Peace Experiment

My father was an educator. He developed a testing device to find learning disabilities in children and spent many years working with them. However, in his heart of hearts, he was a restaurateur. We always had a drive-in or restaurant of some kind.

He was also a preparer, preparing for what might happen in life. He loved storing food, blankets, water, you name it. When he passed away, we had a basement of ‘stuff’ to sift through. One of the things we found was a box of bagged nutmeg. We are talking pounds of nutmeg! After my five sisters took what they wanted I came home with about 40 pounds of the spice.

As we contemplated what we could do to show our friends, neighbors, and church members our appreciation for their friendship over the years we had an idea. We bagged the nutmeg into ¼ pound bags and tied them to four delicious and delightful nutmeg cookie recipes.

As Kate, our one remaining child at home, and I bagged nutmeg, I felt my father was with us, was happy we hadn’t thrown the nutmeg away, and happy that we were putting it to good use. When we had made over 100 gift bags to share, I had about 6 pounds left. Then I had this distinct impression: “Save the rest. You can barter it.” Good grief, that was so my dad. : )

What About the Parties?

We decided not to attend everything that came along. We were going to be picky about where and when we celebrated. We attended Don’s work party, and one church party, went to Temple Square with my youngest daughter’s future in-laws, and spent time in the homes of family. That was it.

I really do believe that keeping things simple brings peace whether we’re talking about family schedules, how we prepare our homes or yards, birthdays, our work, or the gifts we give at Christmas. It’s paramount to remember what is important. Keeping it Simple, is vital to peace of mind, doing what is needed, and making way for good things to come into our lives.

What I am not saying is that we shouldn’t shop, buy gifts, attend parties, or cook for a week, if that is what we are moved to do. What I am saying is that it’s important to avoid unrealistic expectations from ourselves and others. It’s important to avoid needless busyness. It’s important to determine what is most needful and let the rest go.

Because Don and I made an intentional pact To Keep It Simple, we got what we needed and gave our family what they needed. It was a remarkable season. The sense of peace and joy came from doing less and not from doing it all. The whole point of the decision that Don and I made in 2011 was to live the principle of keeping it simple and peaceful. Our intentional efforts paid dividends.

May each of you have a simpler and more peaceful holiday season. I plan to do the same.

Intentionally keeping things simple will help us feel and be more successful.

How Can We Consitently Say – You Are in My Thoughts, You Matter to Me?

I have a short list of thoughts/ideas I’m pondering. This list keeps important objectives at the front of my mind lest I forget. : )

In October I wrote this on the list – “How can I strengthen my relationship with each grandchild and great-grandchild despite age, technology, or distance.” There are impediments of time, finances, the ability to travel, different lifestyles, and beliefs, kids who are adults or teens, and technology, which often gets in the way of real connection.

With the grands I live with, I have been consistently doing things I taught parents over a decade ago – random touch, active listening, smiling, stopping, and looking at them when they’re talking to me. They’re all teens now and crafts, reading aloud, or chasing through the house have ended. Bummer!

Technology, despite texting, can get in the way of real connection. Recently, when I picked her up from school, my 14-year-old granddaughter asked me how I felt about the election, and we had a good conversation. SCORE! Today when I picked her up from school, she shared something that’s coming up in her life that she’s excited about. SCORE! My ten-year-old advice is making a difference in our relationship!

I’ve lived with these grands for over fourteen years, and I miss the fun we had when they were little, and despite their being teens, I want to do something fun with them now. I had an idea last week that I have been mulling over – “This Nov. throw a cookie party. Invite the kids and their friends. Send an invitation and ask them to RSVP. Then set them up to bake and decorate a few kinds of cookies that they take home.” I have decided to follow through on this idea. Their mom, Jodie, when asked, said they might not RSVP. It may be just me. : ) It will be an experiment. However, if it goes off well, it will be a connection moment, a memory maker, and fun. I will let you know how it goes.

Most of my grands live far away and I see them once every two years at our family reunion, which is always a huge success and so much fun. But once every two years isn’t much. I text those with phones and they respond. I ask questions and they answer, but texting isn’t all that fun or meaningful. Phone calls with the adult grands occasionally work, but they’re busy and often on the run. So am I! Nevertheless, I have each name on a list and reach out in one way or another each month. 

Phone calls with the younger grands have been a bust even when we use apps that let us see one another. They only connect for a few minutes and then are off. It doesn’t hold their attention long, so we quit doing it a few years ago.

Despite that, my youngest daughter and I have decided to have a face-to-face conversation with her three kids once a month, ages 12, 8, and 5. We know it will be short, but once a month, for five/ten minutes, beats once every two years. 

Gifts, although loved by kids, are not the same as connecting no matter how amazing or expensive. I know this from experience. My mom’s parents divorced when she was three. She rarely got to see her biological mom and by the time she was an adult, didn’t want to. However, Grandma Walker sent us gifts every birthday and Christmas. I loved her for it but never saw her until I was an adult, and then only twice. I missed having a relationship. I wish we had talked on the phone or been able to see each other, even if only once every two years. I should have made more effort, but you don’t know what you don’t know.

A few weeks ago, I made a call to my WA. Grands, Grandma Liesl, to see how they make it work. Her husband is a pilot, so they are lucky and can visit a few times a year. She had great reminders for me.

The First Reminder

When I am in WA, I do bed duty. I read a chapter in a book to my three grands and ask two questions – what is the best thing that happened today and what was hard? That leads to interesting if short, conversations. As I thought about it, I realized I could do this on the monthly call we’re instituting. Talking to Liesl got me to visit with Kate about the possibility. As I mentioned, we are returning to a call a month and will take whatever we can get from it, short or long.

The Second Reminder

When I was a mom of seven, I would occasionally write letters to my kids, even when they lived at home. Some of them kept the letters for years. I could say how much and why I loved them, and they could read and reread. I continued to do this when they were grown, until recently.

Since my first grandchild was born, I have sent cards with notes and real letters to all my grands. I would stick a piece of gum inside and became known as the Gum Grandma. Then one of my peers  told me nobody cares about cards and letters anymore and I wasted my time and money. I reached out to my readers and got a far different story from them. I kept it up for a few more years.

But technology kept advancing and I worried that this way of connecting had become outdated. For the last year or so I stopped doing it. Liesl reminded me that our mutual grands LOVE my letters and cards. She reminded me that they hang them on their walls. She said, “When I am there, they tell me you’re the Gum Grandma.” I had to laugh because they told me she was the Dancing Grandma. They put on music and dance. : )

Then Liesl shared what one of her adult kids, Curtis, said recently. “When you only send cards and not letters, I can’t reread them.” What, this from a grown man who uses all the available tech? He wants letters from his mom so he can reread them!

I am returning to my retro ways. I’m going to send cards and letters to my CA. Grands, and my CO. Grands and Great-grands. They, like my WA. Grands, care about them, even those who are teens or adults. (P.S. My daughter Kate reminded me to keep the letters short. LOL)

As I pondered this idea of connecting, I had a splendid idea on one of my daily walks. The idea was to include an anecdote from my life, Don’s, or my mother’s life in each card or letter. I know that hearing my stories will bond us over time. This will be meaningful to my family. When I share a school experience I had, some will relate, whether it was happy or sad. If I share a change I made, something scary I dealt with, or how I grew, it will plant a seed for them.

As I mentioned in an article called My Magnificent Birthday Gift on 2-28-21, if we give it all we’ve got as parents or grandparents, learn a little here and a bit more there, and then implement; if we remain consistent and speak kindly to ourselves as we change and grow, then it will be enough. As our children and grands watch us and observe our progress, we will give them a legacy to follow. There isn’t much that we can provide that is more powerful.

As my granddaughter Mary, who is almost 15, said a few years ago and repeated just this month, “Grandma, you and I are alike.” She was telling me about middle school. Then she said, “You were like that too, right grandma.” She remembered a story I told her when she first entered these hard years. Knowing that we are alike has given her heart. As she watches me, it is confirmed to her that if Grandma could manage middle school and remain herself, so can I.

Whether you’re a parent or grandparent, other relative, or friend/neighbor, we all have children we want to connect with. Some are close and others are far away. Some are small, some are teens, and some are adults, but as we saw in Curtis’s comment to his mom, they want to connect with us because they learn from us and feel our love. If you are close or far away from your children or grands find a way to connect consistently, whether the method is old-fashioned or more mainstream. What they take away from your efforts is an example of growth and that they mean something to you!

It will matter. It will say, you are in my thoughts, you are loved, you matter to me!