Two Principles of Power
A mother who attended one of my classes in the early days of my teaching career mentioned that because what I taught was based on principles, she could go home and put it right to work. A principle is a fundamental truth that we can build on. There are five principles I have focused on in my life and career that determine success, or mediocrity, and failure in our efforts. In the beginning, I called them the Five Rules of Engagement. Today, I call them the Five Principles of Power. These five principles help us achieve greater success in our family interactions, relationships, communities, personal learning, and growth. I will share all five next week, but today I am focusing on the first two because I have a story I want to share: 1. Structure time & be consistent, or in other words, show up, and then 2. Remain Present.
Over the years, I’ve had many opportunities to practice these principles and prove their efficacy. A decade and a half ago, I decided to learn to meditate. Because of my penchant for movement, meditation was not easy for me to master. At times, I was challenged to keep my commitment to the practice of meditation. I had a friend helping me remain accountable, and I sometimes didn’t want to keep my commitments to her. This was partly because I didn’t feel I was making much progress.
She Hit the Nail On the Head
During this learning time, my friend sent me an email (I have adjusted it slightly for this article) that I want to share. It wasn’t easy to read. When we know something well and teach others, we want to believe we have it down. But that isn’t always the truth. Knowing and doing are two sides of a coin. She said, “Sticking with meditating daily is your commitment to a peaceful heart and life. You tell families that structured time is vital. You tell them they must show up and be present during that structured time. The same principle works here. If you show up as you said you would, the blessings come. Meditation is your personal structured time commitment. And you know that the magic cannot be preplanned, it happens when you show up.”
She hit the nail on the head. It is about showing up and staying present. It didn’t matter if I thought my daily meditation was successful or not. If I showed up and remained present, it was successful! That was a tall order for me, as I have said. At the time, I had a busy life. I was working full-time and building a teaching/mentoring career on the side. When I woke up I didn’t have a cup of herbal tea, and let my body adjust to its new state of awakeness. I didn’t stop to fix my hair unless I knew I was going somewhere that day. I would run a brush through it and say, “That’ll do.” My husband has often said that I am like a firefighter; the bell rings and I am up, dressed, and on the move in 30 seconds flat. So, sitting quietly for eight full minutes was a KILLER. And then to stay present with the meditating, to mentally nod at the thoughts that were pounding in my brain to be heard and gently usher them out without focusing on them, WOW, that was a tall order. Some days I wanted to say, “NO!”
She was also correct about the magic that comes when you show up and stay present. It cannot be planned, it just happens. Years ago, I shared the experience of a mom who let her kids make a snow swamp, which morphed into a volcano creation, which wound itself into the color wheel and creating colors, which led to colored toast art, and then flung itself into a soda fountain and counting change? That was a magical day for her and her kids. This magical family moment happened because the mom showed up and remained present.
The Results of Committing to Showing Up and Remaining Present
Back in May of 2010, I finally fully committed myself to show up and remain Present for 8 minutes of quiet meditation a day. I sat on a stool in my kitchen every morning, sometimes as early as 5am, to make it happen. I was reading the book Eight Minute Meditation by Victor Davich. With the book’s help, every week I practiced a new meditation. I finally found the one that worked the best for me, and as I said, I continued my kitchen meditation for several years. Then I made a change. I stopped meditating during the day and did it at bedtime. I have now used this tool every night for thirteen years. It’s made a difference in my level of peace. I go to sleep in less than 15 minutes, no matter how jumbled or troubled the day. I sleep better. I wake more refreshed. I have shown up and remained present, and I have reaped the rewards of doing so for over a decade and a half.
Remember that 90% of success is just showing up and remaining present. These principles always apply. They applied to my meditation, regardless of how I chose to do it. They apply to magical family moments, healthy relationships, successful home management, personal learning, and growth, etc.
