Category: featured

Listening, Trusting, and Following Through Make a World of Difference

The Day of Surgery

The day of my hip surgery, September 3, after returning home, I was going up and down our two stairs, caregiving, and managing as if I had never had surgery. One week out, I canned salsa. The doctor had told me I would recover quickly because I was so active. When I asked about canning, he said I could do whatever I had energy for because my new hip was made to stand on. That’s why I was in crazy mode for the first two weeks after surgery. And it was crazy!

Reality Is No FUN! Getting Help Is

At the end of the first two weeks, reality descended. I fell into extreme fatigue and became depressed. I couldn’t shake the feelings of worry, fear, sadness, anger, resentment, powerlessness, etc. My hip began to bother me when I sat or when I first began walking after sitting. I was totally unprepared for this. It wasn’t what I was expecting after two fabulously energetic and pain-free weeks. What had happened?

Caregiving didn’t go away because I was struggling. Mom and Don still needed help with everything. My daughter helped when she could, but she works full-time, has four teens, one with severe CP. I had to keep doing what was necessary because life goes on. This was the reality of my situation, but how could I continue when I felt so unable to manage myself and my feelings?

I was desperate for answers. So, I did what I do. I prayed for help, resources, and thoughts. As I knew it would, help came. I received information from two trusted sources that let me know that depression is part of the healing process. The body uses all the energy it can to do its healing work, which leaves one depleted. Knowing this, that there wasn’t anything wrong with me, that I wasn’t weak, and was in exactly the correct place, helped me cope with how I felt, until the depression and most of the hip discomfort went away in late December.

A Thought That Made A Difference

Today, I want to focus on one thought that came to me, which I immediately implemented, even though it seemed odd. Then I’ll share the amazing clarity I received as to why trusting the thought and following through made such a difference at a very challenging time.

The thought was to open the hymnal on my phone and sing 1-2 songs each evening. Really, I was living a very busy caregiving life. I had just had surgery and was struggling. I didn’t want to add something else to my already loaded plate! But I listened. It was fall and warm, so I went outdoors at sunset and sang. I couldn’t always sit, so I would stand. It lifted my spirits. It caused me to smile. I have continued this simple practice. Eventually, I couldn’t go outdoors because of the changing weather, so I would sit at my desk in the bedroom or in the bathroom before my nightly shower. The fatigue and depression, although still there, began to be more manageable.

In November, they announced the church choir would begin practicing for the Christmas program. I had quit singing three years earlier. It was too hard to take Mom and Don home, feed them, and then go back for choir. But for the two hours we were at church that day, the thought kept returning. “Mary, sing in the choir.” “Join the choir.” “Don’t forget choir.” Finally, I looked heavenward and said under my breath, “OK!!”, in a frustrated voice. I took Mom and Don home and returned to the church at 3. It was a beautiful and uplifting experience! I hadn’t realized how much letting go of my music had affected me. I had forgotten how much I loved singing.

I was given a small solo, even though I had been gone for three years. Singing a solo was on my bucket list, and here I was at 75, doing it for the first time, after a three-year hiatus. A miracle. Singing daily in the evening and on Sunday with the choir was one of the things that helped my heart shed the burdens it felt.

The Christmas program was wonderful, and I did a good job. It was fun, and I was glad I had listened to my thought. The depression had gone, and I was managing well. But it didn’t end there.

On Sunday, January 18th, they announced there would be a choir for a larger church meeting held a couple of times a year. I knew the singers in this choir would all be better at the craft than I am. I don’t read music well, so I have to memorize my part, but I felt I would have time to do that. I really enjoyed the first practice, despite being in deep water. : )

Why Did It Make A Difference?

Driving home after that first choir practice, I was pondering the whole music/singing issue. Why had it made such a difference? Was it the singing itself, the music, being with a group, what? In that moment of thought, I got a download; it filled my mind and heart. It wasn’t about the music or the singing. It wasn’t about being part of something. It was the sense that I was caring for myself because I matter. I’m worth caring for. This is exactly what I know I am doing when I shower at night. I’ve been showering at night for over 30 years. Caring for myself is what I’m doing when I schedule those phone calls, walks, and the occasional lunch that I resisted doing for three years and recently told you about.

In each of these situations: creating regular connections with other women, taking a hot shower at night, singing in the evening, joining the choir, I was intentionally caring for my heart, my mind, my emotions, my healing, not just from surgery, but from the challenges of everyday living. It was mind-blowing and mind-opening. It made so much sense.

We all find ourselves in this place, maybe not from surgery or illness, but from managing a family, a job, and life. It can feel overwhelming. And we all must learn to manage the feelings this overwhelm can generate.

I mentioned some time back the story I’ve been dealing with for over nine years, “There is no time in my life for me.” I know it’s a story, but it hasn’t been easy to dispel because my life is packed with people to care for, and I gave up a carefully built career to take it on. In this moment of clarity, after that choir practice, I understood that the things I had been led to do by my creator were designed to help me care for myself, to say in a physical way, “I love you, Mary Ann. You matter to me as much as anyone!” The activities I have added to my hectic life in the last couple of years are making a difference, a world of difference.

No matter what your situation looks like, if you ponder and think about how you can care for yourself, thoughts and resources will come. Don’t dismiss them like I did when the thought came to create a group of women I could connect with consistently. Don’t dismiss them if they seem odd, like adding choir practice or evening singing to your already packed day. Don’t dismiss them if they seem frivolous, like scheduling walks or going to lunch once every three months. LOL

Every evening, I still shower, pray for someone, put on lotion, read a few paragraphs, and spend time alone. I can usually give myself 10 to 15 minutes. : ) I still sing every evening. I have my calls, walks, and one lunch preset so they actually happen. I’m diligently working on rewriting that old story, one God-given thought and then one action at a time. I’m sending the message loud and clear to myself, 

“There’s always time for you because you matter as much as anyone!”

Fantastic Dinner Conversations – Year of the Horse

WARNING – There is a TON of stuff in this article. Take what you need and leave the rest. : )

Sometimes it can be a challenge to get kids to talk at the dinner table, especially teens. But having dinner conversations helps create a culture of togetherness and is worth the effort. This year marks the Year of the Horse. It begins on February 17, 2026, and will end on February 5, 2027. I know that seems odd compared to our calendar, but the moon cycle determines the dates each year. The Chinese New Year is a great jumping-off place for some happy dinner conversations.

In China, they use a zodiac based on a 12-year cycle to determine when the new year begins. To celebrate each new year, they have a 16-day festival. This year, the festival will culminate with a full blood moon, known as the Worm Moon, on March 3, 2026. This New Year’s festival is also known as the spring festival.

There’s much to talk about as we enter the Year of the Horse. As you ask good questions and share interesting information, you can get some great dinner conversations going and then expand them over the next couple of months.

Sample Questions

• Does China use the same calendar system we do?
• Do you know how China celebrates the New Year?
• Did you know that in China, there is an animal sign for each new year?
• Did you know that if you were born in the year of the horse, you would have cool characteristics?
(vitality, speed, perseverance, success, and be hardworking, warm-hearted, and independent)
• Have you ever heard of the Worm Moon?
• Do you have a favorite book about horses?
• Would you like to know what animal was on the zodiac the year you were born?

In this article, I’m sharing interesting and fun ideas so that as you take the leap and give this a try, you will have what you need. Below you’ll find information on the Year of the Horse, family learning ideas, family activities and games, and family reading.

Information on the Chinese New Year – Year of the Horse

The Chinese Zodiac, known as Sheng Xiao in Chinese, is based on a 12-year cycle. Each year in the cycle is related to an animal sign. These animal signs are the rat, ox, tiger, rabbit, dragon, snake, horse, sheep, monkey, rooster, dog, and pig. The zodiac is calculated according to the Chinese Lunar Calendar. The selection and order of the animals that influence people’s lives originated in the Han Dynasty (206 – 220) and is based upon each animal’s character and living habits. The spirit of the horse is the spirit of the Chinese people. They are always trying to improve themselves. This spirit is energetic, bright, warm-hearted, intelligent, and able.

People born in the Year of the Horse have ingenious communication techniques and, in their community, they always want to be in the limelight. They are clever, kind to others, and like to join in a venture career. Although they sometimes talk too much, they are cheerful, perceptive, talented, earthy, but stubborn. They like entertainment and large crowds. They’re popular among friends, active at work, and refuse to be reconciled to failure. Hmmm, could that be you? You can find more details about the year of the horse HERE. 

Were you born in a Year of the Horse? You can find out what animal was celebrated in your birth year HERE. I was born in the year of the Ox, and my birthday on the Chinese lunar calendar is Dec. 23, 1949. According to the calendaring system we use in the USA, it’s February 9, 1950. Interesting.

Family Learning Ideas

Whenever there’s a special event in the world, such as a holiday, it gives you a wonderful opportunity to create learning experiences for your family, which then can lead to great mealtime conversations. Here are a few ideas to get you started with the Year of the Horse.

1. Take the time to discover each person’s animal sign.

2. Learn the difference between astronomy and astrology, and there is a big difference. That will help clarify why calendaring systems are different.

3. Study the country of China, the writing, the history, the culture, and the arts.

4. Since this is the year of the horse, learn about horses. Sharing facts or asking questions about horses to see what your family already knows would create great dinner conversation. Here are a few facts to get you going.

Fun Facts about Horses
• Horses can sleep both lying down and standing up.
• Horses can run shortly after birth.
• Domestic horses have a lifespan of around 25 years.
• Horses have been domesticated for over 5000 years.
• Horses are herbivores (plant eaters).
• Horses have bigger eyes than any other mammal that lives on land.
• Because horses’ eyes are on the side of their head, they can see nearly 360 degrees at one time.
• Estimates suggest that there are around 60 million horses in the world.
• A male horse is called a stallion.
• A female horse is called a mare.
• A young male horse is called a colt.
• A young female horse is called a filly.

5. Visit a nearby farm or petting zoo to see horses.

6. Watch “Miracle of the White Stallions” by Disney. I saw it as a young child, and I loved it! (Vienna’s famed Spanish Riding School – and its prized Lipizzan stallions – is threatened by devastating bombing raids and indifferent Nazi commanders. Despite the dangers involved in evacuating the magnificent animals, the school’s director and a handful of heroic citizens attempt a daring, life-threatening plan to move the stallions away from the ravages of war and keep the historic breed alive.)

7. Play a Game

  • Pin the tail on the horse (played like pin the tail on the donkey)
    A picture of a horse with a missing tail is tacked to a wall within easy reach of children. One at a time, each child is blindfolded and handed a paper “tail” with a push pin or thumbtack poked through it. The blindfolded child is then spun around until he or she is disoriented. The child gropes around and tries to pin the tail on the horse. The player who pins their tail closest to the target, the donkey’s rear, wins.
  • Animal Charades
    This is not just about horses; there are more animals than just horses in the Chinese Zodiac. This fun, old-fashioned kids’ party game has kids imitating their favorite animals. Each player takes a turn imitating an animal, while the other players try to guess which animal. The player who guesses correctly takes the next turn.
  • Hobby Horse Race
    You can make a hobby-horse from a broom, a mop, a yardstick, a dowel, etc. They can dress up their “horse” using ribbon. Make the head from a paper bag. Decorate the horse’s face and put it over the top of whatever you are using for the body, and secure it with ribbon or string. Create a racecourse in your backyard: get them to run around the sandpit, under the trampoline, use the garden hose to map out a course, give them something to jump over- get creative, and it will be sure to keep the kids busy for a while.

8. Do a Craft – The crafts below need little direction. When needed, brief directions are given.

  • Tube Horses – made from painted toilet paper rolls. The legs and neck are pipe cleaners or construction paper.
  • Stick Horses – Have your child make a horse head. Attach them to yardsticks, empty gift wrap rolls, or wooden dowels, etc. Cut two heads from paper or use a paper bag, decorate, add yarn or felt mane, stuff with crumpled paper or not, add wiggle eyes or color them in, staple, add a stick, viola! Now the kids are ready for stick horse races.

9. Make Fun ‘Horse’ Food

  • Lunch for Hungry as a Horse Kids – Keep it simple. For lunch, serve apples and carrots, along with some Happy Trails mix (nuts, seeds, M&M’s). Throw in some chips and a sandwich.
  • Serve a ‘Horse’ Sandwich – What you’ll need:
    • bread and filling (PB&J, lunch meat, etc)
    • sliced cheese (for mane and tail)
    • sliced ham
    • string cheese
    • peas (for eyes)
    • celery (for legs)
    • Raisins (for legs, spots, eyes)
    The pictures should give you all the directions that you need. : )

Family Reading 

If you have a family reading time, then read great books about horses, both fiction and non-fiction. If you don’t have a family reading time, try reading a chapter at a meal. You will eat cold food, but it isn’t forever. : )  Below is a short list of fiction, non-fiction, and kids’ books to get you started. There are also two Aesop Fables to share at a meal and then talk about. No reading needed. Remember the Year of the Horse lasts all year. : )

  • Story 1: Aesop used horses to teach life lessons. You can find these stories in any Aesop’s fables book. Here are two to get started. You can tell these at a meal, ask questions at the end, and get another conversation going.
    The Horse, Hunter, and Stag – A quarrel had arisen between the Horse and the Stag, so the Horse came to a Hunter to ask his help take revenge on the Stag. The Hunter agreed, but said: “If you desire to conquer the Stag, you must permit me to place this piece of iron between your jaws, so that I may guide you with these reins, and allow this saddle to be placed upon your back so that I may keep steady upon you as we follow after the enemy.” The Horse agreed to the conditions, and the Hunter soon saddled and bridled him. Then, with the aid of the Hunter, the Horse soon overcame the Stag, and said to the Hunter: “Now, get off, and remove those things from my mouth and back.” “Not so fast, friend,” said the Hunter. “I have now got you under bit and spur, and prefer to keep you as you are at present.”

Moral: If you allow men to use you for your purposes, they will use you for theirs.

  • Story 2: The Horse and the Donkey
    A horse and a donkey were traveling together, the horse prancing along in its fine trappings, the donkey carrying with difficulty the heavy weight in its panniers. “I wish I were you,” sighed the donkey; “nothing to do and well fed, and all that fine harness upon you. ”Next day, however, there was a great battle, and the horse was wounded to death in the final charge of the day. His friend, the donkey, happened to pass by shortly afterwards and found him on the point of death. “I was wrong,” said the donkey.

Moral: Better humble security than gilded danger.

Fictional Stories About Horses

• The Wild Little Horse by Ashley Wolff
• Girl Who Loved Wild Horses by Paul Goble
• All the Pretty Little Horses by Linda Saport
• Black Beauty by Mary Sebag-Montefiore
• Black Beauty: The Autobiography of a Horse by Anna Sewell
• National Velvet by Enid Bagnold
• The Black Stallion by Walter Farley
• Girl on the High-Diving Horse by Linda Oatman High

Non-fiction Stories About Horses

• The Kids’ Horse Book by Sylvia Funston
• I Wonder Why Horses Wear Shoes by Jackie Gaff
• Horse Heroes: True Stories of Amazing Horses by Kate Petty
• The True or False Book of Horses by Patricia Lauber

Picture Books About Horses

• The Girl Who Loved Wild Horses by Paul Goble
• Robert the Rose Horse by Joan Heilbroner
• Cowgirl Kate and Cocoa by Erica Silverman
• Every Cowgirl Needs a Horse by Rebecca Janni
• Fritz and the Beautiful Horses by Jan Brett
• Scamper and the Horse Show by Jessie Haas
• Leonardo’s Horse by Jean Fritz
• Cowardly Clyde by Bill Peet
• Facts About Horses: 50 Amazing Illustrated Facts for Kids by Amy Lyons

Remember, conversations in a family, at meals, in the car, etc., help create a culture of togetherness.

Our Dreams Can Come True. Watch For It!

On March 9, 2025, I shared truths that I had written when I was 62. I shared them again because from 62 to 75, they hadn’t changed. I had lived them, and they were still true. I ended the article with these words:

Our dreams can come true. We can live up to our expectations. There is a plan, and we fit perfectly into it. It may not happen in the time frame we want, but if we hold on to hope and believe in ourselves, we will win.

As I’ve shared in past articles, I wanted to be a writer as early as age 8. I wanted to be a speaker even earlier. In my late 50s and 60s, these two dreams came true. I had a book published and spoke on stages all over the country. I taught workshops and mentored other adults.

Deciding to Let Go of What Was

In 2017, a few months after my book was published, my mother, who has dementia, came to live with us. Then my husband’s health took a serious turn, and I realized I could no longer do what I had spent a lifetime dreaming about. I closed my business, stopped speaking, teaching workshops, and mentoring after almost fifteen years. I continued to write, but I did less of it. This was not an easy decision to make, but it was mine to make. After I decided how to proceed, I moved forward confident that all would be well, even if it was different from what I had planned.

Last week, I spent some time in my old office, which is now my daughter’s, cleaning out a bookshelf and a cupboard. I found dozens of testimonials from people I had worked with, taught, and mentored. They shared how what I had taught them changed their lives. I was astounded. I had forgotten the thrill of it all. How it felt to be on stage, in front of a class, or helping a parent find more peace at home. I felt somewhat let down and sad. So, I did what I do. I began to look carefully at my story, and I prayed. I wanted peace with my current life and continuing joy in what it had been.

In the ensuing days, I had amazing thoughts come to my mind, thoughts that were uplifting and beautiful. They were about other dreams I had held as a child and young adult.

My Other Dreams

When I was in 7th grade, I joined the nursing club. I wanted to be a nurse. I studied it and looked into what it would take. I held that dream for many years.

When I went to college, I decided to get a degree in Special Education and work with children who had special needs. I was one semester shy of graduating and thought I would finish after marrying. I was 40 before I could return to college, and then I had too many classes to retake. So, I got a degree in education. It seemed that I would never fulfill either of these dreams.

I Hadn’t Noticed!

I hadn’t noticed that these dreams had come to fruition in ways I never expected! Every day, I care for my husband and my mother. I dispense pills, manage medications, wipe behinds, help them dress, take them to doctor’s appointments, check oxygen levels, etc. I work with physicians, home care nurses, and physical therapists to make decisions on their care.

Recently, my husband needed his legs wrapped weekly because of serious edema, so a home health nurse was dispatched. As her time with us wound down, we switched from wraps to a special tube sock. She showed me how to use it. As she did, I saw in my mind an easier way. When she came last week, Don told her what I was doing, and she asked to see. I demonstrated, and she was delighted because it will save her time and energy with other clients. Hmmm, seems like I have gotten my chance at the nursing thing. : ) I’ve been doing it now for over eight years.

Jodie left home early Thursday, so I got my granddaughter, Maggie, ready for school and on the bus by seven a.m. She has severe cerebral palsy. I had to get up at 5:45 to manage it. I did her meds, dressed her, brushed her teeth, hooked up the tube that feeds her, and had many mini conversations. Several years ago, I was Maggie’s aide in school. I attended every day and helped her write, read, do math, etc.

Shortly after Maggie left for school, I got a text from my 20+-year-old friend who has special needs. We engaged in a 15-20-minute text thread. Then I drove my grandson to school. As I drove home, I called my 54-year-old special needs friend who was having some dental work done. I wanted to know how it went and what she had planned for the rest of the week. We had a fifteen-minute conversation. Wednesday, I had recieved a call from my 60+ year-old friend, who also has special needs. We had a lively conversation. I met each one of these women in different towns where I have lived. It seems that the desire to be involved with people with special needs has come my way. I was also reminded of other dreams I have, and hope was rekindled that I will accomplish them.

Hold on to your dreams, all of them. They all matter, those that put you on a stage and those that help you serve those you love. Life takes twists and turns, and it can feel, at times, as if we have lost what we wanted so much. But if we remain open and observant, we will see our dreams fulfilled. Maybe not in the way we expected, but fulfilled, nonetheless. This knowledge brings brightness and lightness to life when things move differently than we planned. So, keep those dreams in front of you and watch God do his work.

Don’t be surprised when he gives them to

you in ways you didn’t expect.

 

Have a blessed and growing 2026,
Mary Ann : )

The Education Adventure – Be an Example & Remember the Spark

I mentored parents for many years. I enjoyed this work, the friendships I made, and the changes I saw in families. In the early days, I worked with families that were homeschooling. Later, I added parents who educated their children in private and public schools. One of the issues for all parents was how to help children/youth want to learn, enjoy the process, and take responsibility for their learning. No one system insulates parents from this dilemma. I began writing a series of articles titled The Education Adventure. These articles contained real experiences, from real families. Their stories are helpful when working to help children take on the adventure of education.

Important Questions

These are two questions that often surfaced while mentoring. The answers vary widely from family to family and from child to child. Observing how other families manage can assist in answering these questions for your family.

• How do you help them want to learn?
• How can you help children/youth take responsibility for their learning?

An Example from a Real Family

I had the privilege of working with a family who had an 11-year-old boy. Let’s call him Mike. They homeschooled. But as many of us do, even when our kids are in public or private school, mom pushed him. She wanted him to succeed. She wanted him to be proud of himself. Every day there was a lot of math, reading, spelling, science, etc.

This doesn’t sound much different from the mom who is using a private or public school, does it? At the end of the day, we feel responsible for how our children are doing in their schoolwork. It often feels as if the quality of their work shines a reflection on us, as parents. Are we helping them enough? Are we making sure they’re getting their homework done? Are they enjoying the education process? Do we feel overwhelmed with their school stuff and all the other things we manage?

Back To The 11-Year-Old

Mike had become somewhat belligerent about schoolwork, especially math. When his mom reached out to me, she didn’t think her son liked school. I was able to share information on how to make it feel more enjoyable and gave her some tools. They were helpful to her children, but we really made significant progress when I met with her son.

When I asked Mike how he was feeling about school, he said he liked it. He liked doing things as a family. He enjoyed reading together and alone. This surprised his mom. I asked him how he felt about math. He said he loved it; it was one of his favorite things. This also surprised his mom. Then I asked a pointed question, “Then why do you fuss about doing your math?” He responded that sometimes he wanted to read instead. I had to laugh. Doesn’t that sound like all of us? Sometimes you have things you need to do, but you want to do something else, and it makes you feel grouchy. It’s one of the reasons my daughter, Jodie, lets her kids take an occasional ‘sick’ day. : )

Since math had been the big issue between him and his mom, I asked him why he loved math. He replied that he liked working things out and solving problems. I said, “Then you would probably like architecture. It uses math to solve problems and work stuff out.” He said he loved architecture. This was something his mom hadn’t known. She had never talked with him about his math, except to ask if his assignments were finished. That week, she got books on architecture from the library and set them out. One day, they spent time together looking at pictures of famous buildings and talking about them.

Here’s another hard place many parents find themselves, as Mike’s mother had. We know what needs to be done, but we aren’t watching our children to see what interests them. We aren’t engaging in conversation. We’re not listening. We’re busy with life, and we want them to get their schoolwork done and do it well. However, when we ask questions and respond to what interests our kids, we help them connect schoolwork to their goals and dreams.

Mike’s mom and dad attended a seminar I spoke at a few weeks after we began working together. We had a conversation about their son and his math. Just that day, he had gotten mad at his mom over the math homework. He didn’t want to attend their family devotional or participate in family reading. He accused his mom of making him get behind in math because of all this other, unimportant family stuff.

I listened as the parents talked about the situation, and then I asked, “Why are you taking responsibility for Mike’s math?” His parents weren’t sure how to respond. I mean, don’t all parents manage their kids’ education and make sure they do the work?

At our interview, I asked Mike how he felt about overseeing his education, about being responsible for whether he learned math. He said he liked being able to choose what to study every day, but worried about being in charge. He said, “Sometimes I like having someone tell me what to do. It’s scary feeling I’m in charge.” Here he was fussing when his mom told him what to do, but he was intimidated by managing himself. This is the lesson everyone must learn, at some point, to live successful lives. It’s wise for kids to practice being responsible before starting high school, leaving home, or going to college. His mom saw that we can’t (and shouldn’t) do it all for our kids. They must learn to take responsibility. I’m watching this unfold in my own home this year with one of my teenage grandsons. Accepting responsibility is not always easy.

Let me share a powerful quote from an old friend, Oliver DeMille. “Freedom is the powerful, essential ingredient required for the development of courage. Students may become comfortable with being told what to learn and when to learn it. They may feel some fear or insecurity when offered the opportunity to choose. They may require time to engage in study of their own choosing. There is nothing more powerful for a child…than a loving and concerned mentor who frequently displays the courage to try, the courage to learn new things, the courage to endure as they struggle to acquire new skills and to flex mental muscles they didn’t know they had. Gentle invitations can be made for children to come along in the great adventure of education.”

I’ve written about the importance of parents continuing their own education (this can be in community classes, higher education, or good old-fashioned reading) because it builds confidence; confidence that the parent can learn and be an example to their family. It builds confidence in the child that they can learn by following the example their parents are setting for them. Parents need to model the behavior they want to see in their children.

I’ve also written articles on the value of seeing children’s sparks, what they are truly interested in, and how responding to those sparks can ignite a love of learning, which carries over into subjects they aren’t as passionate about. This is successful in all types of educational systems.

Ask Questions, Listen, & See the Spark

It’s hard to see sparks if we aren’t talking with and listening to our children. Mike loved math, but the only conversation he had with his parents about it was whether he had finished the worksheets. Think of all the wonderful ways this spark could be used to spur his desire to learn math on his own, to take responsibility for his education. His mom had followed up by getting books, and they were planning to visit an architect’s office to see what an architect does.

Sparks and your example are two things that can make a difference in your child’s personal education. You are the mentor for your children, regardless of where they attend school. It’s hard to convince your child that education matters if you’re not somehow engaged yourself. We can only invite our child to join us in the great adventure of education if we’re taking that adventure ourselves.

Remember what Dr. DeMille said, “There is nothing more powerful for a child than a loving and concerned mentor who frequently displays the courage to try, the courage to learn new things, the courage to endure as they struggle to acquire new skills and to flex mental muscles, they didn’t know they had. Gentle invitations can be made for children to come along in the great adventure of education.”

So, learn to tie fishhooks, learn cake decorating, take up Spanish, begin sewing, attend a community education class, or have a book in the bathroom that you read daily. Let your children see you learning. Talk to them about the challenges and joys, and they will begin to share their feelings with you. This makes for great dinner conversations. When you make this effort, it can ignite a love of learning and a desire to take responsibility. I’ve seen this work over and over again.

What will you learn or read next?

Transparency as We Begin 2026

I post once a day on my three Facebook sites and Instagram. For the most part, the posts are happy, upbeat, and about family. I do this for my readers, and I also do it as a way of documenting my family. Someday, these posts will be a series of books called 365 Days, 365 Ways to Be a Family.

Here is a post I made in September –

Two Wednesdays ago, August 20th, Don had a right hip replacement. He is recovering well, and it is a relief to have the pain gone. He has suffered for over a year while insurance, etc., was being worked out. This last Wednesday, September 3rd, I had a right hip replacement. Yikes, are we nuts or what? The fun part is that we are exercising together and doing PT together. Makes it a bit more enjoyable. I am only two days out, but I am doing VERY well! Thank goodness.

This elicited a response from an old friend: Hope you both recover quickly! I love how you make the best out of any situation. Kristine A.

Two weeks after this response from Kristine, my life went into the dumpster. I realized that most of what was happening would never be known by my family, followers, readers, and friends. Why? Because I wouldn’t talk about it or post about it. Why?

Almost thirty years ago, I began my journey to accept what God had told me when I still lived in Montana: You’re 100% responsible for your response. You cannot blame circumstances or others for how your life feels. I’ve written about this experience and the fact that it took over ten years to stop being mad about this information and to accept it; five years while still in Montana with a struggling family, and five in Utah, as I worked to understand this truth.

A few years after arriving in Utah, I took a class from Kirk Duncan at Three Key Elements. In that class, we talked about negative energy and how harmful it can be to spill yours onto someone else. They shared healthy ways to deal with negative emotions and experiences, without dumping on others. Then, I took several classes where I began learning that how I perceived a thing, my story, was within my power to control. It was a lot to take in, but I was eager to learn the truth of what I had been told by God and stop fighting against it.

Two weeks after my surgery, when I began struggling, I thought about Kristine’s comment. I was reminded how important it is that those I care about know I’m not perfect, my life is not perfect, I struggle, and I still must work and practice to live true principles.

I’ve thought a lot about this over the last few months, since my surgery, and I decided to share some of what I experienced because it may be valuable to you when things go wrong in your day or life.

It’s imperative to understand that no one’s life is perfect or pain-free, and no one responds well all the time. If we believe this, then we are less likely to compare ourselves to others because we know we do not have the whole story. This is true even of those we are close to.

After my hip surgery, I was told I would recover faster than Don because of my pre-surgery activity. I needed to bottle salsa because we were out, and my surgery was on the 3rd of September. I asked the PA if I could do this before the canning season passed. He said, “You can do anything you have energy for. Your new hip was made to stand on.” I took him at his word. I was going up and down our two steps the day I got home from surgery, doing my regular caregiving things, dozens of times. A couple of days later, I was making salsa. It turned out great.

At the end of week two, I began having deep feelings of discouragement, depression, and anger. I was diligently trying to do what my reader said I was good at, making the best of any situation. I wasn’t succeeding, and I began to struggle with my story. Because Don was pain-free and I wasn’t, I must have hurt my new hip. I was a nitwit to keep up my caregiving routine, cooking, doing laundry, etc., and not spending more time sitting and resting. My husband was incontinent after his surgery, and I had to wash 4-6 pairs of outer pants every day. My mom still had dementia and needed help with everything. I didn’t see any way out. Because I was up and about and looked great, no one realized what was happening in my head.

I couldn’t lie down without pain, so I had to sleep in a borrowed recliner for two weeks. Don was in the other one. I need darkness, and he needs light. I wake at the slightest sound, and he can sleep through anything. I wasn’t getting good sleep at night. I woke up often. I would look at the clock each time and say to myself, “Agggg, I only slept an hour and a half. What’s wrong with me?!” Every day was filled with fatigue, but I am who I am. I would get up and do what needed to be done. It’s my nature, but it added to the mental and emotional stress I was feeling. A full month passed.

Despite not understanding what was happening and feeling so discouraged, I pondered and prayed a lot, searching for information, resources, and solutions. I kept reminding myself that I have control over my story and how my life feels. I knew I needed more information than I had, that I needed help. Experience had taught me these things, and even though I wasn’t managing well, I remembered. I knew I needed to take a step.

I finally did a wise thing and sought support. I talked to my daughter. She had already begun seeing that there was a problem. She has a 19-year-old special needs daughter and three other teens. I didn’t want her to pick up any of my load, but I knew I needed help. She began doing small things whenever she came into our part of the house. She emptied the potty in Mom’s room, put more pants and Depends in the bathroom for Don, filled water glasses, did a load of dishes, etc. She asked me if we would share her evening meal, so I didn’t need to cook three times a day. She’s been sharing dinner with us for three months now, and some days I know it was a lifesaver. Beginning today, January 1, I’m taking it back. I’m ready. : )

Remember those prayers I said and the pondering I did? I was seeking information and resources. A week after taking that small step and talking with Jodie, a resource came. I have a scheduled call with my friend Joy every month. I got brave and told her the facts about where I was mentally and emotionally. She reminded me of a tool I knew about but hadn’t thought to use, tapping for health. I took her advice and put the tapping instructions on the wall across from the toilet. I began tapping every morning while saying my truth statements/affirmations. From the first day, I felt different. I could feel the anxiety, mental fog, and depression lessening.

Joy also mentioned that depression is part of healing and wasn’t happening because I was weak. What!! Could this be true? Here was new information. A light bulb went on, and I felt that what she was saying was true. In that moment, the story that I was a nitwit or had hurt myself caved in.

That same week, I got brave and mentioned how I was feeling with Laurie, the hospice nurse who comes and checks on my mom. She said, “Mary, depression is part of healing. It’s a reminder to rest and breathe. You’re OK, and it will pass.” There was my confirmation of the new information I had gotten from Joy. Laurie also told me that when we’re healing, we wake up at night because it requires energy to heal, and most of our healing occurs at night. So, waking up was also OK. Whew. Now, when I woke up, I would say to myself, “Wow, you’re doing some great healing!” The old story disappeared for good, and a new story took its place!!

Within a few days, I was feeling more myself. Within another month and a half, the fatigue was almost gone, and I could manage much better. I’m now four months out from hip surgery. Don has no hip pain, but I still do, occasionally. I know I haven’t hurt myself or overdone it; it’s just my healing process. I’m staying on top of my story. To solidify my story, when Don’s physical therapist came this last Wednesday, I asked him about it. He laughed and said something like, “You’re so busy. Sometimes your hip reminds you it’s still healing, but you’re OK.”

Here is the point

of this very transparent, vulnerable, and lengthy article – we are all doing our best, but it isn’t always enough. There are times when we need help, more information, and resources.

When I was in trouble, I utilized what I had learned from experience. When you’re struggling, they may help you.

1. Don’t dump your negative stuff on people. If you’re feeling negative, sit in the car and yell. Go outside and hug a tree and dump out all your frustration and anger, all your hurt.
2. Then begin seeking solutions. Take charge of yourself. Be willing to take a small step.
3. Ponder, pray, read, talk to a friend, whatever works for you, and seek information and resources. They are there, but you must take a step to find them. You must move. My first step was talking to Jodie. I wish I had done it in week two and not a full month out. I wouldn’t have sunk so far, suffered so much, and would have made quicker healing progress.
4. Remind yourself you’re in control of your story. If it stinks, take charge and do what you need to, to rewrite it. Stay out of blame, even if you want to blame the young P.A. for his youthful words. : ) You are 100% responsible for your response to whatever is happening.
5. Never judge yourself by what is happening on social media, in your neighborhood, at church, or among your friends. Comparing is always a slippery road to take.

The Truth

I put my best out there because I can help others when I do, but I am not always happy, gentle, cheerful, or in control. I have tough days, and I’m always working on a story of some kind. Just know we are pretty much all alike, succeeding and failing at the same time, and it’s OK. Here’s something I say to myself every morning. It’s one of my truth statements/affirmations: Every day, in every way, I am better and better.

Please know I will always tend toward the positive because I have spent over 30 years learning how to take responsibility for myself and my life, regardless of circumstances or what others do or say. I am practiced at it. Also know that I struggle still. Life has its ups and downs. There’s always something new to experience and figure out. Sometimes I’m successful in an effort, and sometimes I fail. That is life.

I want you to be brave and do what I have done. Practice taking 100% responsibility for you. Forgive others. Forgive yourself. Talk kindly to and about yourself, even when you mess up. Give others and yourself grace. Be patient when you don’t know what to do, even if it takes years to figure out. Remember, it took me ten years to stop raging and another ten to accept that I had 100% responsibility for my response. If you keep pondering, praying, learning, growing, and changing, you will find the resources and information you need.

Let this year be a year of personal growth. Welcome 2026!

Five Principles of Power Series – The Importance of Anticipation

Christmas at our house was as if the windows of heaven had opened.

There were piles of shiny, colorful goods scattered all through the living room. As the oldest of nine children, I had the privilege of seeing every one of those childhood Christmases. What made it so wonderful wasn’t what was in each pile, but the abundance of goods scattered neatly about. Walking into that living room in the dimness of early morning, the red, green, and orange of the Christmas tree giving a soft glow, was magic.

My parents weren’t wealthy; in fact, I would say that we were in the lower half of the middle class most of the time and slipped even lower on occasion during my growing-up years. Their secret to such extravagance at this one time of year was the Five and Dime, the Dollar store of the past. There might be one long-sought-after item, while the rest was a world of possibilities, of hours of fun that we hadn’t even thought of.

The truth was that the contents of the piles didn’t radically change from year to year, that is, until we entered our teens; but until then, the same things, with a few changes, would be found year after year. We never grew tired of it because it was always about possibilities; it was freshly new. There would be color books, crayons, colored pencils, markers, scissors, glue, glitter, colored paper, pipe cleaners, sequins, paint, and chalk. We would find marbles, gyroscopes, pick-up sticks, etch-a-sketch, magic erase boards, silly putty, paddle balls, board games, and clay, which eventually gave way to playdough. There would be card games, flash cards of every variety, and paper dolls. There were small doll houses with furniture, people, cars, and animals. There were toy soldiers, cowboys and Indians, plastic farm animals with fences and barns, sewing cards, and an occasional kit. And don’t forget the books, lots and lots of delightful books. Things rarely squeaked, talked, boomed, crashed, or moved by themselves. All that had to be provided by us and our infinite imaginations. Those abundant and homely Christmases were a wonderful gift that our parents gave us. We knew what was coming for the most part, but my parents had a way of making it all seem so special.

What made them even more wonderful was the sense of anticipation.

If we want our children to engage with family work, family meals, and family activities, it’s helpful to create a sense of wonder and possibility, to increase the sense of anticipation. This can happen more often when you remember and use the 5 Principles of Power: Structure time and be consistent, remain present, make it special, keep it simple, and plan ahead.

When things you do as a family, even things kids don’t look forward to, such as family work, have a sense of anticipation, they go better. The content of the activity doesn’t have to be amazing or new to have the success my parents had at Christmas. When there is a sense of anticipation, your family will work together better, enjoy each other more, and even do homework with less fussing. : )

Let’s look at family work because I know you are all saying, “No way will this be successful.” : )

Structure time and be Consistent – Let’s say you’ve set Thursday evening for your family to work together and get the basic chores done. Notice I didn’t choose Friday or Saturday. If you have teens, they will be busy. : )

You remain present with your kids. You check on each one over the time you have committed to this family activity. An hour is good. Look in a bedroom door, “Hey, how’s it going?” “Need any help?” “Wow, you’re doing a good job!” “Here, let me help you with that.” Stop by the child doing dishes and rinse a few, while smiling. Check on the one doing the bathroom and wink as you make a funny comment.

Make it special – When you finish the work, serve ice cream cones. Maybe watch a TV show together. Possibly, you sit at the table and tell jokes or play a game. Every family’s different. What does your family love?

Keep it simple – Have chores assigned and rotate them. Everyone knows what they need to do each Thursday.

Plan ahead – Know if there are any school or community activities coming up that could interfere and adjust. Remind everyone the day before, “Remember tomorrow night is Family Work Night. We’re going to have Oreos and milk.”

When you create a feeling of anticipation and are consistent, then even family work can be successful. Remember, nothing is perfect. Some weeks, family work may not be as successful as others, but your consistency, over time, will make a difference.

When you want to engage with a child or your family, ask yourself the question: “How can I create a sense of anticipation by using the five principles of power in this situation?”

Success is possible for any family that learns and uses the five rules.

Peter and the Boy – A True Christmas Story by Lynda Huddleston

My mother had a stroke in February. She wasn’t doing well and was put in hospice. In the ensuing months, she had an astonishing recovery and will be leaving hospice at the end of December. Her current nurse, Laurie, said it’s a joy because it rarely happens.

Our hospice caregivers have been wonderful, and we’ve enjoyed getting to know them. They have made a difference in our lives. This week, we had a visit from Lynda Huddleston, who is the chaplain currently visiting us. She brought a story she had written to read to Mom. It shares a true event that happened at Christmas, when she was working in a care center.

I sat and wept as she read. It was a beautiful example of the gifts we give to others when our hearts have been touched. I asked Lynda if I could share it with you, my readers, and listeners. Thankfully, she said, “Yes.” These will be some of the best moments you spend as we wind down this Christmas season. ENJOY! Merry Christmas.

Peter and the Boy

On the second Friday of the month, in the front room of our assisted living, you could always find music, laughter, and the soft rustle of anticipation—along with most of the ladies leaning in a little closer as Cowboy Andrew began to sing.

Tall beneath his Stetson, with a baritone smooth as molasses, he filled the room with country songs that stirred memories and sometimes tears. Andrew had been part of our calendar long before I joined the staff, and none of us imagined the day would come when he would need us. But when he chose our community for his father, Peter, to spend his last days, we were honored beyond words.

Peter arrived frail and worn from years of illness. When first diagnosed, doctors had given him less than a year to live. Yet when he came to us, he was in his sixth year—still defying the odds. While he was able to enjoy more time with his family during these gifted years, he also endured more than most: the quiet passing of his wife, the dimming of sight in one eye, and the slow betrayal of a once-strong body—the same one that had stood, steady and proud, on countless riverbanks, casting lines beside his boy. Yet through it all, Peter remained fiercely independent—determined to live, and eventually die, on his own terms. Most of us wondered how he had managed to hold on so long, through such battles, but Peter was sure there was something more for him.

We tended to his basic needs at first, waiting quietly, expecting little. But as the days passed and fall deepened, the air turning cooler outside our windows, Peter seemed to gather strength along with the season. Soon, his voice grew lighter, his appetite returned, and his one special request—Diet Pepsi on ice—became a daily ritual.

Even from his bed, his presence still filled the room. A former Air Force officer and instructor, his frame carried quiet authority. We introduced him to the other gentlemen, and before long, his room became a favorite gathering spot. They swapped stories of hunting and fishing, shared memories of service, and laughed over old times. With Andrew beside him, the bond of father and son was plain to see.

Peter never asked for much, but he welcomed the company. We carried coffee hours into his room, complete with cookies—which he enjoyed with such delight that we suspected they meant as much to him as the conversations. Day by day, he taught us the beauty of savoring small gifts.

As December came and we realized Peter would most likely not see another holiday season, we began to look for ways to include him in the festivities. One particular evening, a storm was blowing hard across town. Snow fell thick and heavy, and for a time, we weren’t sure if our visitors would make it. But slowly, car after car pulled in, headlights glowing through the snow, doors flying open as laughing, joyful teenagers poured into our building, brushing snow from their coats.

They were a large local youth group of thirty—too many for one area—so we divided them into six smaller groups. Each rotated through different areas of the building where residents were eagerly waiting—some sang carols, some shared holiday messages, and others told stories about their favorite ornaments. Peter’s room was one of the stops, and I had gathered the men of the building there, along with Peter and his son Andrew.

Before bringing each group to Peter, I paused with them in the hallway. With his permission, I explained what they would see: Peter’s illness showed—he was thin and frail—but he was also very much alive and eager for their company. I told them this would most likely be his last holiday season, and that their presence here, on a cold December night, was a gift beyond measure.

One of the groups was a circle of boys around fourteen or fifteen. Each had brought along a favorite ornament, their faces lighting up as they told the stories behind them. One boy, about fourteen, carried a homemade gingerbread ornament he had made years before. He laughed as he told how every Christmas he had to fight his brothers to keep them from eating it, his voice animated as he relived the battles and the triumph of seeing it hung on the tree each year.

As I watched each group enter and then leave Peter’s room, I was overwhelmed and moved at the understanding on their faces of the significance of those moments. What began as a simple holiday visit was transforming into something sacred, a memory none of us would ever forget.

A night of routine activity was becoming magical.

As the last rotation wrapped up, we gathered everyone, residents and youth, into the front room. All of the residents were sitting in a large circle with the youth surrounding them. As we thanked them all for the stories and treats, we decided to sing a few Christmas carols before they left. The beauty of their voices—young and old, all singing together—filled the room with holiday joy and spirit; overwhelming and touching.

As we were singing, I felt a tug at my shirt. I turned to see the young boy with the gingerbread ornament motioning for me to join him in the dining room. With tears on his face, he asked if it would be okay for him to give his ornament to Peter. The ornament he had fought for years to protect, he now wanted—no, needed—to give to Peter.

I stood watching as he placed the ornament in Peter’s hands, and saw the smile on Peter’s face as he realized how deeply the boy’s heart had been touched in giving him this gift. I was reminded how powerful a simple gesture can be.

Peter hadn’t defied the odds and stayed longer for himself, or because he feared letting go. He had lived a full and good life and was at peace with where he was going. There was simply one more purpose to fulfill.

Peter was here for the boy. To leave a mark that would outlast his own days. To show him, in a way words never could, that a single moment of kindness can echo for a lifetime.

I have no doubt in my heart that this young boy was changed that night—and someday will touch someone else’s heart with the story of Peter and the Boy.

Written by Lynda Huddleston.

Thank you, Lynda, for letting me share.

 

Lynda is a certified End of Life doula and chaplain for Primrose Homecare and Hospice. The picture is of her and the original gingerbread boy.

How Being Inspired Transforms the Quality and Effectiveness of Our Education

Inspiration To Become A Cake Decorator

When I was in ninth grade, I moved to Salt Lake City. I was intimidated by the size of the building, the number of students, and how challenging the work was. My grades dropped into the bucket. It was a long year!

At Easter, I noticed a beautiful sugar egg in the home economics room. It was the upcoming project. I asked if the ninth graders were going to do it, only to find that it was reserved for the Juniors and Seniors. I knew I would never get to make one because we moved too often.

I wanted to make that egg. I asked the teacher if I could please have a copy of the directions. She gave them to me. I had been INSPIRED, and the teacher had responded.

I had none of the hard materials needed for the project. So, I improvised. Instead of a plastic egg mold, I used an empty Leggs nylon container. Instead of pastry bags, I used bread sacks with a hole cut in a corner. Instead of plastic bunnies and chicks, I used hand-drawn figures. My mom had those eggs for years. They were terrible! I was happy with them and thought they were beautiful. This initial inspiration and desire began a 50+ year love affair with cake decorating.

One of the most enjoyable things I did with this decorating spark was teach thousands of children and adults to make gingerbread houses. My family and I gave hundreds away to homeless shelters and community centers. I taught all my children and grandchildren to make them. Every year, I helped my kids help their friends make gingerbread houses in their school classes. I’ll bet you can tell this became a family tradition. In fact, just this Saturday, Jodie went to Maggie’s special needs class, and they all made a gingerbread house.

Just Before Christmas Essay Competition

I am sharing this story of my fascination with decorating because in 2010, I hosted a Just Before Christmas Essay Competition. The prize was a kit so the family could do this wonderful activity.

The topic was The Inspiration Connection: How Being Inspired Transforms the Quality and Effectiveness of Our Education. The winner was a friend of mine who lived in Nevada. Her boys were older teens. I sent the kit, and they all had a fabulous time making their houses.

Jody Jarvis was a homeschool mom. However, her beautiful essay applies to all families regardless of how you choose to educate your kids. It applies to school subjects and anything we want to inspire our kids to learn or participate in. When decorating came into my life, I was inspired. Jody shares a great example of how inspiring her kids and being an example increased their desire to learn and participate in a family activity.

All these years later, Jody lives just a couple of miles from my home. I have visited her and recently attended a big family event. It was fun, and one of the things that got me to reread her winning essay. Enjoy.

The Inspiration Connection: How Being Inspired Transforms the Quality and Effectiveness of Our Education

by Jody Jarvis

When educational experiences are required, the result is bored students, who daydream, who memorize the minimum required, and forget it the next day. For the student, the learning experience seems to drag on forever (“Are we done yet?”), and minutes seem like an eternity. For the teacher, it seems like pulling teeth just to get the student to participate.

When educational experiences are inspired, the result is excited students who focus on the activity with zeal, who go above and beyond the expected, and remember it the rest of their lives. For the student, the learning experience seems to fly by (Are we done already?!), hours seem like mere minutes. For the teacher, it feels as if the student is pulling them along instead of the other way around, or that the student is hot on their heels and the race to the finish could be won by either participant – them or the student.

Recently, I had an experience in both scenarios. My kids and I participated in an online class and had to read several classic books. Two stood out. One was called Mythology by Hamilton. While the stories themselves can be considered classic, our family’s opinion of this rendition was not great. It was dry reading, and we had to push ourselves to even try. None of us finished the book, with me having read the least of the three of us. We did it only because it was part of the class, but it seemed to drag on “FOREVER!!” We tried to read the minimum required, but couldn’t even pull that off. Our attention, as we read, was on other things, and so, for the most part, I do not think we will remember much of what we read.

The other story was a different experience altogether. It was called Elantris by Brandon Sanderson. We couldn’t read it fast enough. We couldn’t put it down. Since we read separately to mark our books with our personal ah-ha’s and underline our favorite lines, I was ahead of the boys in the story. When I got to the exciting parts, I would exclaim over the storyline or hint that something amazing was coming up. But I wouldn’t tell them what it was. “You have to read it yourself!” I would say. I didn’t want to spoil it for them. They tried their best to catch up to where I was. There came a time when none of us could put the book down; we just had to see how it turned out.

To get my kids (and me) to read the first book, we had to remind each other, set aside time each day, remind each other that it was part of a class assignment, and remind each other again of our need to read it. In other words – require. To get them to read the second book, all I had to do was give them a taste of how much I was enjoying it, to add a little mystery and suspense, and be the example. In other words – inspire!

What did we learn from the first book? Not much, really. Maybe a tiny bit about the Greek Gods and how depraved they were, but not much else, and I am sure we will forget whatever it was we did get out of it in a matter of weeks, perhaps.

What did we learn from the second book? Tons! We learned about different leadership styles, we learned that a leader must continue even when it gets hard, and we learned about compassion, strategy, love, and loyalty.

The difference was partly the books we read (one was very dry, the other exciting and thrilling). But I also believe that my example as a parent played a huge part. I lost interest in the Mythology book. I decided I needed to work on other things (convincing myself that since I wasn’t a true member of the class, I didn’t need to finish the reading). How might this have played out differently if I had put more effort into learning about Mythology with my kids? How might it have been different if I were excited to read the book, read it ahead of them, and enticed them with hints of what was to come in the next chapters? I was excited by Elantris, and my enthusiasm pulled my kids along. When they were asked which was their favorite book in the class, they both said Elantris. Least favorite? I’ll leave it to you to guess, but I bet you already know.

Now, what should I inspire them

about next…?

A Children’s Christmas Play – Enjoying Kids Being Kids

Maggie’s stander.

A fun Christmas season activity is watching children perform Christmas plays. When Maggie was five and Jack was three, they had the opportunity to be in a play depicting the First Christmas. All the actors were under eleven, and many were under five years old. Maggie has severe cerebral palsy, which posed challenges; fortunately for her, Cindie Walker, her best friend, was the director. Maggie needed to be placed in a stander to participate in an upright position, without her wheelchair. Cindy had spent a great deal of time with Maggie and wasn’t put off by what was required to work with her. In fact, the beauty of this director was that she wasn’t put off by working with any of the children, no matter how young. She had a vision that I loved. It wasn’t about the outcome, but about how everyone would feel when it was over.

I know you’ll get a kick out of how this play went, what it took to bring it about, the outcome of everyone’s efforts, and the blessing it was for those who performed and watched. I know you’ll love the photos. I also know that it will prompt you to reflect on how you interact with children when things get messy. Enjoy every delightful minute of my long-ago experience. Merry Christmas! As always, there will be a lesson at the end. : )

The First Practice

One of the angels wanted to look like a pirate. He was desperate to look like a pirate and was insistent! All the angels were taking off their halos because they itched. The angel who was supposed to say, “Follow the star”, felt it was more important to say, “Point to the star.” That was his plan come play night.

The Roman soldier kept pulling on his robe and saying, “I look silly.” Mary kept losing her headpiece. Maggie, my granddaughter with cerebral palsy, was supposed to wear a headpiece. That was not going to work at all. She was supposed to say, “We are afraid”. She said it the best she could, as her ability to speak was minimal, and she said it with a huge smile. She couldn’t find it in herself to look afraid. Many small shepherds were wandering about, trying to figure out where they were supposed to be.

This is what it’s like working with children, especially young or special needs children. You can pull out your hair or feel joy at the experience you’re giving them.

These children were in luck. Cindy Walker smiled through the chaos. She gently called the small children back into place. She helped with lines that would never be memorized. She replaced halos, headpieces, and robes, and kept smiling. She didn’t laugh out loud at the silly things the children said and did, even though she wanted to.

She told me it didn’t matter how the play went. No matter what, she wanted parents to smile, children to feel good, and hearts to be touched. For her, perfection wasn’t what mattered. Even reasonably well run wasn’t at the top of her list. She wasn’t worried about what others would think about the result. She wanted every child to have a wonderful time, to feel proud and happy about their efforts, and for the spirit of the season to be abundant and warm.

The Second Practice/Dress Rehearsal

None of the angels, all 3 and under, would wear their costumes. This did not bode well! Joseph and Mary weren’t sure they liked their parts, especially saying, “I’m going to have a baby!” The soldier still felt silly. Headpieces were still falling off, belts were missing, halos still itched, no one remembered where they were supposed to stand, many parts were not memorized, and the little shepherd still smiled when saying, “We are afraid.”

Cindy, bless her heart, was still smiling. She replaced headpieces, reminded children of their lines, and gently called small angels and shepherds into place. Her concern for the children and how they felt was still her top priority. She reminded herself and other adults that this play was about having an experience, learning to do something new, feeling good, and having fun. It wasn’t about perfection.

The Performance

Behind the scenes, chaos reigned; there was noise, lots of it. There were many moms and even more children moving around. Cindy was running madly from one crisis to another, hoping everything would fall reasonably into place.

BEGIN!!!

All the angels wore their costumes. WOW!! All the headpieces stayed on, except for our happy little shepherd, who still smiled broadly as she said, “We are afraid!” Joseph and Mary were still not thrilled.

The little angel who wanted to say “Point to the star” wouldn’t leave his dad’s side and come on stage until all the other angels left the stage, and the shepherds were on their way in. Then he went and sat by the baby Jesus and made happy boy sounds with his plastic cup! (This was my grandson, Jack, age 3.) As the shepherds, wise men, and angels gathered around the baby Jesus, it was a mob, juggling each other for a space, mostly with their backs to the audience.

The audience sang loudly as each carol was introduced. Parents smiled, children felt good, and hearts were touched. Eyes were wet. The play was reasonably well run. Cindie was happy, despite being tired. What mattered had gone perfectly. Every child had a wonderful time. They each experienced something new. They felt proud and happy. The spirit of the season was abundant. Ah, success!

When we work with children, whether in a play, doing a craft, or baking, etc., we need to be prepared for childlike behavior. The more open we are to letting kids be kids and working gently and joyfully with them, the better the outcome will be. We will walk away happy and fulfilled, rather than drained. We won’t mind the mess, the silliness, or what doesn’t go as planned. That was the brilliance of Cindie’s vision. This is what being present with kids looks like.

This is what success looks like.

When Things Go Wrong

The article I had prepared to post on November 30, 2025, had been published in 2017. My Excel sheet wasn’t as in order as it needed to be. Instead of getting another article ready at the last minute, I wrote a note to my readers and sent it out via the Sunday newsletter. It made an impact, and I got emails. I realized that I had written an article with an important message without even knowing it. So, I’m posting it on the website and recording it. If it helped last Sunday, then it may be of help in the future. So here you go:

When Things Go Wrong

I mentioned last spring that I was in the process of speeding up the transfer of articles from my old website, Home School Coach, to this newer, more universal site. Not all the articles will be rewritten, but most will be. I’ve been working on this project since the new site went up in August of 2017, but I had over 600 articles on the old site. There were always new things to write about, so only a few rewrites made it to the new site. You can see the enormity of the project. : )

I have an Excel sheet that has a link for every article posted from April 2010 until March 2017. When an article has been rewritten, I put the date it was published on the new site, Relationship Transformations for Busy Parents.

A month and a half ago, I sat down to determine what articles I might want to rewrite in November and December. I put them in my blog file with the date I planned to publish them. I was happy about the one I had planned for November 30. It had been published on December 8, 2011, and was titled Easy Christmas Crafts and Gifts for Kids to Make.

Last week, I spent time doing a fabulous rewrite. I knew it would come in handy for busy moms who wanted to help their kids give gifts from the heart. In fact, that was the new title, Giving Gifts From the Heart.

So, What Went Wrong

Last Friday, I did the final edit and put it on the website. I finished the formatting and was ready to do the newsletter. I wanted to see if there were any articles related to the topic that I could link to the article for the 30th. I opened a second window in my current website and searched. WHAT!!! The very article I had spent hours rewriting was already on the new site. It was titled Help Kids Give Christmas From the Heart and had been published on 12/8/19.

I sat there in shock! How did that happen? I knew I had probably been interrupted and never got the date that it was rewritten and published, added to the Excel sheet. Here’s the problem. I work very hard to NOT have any writing to do on Saturday. I never really have a free day, but I try to do my cleaning on Thursday and have my writing finished by Friday, so I don’t have any deadlines on Saturday. Such a bummer.

I am very consistent, and I always do what I say. These are part of my way of being. So what was I going to do? I perused my list of upcoming articles, and there was another great Christmas one I could rewrite on Saturday and keep my commitment. That was my plan.

However, I have been tutored by God this year on several additional ways of being. One is looking at a situation, deciding what matters most, and determining how best to problem-solve. As I worked through my morning routine Saturday, I kept feeling like there was something just as valuable as rewriting an article. Hmmmm. What could that be? After all, I have committed to publishing an article every Sunday at 9 am, and consistency matters.

Here is what ultimately came to my mind. “People want to hear from you, Mary Ann. Sometimes you say something that impacts their lives in a big way. At other times, they smile and are just glad to hear from you. Let this Sunday be one of those days.”

So there it is. You will read the fun Christmas article I had planned for next week, next week. This week, you are hearing from me that I am OK, life is manageable, and that when things go wrong, there is always a solution that is a win-win.

I hope your Thanksgiving was happy and fulfilling. Mine was. I hope that as we enter the coming holiday season, we remember that everything won’t go as planned. Things will go awry, but we don’t need to fall apart. There are workable solutions if we remain calm and think it through. : )

I’ll be back next week,

and the article will be fun!