Category: Five Principles

The Spark Station in Action: Real Families, Real Results Part 2

Let’s Begin where We Left Off – Keep It Simple: When It’s Full, Stop

Here’s a rule I wish I had understood earlier: when your Spark Station is full, stop adding things. You want everything visible, easy to reach, and put away — then stop. If you want to add something new, take something out.

Chaos happens when the Spark Station is too full. Here’s the thing — it’s rarely the children who create that chaos. It’s the parents. We get excited. We find wonderful things. We keep adding. And then no one engages because no one can find anything, and the whole space feels overwhelming.

When my grandchildren were younger, I had a Spark Station. One day, I did a big purge. I took nearly everything out. What remained were some books and materials on rocks that my grandchildren had been studying, some new craft supplies for an upcoming holiday, and the magnets — because the children never tired of them. That’s it. Simple, colorful, and interesting.

It also helps to reevaluate the contents every few months. Have children outgrown certain things? Are there games gathering dust, are there completed projects, or supplies that have lost their appeal? Take them out. Nothing in the Spark Station is permanent. It’s a living, changing space, and that’s what keeps it working.

Plan: Keep Your Eyes Open

Planning doesn’t have to be complicated or time-consuming. The mother who found dollar insect items at Target wasn’t sitting at a desk with a planner. She was simply paying attention to what her boys loved, and when she saw something that sparked them, she acted on it.

That’s the kind of planning I’m talking about. Watch your children. Listen to what they talk about. Notice what makes their eyes light up. What does your family like to do together at home — read, play outdoors, create games? Think about upcoming holidays. What’s happening in your family? What did you love as a child? Keep a running list if that helps. Then regularly sit down — even for thirty minutes — and think about what you might add or remove in the coming days. If parents have something specific they want to introduce, they can use the Spark Station to get the ball rolling.

Every Family Is Different — Don’t Be Afraid to Re-Tool

My daughter, Jodie, has four children, all of whom are teenagers. When she first started using the Spark Station, they were 7, 5, 3, and 18 months.

Jodie had decided to homeschool for a couple of years. Jack, her five-year-old, was convinced he needed a ‘real teacher’ — meaning anyone other than his mother.

I helped Jodie put together her first Spark Station. We chose wonderful hands-on items — sewing cards, coloring books and fresh crayons, magnets, a salt shaker with toothpicks to drop through the holes, dry-erase boards, games, books, colored pencils, and notebooks. We also added several special science projects, a family interest: a homemade coloring book, library books about scientists, a mobile to make, and a baking project.

The night before their first official use of the Spark Station, Jodie helped her kids make Earth spheres out of Rice Krispies treats, a family activity not part of the Spark Station. The kids loved it. They discussed how the Earth was created and how scientists continue to learn more. Jack was all over it.

When the Spark Station was opened, Jack took one look and said, “Mom, your school is boring. I’m going to cancel your school.” Disaster.

So, Jodie re-tooled. She removed the special learning projects. The simple, fun, hands-on items remained. The little ones dove right in. And Jack? He looked up and said, “Mom, I want to learn about knives.”

Jodie got a few knives, a tomato, and some potatoes. They spent the next hour learning about serration, sharp edges, how knives are used, and what it means to observe — which, as it turns out, was the exact topic of their first science project. Fabulous time. Sneaky mom.

The lesson here is not that you will always get it right on the first try, whether you’re using it as part of your school ambitions or for family activities. The lesson is that when something isn’t working, you step back, take a good look, and retool. Every family’s different. The rules stay the same, but how you apply them will be uniquely yours.

What About the Hard Days?

There will be times when your carefully planned Spark Station sits untouched while your child plays dress-up in the corner. There will be days when the baby’s screaming, the toddler’s grabbing everything in sight, and you wonder why you ever started this. There will be days — and I say this with love — when your five-year-old looks at everything you’ve prepared and tells you it’s boring. There will be days when you take out a book for family reading and your teenager goes to sleep. There will be days when you get the materials for a new outdoor game, and your 13-year-old daughter sits glumly on the sidelines because this doesn’t interest her.

That’s normal. In nearly every family I’ve mentored, we’ve had to talk about this. The Spark Station is designed to inspire families and kids, not require.

If today’s a disaster, remember the thing that matters most: the Spark Station’s greatest purpose is not the activity, it’s the connection it creates between you and your children over time. If no one wants to engage today, sit down, read, or talk about an upcoming holiday, trip, or family event. Next time will be better.

You Are the Model

I once asked a mom what had drawn her to my class on the Spark Station, though she had never heard of it before. She said she read the description and thought, “That’s a good idea.” The line that caught her eye was this: “Would you like a system that helps you more effectively structure creative connection time?”

That’s it. That’s what we’re all looking for. Not a perfect system, not a perfectly stocked Spark Station, but a reliable, workable way to show up for our children and make being together, playing together, and learning together a joyful part of family life.

The Spark Station gives you that system. But you’re still the heart of it. If you want your children to love learning, let them see you learning. If you want them to read, let them see you reading. If you want them to be curious about the world, be curious yourself. If you want them to engage with the family, then put down your phone, turn off the TV, and engage with them consistently. You put on your oxygen mask first, and then you help them with theirs.

The families who see the most transformation with the Spark Station are not the ones with the most creative content. They’re the ones who show up consistently, stay present, keep it simple, and keep going even when a day falls flat.

That’s the whole secret.
And now you have it.

The Spark Station: Everything You Need to Know to Build One

When I was in fifth grade, I learned to crochet. It wasn’t easy to learn. I had never done anything like it before. I felt all thumbs, and it wasn’t always easy to conceptualize what it was I was supposed to do. With time, I did learn, and I made a small purse. My teacher coached me through almost every row until it was done. I still have that purse.

The next hurdle was learning to read actual directions. Yikes. It was like reading Greek. I had learned how to crochet, but without a teacher constantly at my elbow or being able to read the directions, I couldn’t really use my new skill. To learn to read directions, I had to go back to the beginning and learn to connect the skill with the actual execution of a pattern.

The same is true for the Spark Station. You may have heard me mention it, but hearing about it and actually creating and using one are two different things. This April, I’m going to give you the instructions you need.

Why The Name Change

When I decided I needed a new name for this amazing family connection tool, our youngest child was having her first baby. We were all excited about it.

When a new baby comes to a family, a lively search for a name ensues. The mother-to-be probably has a few she has carried in her head since she was a girl. The father may have a football hero or two with names he really likes. Our daughter and her husband went through quite a list looking for the perfect name.

The question is, how to choose a name? For our first child, we watched a movie. Two weeks before our due date, we still had no names picked out. Back then, you didn’t know which you would have, so you had to have two names ready. We were watching a Disney movie, and, in the credits, we saw the name Jodie. Eureka, the perfect name – perfect for no other reason than that it sounded good, and we liked it.

With all our other children, we went through a similar scientific process. One was named after a best friend, one was named after a song I liked, one came from the Bible, another was named…and that’s how it went. Later, I realized each name had a meaning and energy attached to it. Maybe we should have put more thought into choosing them, but you can’t go back and change a child’s name. For better or worse, it is what it is.

Fortunately, that’s not true in business! I knew I wanted to change the name of my family connection tool and searched for the perfect one for over a year. I wanted to make the change for several reasons.

•My printer said he loved my Closet Mastery Course, teaching how to use the tool, but had to look inside because he wondered if I was training people to come out of the Closet.
•When people asked me what I did, and I told them I showed parents how to create a Closet to connect as a family, I got confused looks and then the inevitable “So, how does a clean closet help them connect as a family?”
•Many parents told me they loved the tool but didn’t have a closet to use and were stuck.
•It seemed odd to call the tool The Closet and then tell people they could use a box, a bag, a drawer, or any container they liked – or even no container at all.

The name was problematic. I needed a name that spoke to what the tool was all about. I wanted a name descriptive of what made the tool so effective in helping families connect and making learning fun.

The Spark Station. I love that name. Let me tell you what the Spark Station is and how it can change the way your family connects.

The Spark Station

The Spark Station is about what’s inside, not what holds it. It can be a box, a plastic tub, a drawer, a closet shelf — or no container at all. It’s a place for cool learning and connection materials that inspire your children and bring your family together.

It’s designed to allow children to choose from several activities and topics of interest and engage with them in their own way. When used correctly, it’s very helpful in relieving the tension that comes when parents require children to stay together as a family on a Sunday afternoon, learn about a topic they may be struggling with in school, or stop arguing on a boring Saturday afternoon.

The Spark Station isn’t just one thing. It looks different in every family, and sometimes there is more than one, depending on the activity. Take the Sunday Box, for example, a box filled with cool stuff that helped a real family gather on Sunday afternoons. That’s the beauty of the Spark Station. You can showcase things your children are already interested in, you can gather to learn something new together, or just have fun. It keeps interesting and inspiring materials close at hand, so children and families have a magical and exciting place to learn, play, and connect.

There are Rules for Success

Whatever your Spark Station looks like, it’s only available at certain times. It isn’t a space that children can access anytime they want. Doing this preserves the sense of anticipation that makes it sing to kids, like a siren’s song. In Leah’s family, their Spark Station (The Sunday Box) was only available to the family on Sunday. Another family that homeschooled used their Spark Station during their school hours. Another family made their Spark Station available for an hour after school so kids could unwind. This builds value and interest in the content.

During the time you have set aside to learn, play, or be together as a family, you gather together for the amount of time you have pre-determined and open the Spark Station.

Not every child will want to engage with the content every time it’s available. They should be free to play with whatever takes their fancy — or even just read or write instead. They need to remain with the family, but they don’t have to engage with the Spark Station contents. When that happens — and it will — don’t be discouraged. I know, you worked hard on that Spark Station! But this is normal. In almost every family I’ve mentored, we’ve had to talk about this. Allow your children the freedom to decide.

The Spark Station is a tool that helps parents inspire their children, at all ages, to love learning, to experience new things, and to connect as a family. It brings scheduled, consistent moments of discovery and joy into your home — and those moments matter more than you know.

This April, let’s build one together.

Five Principles of Power Series – A Marvelous Example of Being Present

When my youngest daughter, Kate, was a senior in high school, she was in an advanced writing class. One of her assignments was to write a poem using iambic pentameter. She was overwhelmed by the assignment and wasn’t clear as to what iambic pentameter meant. They had talked about it in class, but most of you will relate to how clear it was by the time she got home. LOL

I want you to know I’m not a fan of poetry, unless it comes from Mother Goose. I’m a bit ashamed to admit it, and I know that I owe it to myself to read some poetry before I die. : ) My daughter, however, liked it a lot. She really enjoyed Shakespeare. She had read all of his works and all of his sonnets, watched many plays, and acted the part of Hero from “Much Ado about Nothing” in 8th grade. Here is another confession- I have read Romeo and Juliet and seen The Taming of the Shrew. That’s it.

So, it wasn’t a happy circumstance when she came to me and asked for help. I had no idea what iambic pentameter was. But how could I say no to my daughter who needed my support? So, we sat at the computer together and began. We looked up iambic pentameter. We read it. We gave each other a blank stare and then read it again. Now I may not love poetry, but I’m pretty good at figuring out what I read. I began to understand and was able to explain it to her. Then she was off and running.

We talked over possible topics for her poem. Then she chose one, which happened to be her own idea. Way to go, Kate. She told me the story she envisioned her poem telling. It was good, really good. Then she wrote the first line. I can see us pounding out the syllables into our hands and changing words until there were exactly ten syllables per line. We would come up with ordinary words and then check the Thesaurus to find words that were more descriptive, elegant, or fitting for the time period and topic. It was fun. We laughed a lot.

She wrote and rewrote for over 3 hours. I was there the whole time. I made suggestions whenever she was stuck on a word or a thought and asked for help. She seldom used the word I suggested, but it would spark her mind, and then she would come up with the perfect word by herself. She would look at me with an excited smile, raise her hand, and say, “Gimmie five.” I would, at regular intervals, say, “This is good; it’s really good. You’re amazing!”

Be With Me While I Write

When Kate was in her first year of college, she took a creative writing class. One assignment was to create an imaginary author and describe his/her life. She was to present a piece of the imaginary person’s writing and then analyze it. She decided to rewrite the poem she wrote in high school about a sailor’s widow. She was adjusting it to tell the story of a Civil War soldier’s widow.

One day, I peeked in her room to say hi and see what she was doing. “Mom, come in and let me read this to you.” I went in, and she read it to me. Then she asked me to sit down and help her out.

We reminisced about the time we worked on the original poem together; all those great feelings came back. We laughed about the experience and how fun it had been.

I sat on the side of her bed and watched her use the Thesaurus and the dictionary to find words she needed. I saw her look up Civil War information and get a feel for the time period. I didn’t say much. Her poem was coming along great. Eventually, I stood up, patted her back, and left her to her work. She didn’t really need me. She had learned through experience what to do.

This is a marvelous example of being present. What Kate had needed in high school, she wanted to feel again while creating her imaginary author and what they would have written. She wanted me to be present, to feel my support, have some of my focused time, and sense my enthusiasm for what she was doing. These are the things all kids need from time to time.

Kate wrote her poem in high school by herself. She thought she was asking me to help her do it. What she really asked was, be with me, care about me, and learn with me. This is Principle Two from The Five Principles of Power – Be Present.

Kate is raising three children of her own, and she understands not only how to write a poem in iambic pentameter, but she also knows how to be PRESENT. Enjoy Kate’s work from her high school days.

It’s now a few decades old, but still wonderful.

The Widow’s Walk

By Kate Johnson

Upon the widows’ walk forlorn, she stands.
Face gray, indistinct in the morning mist.
Iron railing, cold portent in her hands.
Heartache knocks, upon her cheeks he kissed.
Annals of mariner’s wives keeping pace,
Back and forth, eyes on the horizon.
Lives lost forty leagues below without trace.
Possibility, worry like poison.
Bells peal out, mournfully telling of loss,
Belaying her breath, they tacitly mock.
Mind shrouded, forever bearing the cross,
Endlessly trudging the high widow’s walk.
Hope springs eternal; they shall meet anon
Sighs a chantey to a roseate dawn.

Five Principles of Power Series – The Importance of Anticipation

Christmas at our house was as if the windows of heaven had opened.

There were piles of shiny, colorful goods scattered all through the living room. As the oldest of nine children, I had the privilege of seeing every one of those childhood Christmases. What made it so wonderful wasn’t what was in each pile, but the abundance of goods scattered neatly about. Walking into that living room in the dimness of early morning, the red, green, and orange of the Christmas tree giving a soft glow, was magic.

My parents weren’t wealthy; in fact, I would say that we were in the lower half of the middle class most of the time and slipped even lower on occasion during my growing-up years. Their secret to such extravagance at this one time of year was the Five and Dime, the Dollar store of the past. There might be one long-sought-after item, while the rest was a world of possibilities, of hours of fun that we hadn’t even thought of.

The truth was that the contents of the piles didn’t radically change from year to year, that is, until we entered our teens; but until then, the same things, with a few changes, would be found year after year. We never grew tired of it because it was always about possibilities; it was freshly new. There would be color books, crayons, colored pencils, markers, scissors, glue, glitter, colored paper, pipe cleaners, sequins, paint, and chalk. We would find marbles, gyroscopes, pick-up sticks, etch-a-sketch, magic erase boards, silly putty, paddle balls, board games, and clay, which eventually gave way to playdough. There would be card games, flash cards of every variety, and paper dolls. There were small doll houses with furniture, people, cars, and animals. There were toy soldiers, cowboys and Indians, plastic farm animals with fences and barns, sewing cards, and an occasional kit. And don’t forget the books, lots and lots of delightful books. Things rarely squeaked, talked, boomed, crashed, or moved by themselves. All that had to be provided by us and our infinite imaginations. Those abundant and homely Christmases were a wonderful gift that our parents gave us. We knew what was coming for the most part, but my parents had a way of making it all seem so special.

What made them even more wonderful was the sense of anticipation.

If we want our children to engage with family work, family meals, and family activities, it’s helpful to create a sense of wonder and possibility, to increase the sense of anticipation. This can happen more often when you remember and use the 5 Principles of Power: Structure time and be consistent, remain present, make it special, keep it simple, and plan ahead.

When things you do as a family, even things kids don’t look forward to, such as family work, have a sense of anticipation, they go better. The content of the activity doesn’t have to be amazing or new to have the success my parents had at Christmas. When there is a sense of anticipation, your family will work together better, enjoy each other more, and even do homework with less fussing. : )

Let’s look at family work because I know you are all saying, “No way will this be successful.” : )

Structure time and be Consistent – Let’s say you’ve set Thursday evening for your family to work together and get the basic chores done. Notice I didn’t choose Friday or Saturday. If you have teens, they will be busy. : )

You remain present with your kids. You check on each one over the time you have committed to this family activity. An hour is good. Look in a bedroom door, “Hey, how’s it going?” “Need any help?” “Wow, you’re doing a good job!” “Here, let me help you with that.” Stop by the child doing dishes and rinse a few, while smiling. Check on the one doing the bathroom and wink as you make a funny comment.

Make it special – When you finish the work, serve ice cream cones. Maybe watch a TV show together. Possibly, you sit at the table and tell jokes or play a game. Every family’s different. What does your family love?

Keep it simple – Have chores assigned and rotate them. Everyone knows what they need to do each Thursday.

Plan ahead – Know if there are any school or community activities coming up that could interfere and adjust. Remind everyone the day before, “Remember tomorrow night is Family Work Night. We’re going to have Oreos and milk.”

When you create a feeling of anticipation and are consistent, then even family work can be successful. Remember, nothing is perfect. Some weeks, family work may not be as successful as others, but your consistency, over time, will make a difference.

When you want to engage with a child or your family, ask yourself the question: “How can I create a sense of anticipation by using the five principles of power in this situation?”

Mary Ann Johnson

Category: Five Principles