Category: Holidays-Seasons

Rolling Stones, the Fourth of July, and Family Traditions

Happy Fourth of July from Laurel, Montana

I grew up with a rolling stone, my dad. He liked to move and was forever looking for new ideas and new opportunities. He and my mom had nine children but until they hit number 9 they moved around quite a bit. I went to half a dozen grade schools and three high schools. I finished my high school career in a new school, in a new state. Who in the heck does that!!! Well, those were the days when if mom and dad moved ALL the kids moved too.

My husband grew up in the same town, Aurora, CO, all his life. He did live in two homes and that was a BIG move for his family. When we married my rolling stone nature rubbed off I guess and for the first ten years of our married life we moved alot; to college, to work, to college, to work, to college…you get the picture.

Then we moved to Montana and lived in three different homes until we landed in Laurel. That was a turning point for us, and we found ourselves planted for twenty-one years. For me, that was an amazing experience, to be in one place for twenty-one years. I liked the feeling of having roots, of belonging someplace.

Laurel, MT. a railroad town filled with refineries.

Laurel was a small town and while we lived there it grew to 10,000. You could cross it from one side to the other in about five minutes.

There are some real advantages to small town living. One day I got a call from the bank. “Mary Ann, we have a check here from a casino in _______ and we’re pretty sure that you didn’t write it.” My checkbook had been stolen. That call saved me lots of money and frustration.

As a girl, I had never learned how to balance a checkbook. So, one day when I was in a huge mess I visited the bank with a stack of about 12 check registers and asked for some help. The sweet woman that I talked with took my stack of check registers home, balanced the whole thing and then taught me how to do it every month. Cost, exactly zip!!!

I had seven children and they caught lots of illness over the years. Ear infections were common, as were sore throats. I would call my trusty general practitioner (there are no specialists in small towns) and say, “Robert, Marie isn’t feeling well and has a green runny nose. I’m sure she has an ear infection. Will you call something in?” “Sure Mary. You’ve seen enough ear infections to know”. As I said, small town living has its advantages!

Laurel swells from 10,000 to 30,000 on July 4th.

Here’s something else quite unique about this small town. They have a firework display to DIE for. I am not kidding. The Laurel fireworks display is so magnificent that on the Fourth of July the population swells to 30,000 people. This is not an exaggeration! They all want to see the most spectacular fireworks display in the state of Montana. About two weeks before the big day the fire engine rolls through town stopping on every street and the firemen knock on doors collecting money for the display. On the Fourth of July, the firemen stand at the freeway exit into Laurel with black rubber boots and collect money to pay for the show.

Our family loved and really celebrated on the Fourth of July. It became one of our treasured traditions. We would pack up a large cooler of watermelon, fried chicken, potato salad and treats and head to the park at about 2:00 pm. We staked out our space with blankets and then just chilled out while the kids ran all over the park meeting friends, watching the parade and blowing off fireworks. Neighbors and friends would walk by and we’d have a good chat. I loved it.

You’re probably asking yourself, “Good grief, when was this, 1950? How old is this woman anyway!!!” Well, this is how it was right up until we left in 2003, bank, doctor, fireworks and all.

My adult children, half in their 40’s, still talk about those good old days and the 4th of July. One year we all went back to Laurel just to take it in one last time. More recently they all came to our home in Utah and we made a great effort to recreate it.

Traditions, no matter how homely, hold families together. They are the fodder of great reminiscent conversations. Be sure that in all the busyness of life you’re creating some family traditions. When your kids are in their 40’s you will be glad you did!

Happy Fourth of July!

Add Presence to Your Summer!

I’m glad summer is here. I like summer. I like the freedom that comes with summer. BUT summer can be a very busy time. Sometimes the pace outstrips my ability to keep up.

For me the pace began to pick up in March as I worked on my garden. It was so rainy that I worried I might not have a garden this year but it’s coming along nicely now.

My poor patio garden really took a beating last year and through the winter with the free range chickens. Then totally covered over early spring until the chicken run was done and they were contained. I feel as if it’s a gift from God especially for me every time I look at it. There is no way that we could have this little piece of heaven after the chickens. But here it is and it’s so beautiful.

Putting up the pergola came next and since my husband has physical limitations I learned that I can do some pretty difficult things. Very cool!

I spent almost two weeks in Seattle with my youngest daughter’s family. New babies are so wonderful! I helped them landscape the front yard. Whew, that was a lot of work. They waited until I got there because they had this idea that I know a lot about plants, how they grow, how to design gardens, etc. Yikes! It was a real adventure at the greenhouse picking everything out. It was an even greater adventure designing and planting everything. However, it turned out great and we got some good together time in the bargain.

Don spent part of his time helping the kids create a fairy village in the crooks of the big tree by the front door. The kids LOVED that. I learned all about play dough and the wonderful things that kids can create. : ) Then we moved on to bubble snakes. We also built and exploded a volcano because Elliott like everything prehistoric.

This Friday I returned home after a three day service project at my sisters house. I and another sister and her husband were hanging sheet rock, mudding, and taping the basement. Whew, that is a lot of work and a lot of ladder time. They project that they may have it all done by the end of July and so I may have the opportunity to do another stint on the ladder.

I also made a big decision this spring, to spend the summer writing. So I sat down and set up a writing schedule because without a firm plan it wouldn’t happen right? Two days later I became ill for the first time in two years. Hmm, might be my bodies comment on the whole writing thing. : )

Then a week later my computer went down. That in itself wasn’t so bad but that is how I discovered that the backup system I have been paying for for two years wasn’t backing anything up. YIKES!!! Not the systems fault but mine. Didn’t know what I was doing. It was a miracle we were able to retrieve all the data from the dead computer. So grateful because many files are not replaceable and all my writing would have been lost.

Now the computer is in some faraway manufacturing site being repaired and I am working on a cobbled together computer system. I have been out of sorts over it and haven’t quite gotten my feet back under me so the writing has been going slow. Not to fear though because I am fairly resilient and Monday is a new week. Pressing forward.

Summer is a wonderful, as well as a challenging time. If you have kids added to the mix then it can be even more so. Despite the distractions and business of summer, make sure you spend some present time with your children. As each summer passes it can’t be reclaimed. So hang on to what you can of them and make some memories. You will treasurer them later. Happy Summer!

Are You Sick of Mother’s Day?

When my youngest daughter was pregnant with her first baby, she began a blog titled “Countdown to Motherhood.” Each week she had a different mother from her circle of women write an article about their experience with mothering. I was one of the mom’s in that circle.

Today I’m sharing what I wrote on that long-ago Mother’s Day. (Link for the original article HERE)

Why Mothering Can Feel So Hard

I never thought much about being a mother. I mean you grew up, got married and had kids. Everyone did it; everyone that I knew anyway, and they didn’t seem to make a big deal about it. But it is a BIG deal. I had so much to learn about being a mother.

• It doesn’t come naturally to everyone.
• It isn’t always a piece of cake.
• Sometimes it’s overwhelming.
• You often don’t know what to do next.
• If you just keep at it, it will be the very best thing you ever do!!
• I would do it over again even though there were some very hard times.

At almost seventy I look back with fondness on those earlier days. I look at pictures of my sweet children and realize that I didn’t understand how wonderful they were. It’s so easy to get caught up in the work of mothering that you forget to pay attention to the joys of being a mother.

A Few Things That I Would Want to Understand If I Had It To Do Over

• Realize that the time will come when you will miss hearing your child say “mom.” It can be wearing now but you will miss it!
• Cherish every wet, sticky, sloppy kiss because no matter how many you get, they will never be enough! You will want more of them long after your child is grown.
• A clean house is not more important than a sweet relationship with your child. Messy bedrooms eventually disappear and so does the child – into adulthood – and then all you have left is a clean room and hopefully a child who wants to come home to visit.
• Conversations with a child are amazing if you take the time to listen. I know that right now you just want to hear quiet, but the day will come when you will miss that childish prattle.
• A child’s laughter and joy are contagious. Catch it because it renews your own energy and relieves stress.
• Being the caretaker of another person’s learning and personal growth is an amazing stewardship and is worth all the time and effort it takes to do it with kindness and gentleness.

Now that I’m a grandmother, I understand these things better. Moving at a slower and gentler pace is what grandparents do and so we see a bit more clearly and we enjoy a bit more deeply.

Any mother who is clear on the importance of being a mother and is willing to make it her number one priority for a short while can understand these things long before she is a grandmother.

Child-rearing lasts only a short time so, despite the challenges, weariness and redundant work, embrace every Mother’s Day while your kids are in your home. Once they leave it will never be the same!

Your Shares Are The Bst Compliment : )

Screen Free for a Month! WHAT?

What if you went Screen-Free, as a family, for a WHOLE MONTH!! Do you think you could do it? Would your family go nuts? Would everyone crack up? Would the fighting increase? Yikes!! A whole month!!

One of the main tips I give to help families connect better and more often, is to manage technology better. Turn off your digital devices, ditch technology – just for a while. Have technology free moments every day. For example, you could have a TV, computer and no phone hour just before bed. When you’re willing to let go of technology for even short amounts of time you will be surprised at how much time you can open up for your family. Finding a few moments each day to turn technology off is a good idea.

A few years ago, I met a family that goes screen-free for a whole month, once a year. I got all the details from the mom, Courtney, and I want to share them with you because I think you will be so impressed that you might consider making this a tradition in your home.

So, what is screen-free you ask? No TV, no movies on TV, no computer time, no games on the phone or TV, no screens!

HOW TO MAKE GOING SCREEN-FREE WORK

Here is how the Smith family makes it work:
1. Prepare your kids ahead of time. This family goes screen free in June, every year. However, one year they didn’t begin talking about it early enough. They usually begin talking about it and making plans about a month in advance. So, for the sake of having a successful Screen-Free Month, they moved it to July that year.

2. Presentation is everything. That’s my phrase and you’ve probably heard me say it before, but it is what they do. They talk it up. They talk about all the great things they’re going to be able to do as a family, how much fun they’re going to have together, and the family reward at the end of the month.

3. Get everyone to buy in. As Courtney was telling me how they get their kids to cooperate I said, “Oh you get them to buy in.” She smiled and said, “Well I didn’t have a term for it but yup, that’s what we do.” They get their kids to buy in by allowing them to pick a reward they would like to have at the end of the month. It could be swimming, camping, eating out, going to the movie theater, visiting grandparents, a road trip, whatever the parents want to throw out there. When the kids pick it, plan it and talk about it – they are IN.

Here is their families one caveat concerning rewards – They don’t use screen time as the reward. They don’t want to reward ‘no screen’ time with ‘screen’ time. : )

4. Parent’s have to be honest! It isn’t the kids who struggle the most, it’s the parents. They really do have to commit. Courtney told me that the hard part for her is at lunch. She usually has lunch when the big kids are at school and her little one is taking a nap. She likes to read Facebook, watch a show, catch up on the news, whatever, as she eats lunch. It’s a challenge to read instead or call a friend.

It is also challenging for her and her husband in the evening when everyone is in bed. They usually veg out a bit in front of the TV, just the two of them but – YIKES – it’s their screen-free month. She told me that they have learned to play games together or read to each other. It’s become really fun.

The one adult caveat – They do occasionally check email, pay bills online or prepare church lessons. Just no screens for entertainment purposes.

5. Plan ahead. Get the games out. Check some great books out of the library. Stock up on popcorn. Know in your mind what you’re going to say to your kids, how are you going to direct them when they come and ask to watch a movie or use technology. Get mentally and physically prepared.

This family goes screen free in the summer months because they feel that in the winter you’re shut in and it’s more difficult to disengage from TV, videos, games, etc. In the summer you can get out, walk, go swimming, go to the mountains, etc.

THE RESULTS

Courtney said that it’s challenging the first few days because it’s a serious transition, but then they settle right in. They have a lot of fun. They play together, they talk, and they laugh. She said that it’s something they all really look forward to each year.

They feel more connected at the end of their Screen-Free Month. It takes a while for screen time to become important to them again. The break feels good – after the first few days. : )

In fact, Courtney shared this with me, “Last time we did it our kids wanted to continue for more than a month! And they hardly ever asked when it would be over.”

So why not consider it and give it a try. You just might find out how much your family likes to read, play games, hike or swim.

Who else out there goes screen free for a day, a week, a month? What is your experience?

Your shares are the best compliment!

Traditions Matter!

We all have traditions. Our family had many traditions. Some were built around holidays or special family days. Many were built around spiritual and religious beliefs.

I know that the traditions we had in our family were pivotal to keeping us all together when things got tough. It was our traditions which brought our children home when they were wandering in their own wildernesses. I know that it was our traditions which linked us to the past and have carried us into the future. It’s because of our traditions that we’re still connected and bonded in some very strong ways despite the differences in our individual lives.

Here are some important things to consider as you review your family traditions:

• Traditions are like glue in a family
• It’s wise to carefully think about traditions and then decide what you want to create as a family culture
• Choose traditions that will strengthen the family culture that you want
• Be truly consistent in your traditions
• Sometimes a tradition needs to be adjusted as children grow so that the tradition remains strong

May your children be blessed with a strong sense of family. May you carefully consider your traditions and then make adjustments so that when your children are grown, they will do the same for their families.

This last week was a special one for my family. It’s a time when we celebrate some significant religious traditions. They matter a great deal to me.

I have also spent this last week studying the traditions of a different religious group. I have enjoyed it immensely and have learned so much. I learned:

• Every religion has special music and events for their youth because passing traditions on matters
• We all value our traditions and feel more complete with them
• The traditions of a family or another group are worth our respect even if they are different from ours.
• Learning about other traditions can strengthen us in our own

May we value our own family traditions, and may we respect those of others. Have a wonderful coming week!

What Can You Do When You Have a Mess?

See those garbage bags-been there three days. They might get thrown outside today!

The last three weeks have been packed. I tried to get Christmas done and mailed before my trip to Seattle to help my daughter who is pregnant and very ill. But life is life and I live in a four-generation household and… well, I didn’t get it done.

Seattle was wonderful, busy, fun, and tiring all at the same time. I came home with croup. I know, only kids get croup but every few years I join them. I don’t feel ill, but I sound terrible and feel totally worn out, so Wed. and Thurs. I didn’t get much accomplished. But I couldn’t rest on Friday because there was so much to do.

Here’s what I was trying to accomplish on Friday

Bake three apple pies
Make another tent kit
Go to the doctors
Get my mom to take a bath and trim her hair
Make 50 pancakes and a pot of green chili
Create and format a special document
Get all the rest of Christmas wrapped and shipped

I have a friend who had surgery the day before I flew home from Seattle. When I asked how I could help her she said that she was having tons of visits and treats but that her family could use some nurturing. Hence one apple pie.

My neighbor loves apple pie too and I have had her on my gift list for three weeks. I wanted to give her a pie and if you’re going to make one pie you might as well make two right! But if I bake and give away pies, I must make one for my own household or there would be a rebellion. So, three pies.

Saturday morning our church planned a Christmas breakfast. That’s right, breakfast. I would have opted to take a breakfast casserole, but my husband has a family tradition of Green Chili Pancakes and it’s so unique that he really wanted to share it. The problem is, he doesn’t know how to make it, I do. His grannie taught me. : ) So I needed to make 50 pancakes and then a huge pot of the green chili sauce. It was too much to do Saturday morning, so it had to be done on Friday. This is very delicious by the way. You can print the recipe HERE.

Now all of this wouldn’t have been too bad, but we had a double doctor’s appointment in the afternoon, we had to stop at two stores on the way home to get some items we needed to finish the above projects and that whole thing took three hours.

I was still trying to get my Christmas items packed and shipped but found that I needed one more tent kit. Long story. And I also realized that I needed a formatted document to include with a special framed family genealogy chart we are sending to our children. We are direct descendants of William Brewster of the Mayflower and I wanted to help each family understand who he was, what his family was like, and why they came to America.

I was able to create and format the document but never made a dent in the gift wrapping or the tent kit making. I did get mom bathed and her hair trimmed. Big woohoo!

It’s Saturday morning now. The church breakfast is done. The chili pancakes were a success. Everyone loved the pies which have been eaten and I am heading off to do the tent kit and get the rest of the stuff wrapped and shipped. My house is a disaster and the kitchen cabinets can’t even be seen. I haven’t vacuumed, dusted, or cleaned anything. Laundry is piling up but I did get one load in before the breakfast. Another big woohoo!

Here’s my point – life can be overwhelming even when we don’t plan for it to be. Sometimes we get stretched out, tasks bunch together and it feels heavy. In those moments, in my past and younger life, I would go to bed feeling like a failure. I would wonder why I couldn’t get more done. Why wasn’t I like so and so who not only gets more done but looks great too and on and on!

Here’s what I don’t do anymore:

I don’t compare myself to anyone! Really everyone has their hidden disasters!
I don’t beat myself up because I’m not perfect, slow, behind, didn’t plan better, start sooner, stay well, look put together, etc.
If I find myself having a hard time managing my thoughts about myself I pray. Find something that works for you!
I work diligently to refrain from blaming anyone, or anything for my slowness, tiredness, lateness, etc. I don’t blame! Sometimes it is what it is.

Here’s what I do to manage those times when life is just too much:

I practice remaining calm and if I need to I go to the bathroom and read a few paragraphs and breathe
I do what I can and I let it be enough
I remember to do the few things that make me feel cared for (my nightly shower and reading in the bathroom)
I make an effort to get enough sleep even if it means not getting as much done in a day
I take time to remain Present – at least once a day. Being Present happens in 5-minute chunks. This takes practice, even for me
I pray a lot! and I force myself to smile : )

I hope that this holiday season you’ll work on being your own best friend. Say no a bit more. Compare less. Talk nicely to yourself. Remember small moments of self-care. Smile even when you don’t feel like it. Be Present at least once a day with someone you care about. It can take 5 minutes or less!

Your shares are the best compliment! : )

Sixty-Eight Thanksgivings and Counting!

In two months I will be sixty-nine years old and my husband will be seventy. I contemplate that and I am amazed and astonished. It makes me smile with pure joy. Can you even imagine such a thing; to live this long! What an amazing thing to accomplish!

Next week is Thanksgiving. My sweet husband will be hovering around me like a moth, giving me little kisses, hugs, and small touches as I make the pies. That is a tradition

SWEET SWEET PIES

Back when we had just ourselves and our seven children we had at least 2 pumpkin, 1 cherry, 1 apple, and a lemon meringue but as we added spouses it grew to include 3 pumpkin, 2 cherry, 2 apple, the lemon meringue, a pecan, and a chocolate cream.

This year as I bake I will be thinking about past Thanksgiving days while we were raising seven children. I realize that this year is decidedly different. Past days were about family being together, having enough food, laughing and feeding pie to the neighbor kids and those brought home from college.

This year there is a new feeling. Don and I are both feeling the magnitude of what we have created in our almost seventy years.

When we married we were 21 and 22 years old; fresh, innocent, foolish, full of wonder at each other and the possibilities of life. At just shy of seventy we are no longer fresh, innocent and hopefully not as foolish, but I think we are still full of wonder at each other and the possibilities of our life together.

Can you imagine how it feels for us when we are with our family? As we look over our seven children and see wonderful, well adjusted, kind, loyal and intelligent adults it is remarkable. And now we have a bevy of spouses.

Added to our children and their spouses are thirteen grandchildren. They are all still fresh, innocent and full of the wonder at the possibilities of their lives. They are young, only three have passed eighteen.

When Don and I are in our mid-seventies, just a mere six years from now some great-grandchildren will most assuredly have been added. Can you imagine how that will feel? We are filling the world with beauty, loyalty, and kindness, it is our greatest achievement. This year we see it clearly, through older eyes and we can barely contain the joy of it all.

Family, it is the height of what we create in this world, the only truly enduring thing, that which should consume our most treasured hours. Parenting is a big job. It can feel overwhelming and can often feel as if we are failing. But there are some simple adjustments in our thinking which can help us use the time we do have with our children to better advantage so that our relationships are stronger and sweeter.

All We Have Are The Relationships

We Have Forged

As I eat Thanksgiving pie this year they will be sweeter than ever before. Despite the difficulties of raising a family, learning to parent, learning to be a good spouse, making a living and all the rest I am content and I thank Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ that I have been so richly blessed.

At the end of the day, all we have are the relationships that we have forged –healthy or unhealthy, strong or weak, good or bad. This is especially important to remember when building our family relationships. Simple things, done consistently over time, lead to amazing success in the home.

Here’s wishing you a very wonderful holiday season. And I hope you will take a bit of time to learn how to strengthen your family relationships without breaking your time bank. Get your free chapter HERE.

Your shares are the greatest compliment. : )

A Stroll Down Memory Lane for Halloween

My granddaughter’s, Aubrey and Lizzy, in their Halloween finery

Halloween was one of my favorite holidays. I was young enough to celebrate it in the 1950’s and very early 60’s. It was a far different holiday than today; no big box stores, just the five and dime and Woolworth’s. Very few kids had ever seen a store bought costume let alone owned one.

The big scares for the night were pushing over someone’s outhouse, stealing a melon or two and running through the neighborhood in large packs of very mixed age groups. We would go with our friends but we would all be towing a younger sibling or two. Pillowcases were the treat bag of choice and parents never went with us. No one drove to another neighborhood.

Decorations were carved pumpkins and sheets hanging from trees. There were no moving monsters and skeletons which screeched when you walked by. There was just the occasional dad or teen hiding in the bushes to jump out and scare the daylights out of you.

Treats consisted of apples, homemade popcorn balls, wrapped

Candy apples, a Halloween staple in my day!

homemade cookies and cupcakes, taffy bites, tootsie rolls, lots of suckers and an occasional, much sought after, candy bar. We were often invited into a home for hot apple cider and cookies so we could warm up.

Our costumes would be admired. For the most part, we were ghosts, witches, gypsies, brides, princesses, scarecrows, superheroes and an occasional Dracula or mummy in a bed sheet. Trust me, our costumes were pretty simple compared to even today’s homemade costumes.

Please notice the very scary face and the very scary claws on his feet!

After I turned 9 or ten I don’t remember my mom making a costume for me. My friends and I just figured stuff out. When my grandson was three (he is now ten) he figured out some stuff too. He came to his mom with a costume that he had put together all on his own. Sometimes it’s good to get out of our children’s way and just let them create instead of being so interested in the end result or what other people might think.

A Halloween Trick!

As an adult, I LOVED Halloween because I had such fond memories from my childhood. One of my favorite things was to dress up as a witch. I had a laugh to envy.

One year, just before Halloween, my children watched a movie about witches. It was deliciously scary. They learned that witches have itchy heads and that they can smell mice.

That Halloween after I played my part as a green-faced, long-nosed witch with a fabulously authentic laugh, my five-year-old began asking me if I was a witch. I would give him an eerie smile, open my eyes really wide and say, “Why no, Barry”, while I scratched my head. He asked me multiple times.

One day, as I was cleaning under the sink, I discovered that we had a mouse. I hollered to my husband, “We have a mouse under the sink.” Barry, who had been standing at my side ran away and thumped up the stairs, all the while yelling at the top of his lungs, “She is a witch, she is a witch.”

What Makes Halloween Special?

As funny as that story is, and we still laugh about it, I realized that as much as my children liked the trick or treating they were scared by all the posters, window clings, and more and more gruesome costumes. Times had changed from when I was a girl. So I made a change in the way we celebrated Halloween.

I asked myself what it was about the holiday that I loved so much. It was the night, the freedom, the

Food, friends and fun. That’s what really makes the Halloween season.

friends and the treats. So we began having parties with other families and made sure there were lots of games, friend’s, food and treats. My children never stopped going trick or treating but they would bring their friend’s home for games and treats.

Don and I like being home on Halloween. We like talking with the children and their parents who visit our home, asking them about their costumes and such. We have pumpkins and gourds, bales of hay and corn stalks, maybe a scarecrow or two. We keep it simple, not too scary and loads of fun.

How do you and yours celebrate Halloween?

Your shares are the best compliment!

A Home Management Tip for Autumn

Stuff! Stuff! Stuff!

I lived in Montana in the same house for over twenty-one years with a husband and seven children. I bet you can imagine the amount of stuff we accumulated!

We frequently had to reorganize the garage. One whole end of the garage was a special room dedicated to storing stuff. In the house hours of time went into cleaning out closets, drawers, and toy boxes. I can recall the time required to sort, launder, store, and fold all of the clothes and bedding we managed to accumulate.

Eventually, we decided to move to Utah. I was ready! I began cleaning out the house. I held numerous garage sales. I wanted to let it all go. My husband felt stressed when he left for work because he wasn’t there to monitor what was being sold. He was worried about what we were going to have to replace.

Here’s what happened. After over thirty years of living together and raising seven children, we pared it all down to one small U-haul and a van. Would you be surprised to know that in all the years since we haven’t replaced a single item?

More Stuff!

“ …We invest a great deal in the acquisition of stuff. Companies bombard us with slick, relentless propaganda as to why we must have their stuff, and we judge an individual’s success by their stuff’s sheer quantity and supposed quality… Stuff beyond our basic needs does not liberate. Consider the overall investment of your time. You have to shop for stuff. You have to clean, maintain, and organize stuff. You lose stuff. You look for stuff. You polish stuff, secure it against theft, trip over it, recharge it, upgrade it, accessorize it, pack it, move it, unpack it, insure it, fix it, and eventually sell, trash, or bequeath it. Stuff has no use beyond this life, and it takes a lot from us.” -Shawn Miller

If you’re having a hard time keeping your home clean you probably have too much stuff. If your dishes are always piled up you probably have too many dishes. If your kid’s rooms are a disaster they probably have too many toys, too many gadgets, and too many clothes.

Stuff is Energy Draining!

Each item we own requires some of our energy. The more belongings we have, the more emotional energy, as well as physical energy, is needed to maintain it. I want you to visualize something.

Close your eyes and imagine you have threads of energy attached to your shoulders and these threads connect to every item you have in your possession. Every item—each dish, cup, and pan; pictures in the photo album, CDs, and hammer; each nail, sock, book, pile of papers, sweater, car, guitar pick, and even your computer files. It’s one energy thread per item.

Now envision wherever you go you energetically drag all your possessions with you. You drag them via the connecting threads of emotional energy. How much are you dragging?

What if you eliminated a quarter of your belongings? How much lighter would you feel? Would you even miss any of the things you discarded or gave away? Through my experience, the answer is surprising: not really.

I have a very wealthy friend; she could buy just about anything. Her home is lovely, not cluttered or crowded. There isn’t a plethora of stuff. She gave me a perfectly beautiful blouse one day and I asked her why she was giving it away. She replied, “I have a rule. If I buy something new I have to give something away.” Wow, really wise woman!

In last weeks article, I talked about a principle which allows us a great deal of freedom – keep things simple. Getting rid of stuff is a way to simplify your life, to free yourself and Autumn is a perfect time.

Precious Autumn-Graceful Change

Fall is in the air- I love it! Although it still seems a bit like summer here in the west where I live, I know fall is just around the corner. There’s a slight chill to the air and the suns rays seem a bit thinner. The flowers are brilliant and blooming like mad in the final days of warm weather.

Why do I love autumn so much? Well, things begin to gear down. It feels somehow, restful. It feels peaceful. I have a desire to sit on the porch and soak up the sun. I want to bake bread! These autumn days make me feel cozy. I have a desire to be home puttering and preparing for winter.

Mostly, I love this season because the falling leaves remind me that to everything there is a season. There is a time for gathering and a time for letting go. This is a time when I feel the need to simplify, to let go.

Just as the leaves of fall must let go so the tree can rest we too need to occasionally take stock of what we have and ask ourselves, “Is this serving a purpose or is it just clutter?” Are there commitments or obligations that I have taken on that are not serving my family or me? Is my calendar cluttered? Is there too much ‘stuff’ in my home? Are the cupboards of my mind too full? What about my emotions? Are there any old wounds and hurts that I need to release to the wind?” Fall is a time for taking stock and cleaning house.

When we think of this type of cleaning many of us think of spring. But for me, fall is the time. I don’t want to be closed up for winter with too many obligations, too much stuff, too few hours for home and family or feelings that burden my days and nights. Winter is for rest and I want to be free to rest.

This is a principle which allows us to have a great deal of freedom: Keep it simple. When you put something in, take something out. This principle, when observed, can help us have more time for family, relationships, and learning.

As my darling daughter, Jenny, so elegantly said, “Precious Autumn demonstrated graceful change to me today, to change and release with grace.”

Mary Ann Johnson