Author: Mary Ann Johnson

SPARKS = Loving to Learn

In the last two weeks, I’ve given you some information on Sparks and how to use them to connect with your children. In the article on March 10 – SPARKS – The Big Fail, I mentioned that when we learn to utilize Sparks, we can help our children love the idea of learning.

Kids have a lot to learn, and often, whether we homeschool or use public or private schools, the love of learning can get buried. We can’t prevent times when school is boring or too hard. But we can keep the desire to learn alive, as we utilize our children’s Sparks.

When I was speaking and teaching, I spent many hours helping parents use their children’s Sparks. I wrote LOTS of articles on the experiences actual families had. I wasn’t the only one experimenting and learning. Today’s article was written in 2012, the same year I had my big fail and many big wins.

My friend, Leah, was taking her family to Florida and wanted them to LOVE the trip and to LEARN a lot. She took the time to think it through and prepare her family for the trip. She got their minds going. Her children were older than my grands but her use of Sparks worked as well for her, as it had for me. We both knew what I wrote in the article two weeks ago – Life is about learning, and the best-lived lives happen when we continue to learn. Leah wanted this for her boys.

A FAMILY TRIP TO FLORIDA

Here is an email I received from Leah and my response. Then I will share what Leah did with the information and how the trip went.

Hi Mary Ann,
I have a favor to ask. I really need a “jump start” and I knew you could help me. I feel a little like I am in a brain freeze right now…We are taking the kids to Orlando for a huge Disney World trip. I want to inspire some Florida learning…but I need a tiny little jump start. Off the top of your head…could you walk me through some first starts? Just to get me motivated and the juices flowing. Just a few quick ideas of how or where I could start! Thank you! Leah S. (shared with permission.)

Here is what Leah was really asking – We have this terrific trip coming up. How can I get my children on board, be excited to learn, and have a great time too?

Here is what I came up with in just a few short minutes, seriously just a short time:

1. Start with a map. It’s fun for children to see where they live in relationship to where they are going. Attach the map to a wall and run a piece of yarn from your state to the one you visit. If you have older children, they can rubber cement the string along the major roads you will be traveling. (Just today, 3-19-24, my husband asked me to show him on a map where a relative lived, in relation to our daughter who lives in MO.)

When I was in school one of my favorite things was to make my own maps. You can print a map or draw one. Let your children find the information to complete their maps or do one map as a family.

Here are some things you can put on your maps– state capitol, the state abbreviation, the largest city, major rivers, and lakes, and major industries (find out what part of the state the industries are found and then draw a picture or glue a miniature to that area), state nickname, motto, and song.

Now you can draw a picture on the side of the map of the state flag, state bird, state tree, state flower, state mammal, and state water mammal, etc. This will not appeal to all children, but I would have loved it and so will others, especially if it is done as a family.

2. Know up front where you are going. States are big places and usually varied in their topography. So, plan ahead. Then you can go online and find out what fun things there are to do where you are going and what the landscape is like.

3. Get some great books from your library, with pictures and information about the state you are visiting. As you know from last week’s article SPARKS -The Big Win, I love books and so do my children and grands. When I have opportunities to learn with them, we begin with books.

4. Read a chapter book as a family. Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings loved and wrote about the people of Florida. She wrote The Yearling which takes place in Florida. There is also a state park in Florida called the Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings State Park.

5. Get some books about the odd and wonderful animals you can find in Florida: dolphins, manatees, panthers, alligators, etc. Play charades using only the animals and birds found in Florida.

6. Learn about some of Florida’s famous sports teams.

7. Give each child a journal, rubber cement, etc. so they can write about the trip, and capture photos, postcards, and other mementos, rather than waiting until they’re back home. In the moment there is more excitement and enthusiasm for the job.

These fun ideas make learning about any state interesting and exciting. When you have a family trip coming up you can do many things to interest and excite your children. Begin talking weeks before the trip. Have mini-conversations and dinner conversations. Have conversations in the car, driving from one appointment to another. Get the fire going.

PREPARING FOR THE TRIP

The next day Leah emailed back and confirmed what I had been teaching moms and dads for years. When you step out and start, resources (thoughts) show up no matter what you’re trying to accomplish. I want you to see what happens when you start, even if you are scared, don’t know anything, or feel unable. Here is Leah’s email. (Shared with permission.)

Hi Mary, I emailed you during some feelings of doubt in my efforts and frustration (you may have been able to tell). My 9-year-old, Miles, was looking over my shoulder reading my email, so I was a little embarrassed that he may have seen it. I tell you that because I wanted to start TODAY with Florida stuff. So, I did just that…just stared…started with a map.

labeling, tracing, and coloring. We traveled from Utah on the map state by state. We looked at all the states we would fly over and talked about what we might see out the window.
Then we got into the explorer Ponce de Leon for a while, and are getting more info on him and his explorations. We talked about the American Revolution and how Florida was under Spanish rule.

Then we got to the Seven Mile Bridge in the Florida Keys; now we are studying bridges, how they’re constructed, and even building a bridge for our hot wheels out of popsicle sticks. got us cars came about because the original bridge wasn’t necessarily designed for automobiles. What was it like to live without cars, when in history did they begin to have cars? Then we went into boats and how they cross these bridges. We built a bridge out of Unifix cubes and tried at dinner to use our spoons and forks to understand how they could anchor pillars, or the like, into the ocean to sustain a seven-mile-long bridge!

Then we got into how long seven miles is and the running race held on the bridge every year. I could go on and on, ALL in ONE day. And we could have done more.

I was exhausted though and ran out of time! : ) Now I have so much more to go on, thanks to you. The kids are thrilled and say it makes more sense when they know about the place they’re going. Thank you, thank you for your quick response. I do have a lot of faith in you and always will! Love, Leah”

HOW DID IT GO?

These kinds of activities and conversations went on for the few weeks before the trip. The kids were so on board. They loved learning all this cool stuff. There were awesome dinner conversations and car conversations.

When Leah and her family returned from their trip to Florida, she told me it was AMAZING!! One of the things that made it so amazing was planning ahead, creating a Spark and then a roaring fire, teaching, and being with her boys. The process had them very excited and created great anticipation.

When you watch for Sparks, and then respond, it can be magical for your family and help children have a lifelong desire to learn, no matter what happens in their schooling.

Sparks – Watch and respond. It makes a difference.

SPARKS – The BIG Win!

Last week I shared information about Sparks and how valuable they can be in building child-parent relationships. I also shared my big failure when it came to one of my grandsons Sparks. Let’s have a quick review.

In my book Becoming a Present Parent  I wrote that the value of seeing your child’s Sparks is that it’s a wonderful way to get Present with your child. It’s powerful not only in helping them love learning but also in creating tighter relationships. So, what is a Spark? Simply put, a Spark is anything that a child says or does that lets you know they’re interested in something right now.

Last week I told you that over the next couple of months, I would randomly share examples of Sparks, how fun they can be, and how connecting. Today, I want to share a BIG win. This, like the fail, took place in 2012.

The Octopi Spark

Ring! Ring! “Hello.” “Grandma, I want to learn about octopuses.” When there is a “spark” you have to jump on it. Remember my elephant fiasco?

What is octopus plural?

According to Merriam-Webster, throughout history the word “octopus” has been pluralized as octopuses, octopi, and the more unusual octopodes. Any of the three options is fine proving that grammar isn’t always black and white. This is a fact that we learned while engaging in Jack’s Spark, octopuses. Jack, Maggie, Mary, and I thought you would like to know. : )

Books, books, books! We always start with books when following a Spark. My grands love books and books about octopuses were no exception.

This was the funniest thing we learned in our books – The octopus has a squirter (siphon or funnel) and he uses it to shoot backward. We practiced sucking in air, and then shooting it out as fast as we could and letting our hands shoot backward. Mary loved it, Jack was a bit unnerved, and Maggie just laughed.

Want a few more amazing facts to help kids learn about octopuses?

  • An octopus can open a jar lid to get at the food inside.
  • The octopus has a parrot-like beak – yikes and he isn’t even a bird!
  • An octopus has eight arms and no legs.
  • An octopus has no bones so it can wiggle into very tiny spaces.
  • An octopus hunts for food at night.
  • If an octopus is under attack it can squirt a cloud of black ink and get away.
  • Moray eels like to bite off octopus arms for lunch!
  • An octopus can change its color from black to white to red.
  • An octopus can change the texture of its body so it is hard to find.
  • An octopus’s home or lair is called a midden.

I love crafts that cost no money and use what I already have on hand. In this case. we used toilet paper rolls, construction paper, tape, wiggle eyes, and stickers. We created our own octopi and the grands had a grand time. No pun intended. I have given you instructions below so that you can help your kids make their own octopi. Last week I shared that you can light a Spark and use it the same as if it originated with the child.

Please notice Jack’s face. Because I jumped on this Spark he was fully involved. He enjoyed every minute we spent together.

As usual, we ended our activity with another very silly book about an octopus who almost became soup. The pictures were funny and Maggie, who is 5 ½, with cerebral palsy, laughed and laughed at the silly things that went on.

I must confess that we did not eat any octopus for lunch! We found chocolate teddy grahams, cheese, and hot dogs much more satisfying.

We had a wonderful time together laughing and learning. It was a fun Spark and we loved being together.

MAKE AN OCTOPUS

1. Cut the toilet paper roll in half. Measure it on your construction paper and draw a pencil line.

2. Cut eight strips (arms) from the edge of the paper to the pencil line.

3. Glue or tape the construction paper to the toilet paper roll with the arms hanging down.

4. Roll the arms on a pencil or marker so they curl up.

Books About Octopi

  • Octopuses by Michele Spirn
  • The Octopus by Mary M. Cerullo
  • Octopus soup by Mercer Meyer
  • Cowboy and Octopus by Jon Scieszka – I do not like this book but Maggie (5 1/2) laughed uproariously!
  • Octopuses, Squids, and Their Relatives by Beth Blaxland
  • Octopuses by Carol K. Lindeen
  • An Octopus is Anoying by Patricia Lauber
  • Gentle Giant Octopuses by Karen Wallace
  • My Very Own Octopus by Bernard Most
  • An Octopuses Garden by Stephanie Steve-Borden
  • Octopus Socktopus by Nick Sharratt
  • Have You Ever Seen an Octopus with a Broom by Etta Kaner

Watch for Sparks from your littles to your teens. Sparks will help you listen, enjoy, and bond.

SPARKS – The Big Fail!

Years ago, I spent a great deal of time with my grands that live in Utah. We lived one block away. This was before we consolidated our two families into a three-generation home. My daughter, Jodie, was homeschooling. At that time, I was teaching and mentoring mothers who homeschooled. Then I made a transition. I realized that many of the excellent things I was teaching applied to a whole spectrum of parenting, not just those who homeschooled.

Over the ensuing years, I have shared many of the lessons I taught to those long ago homeschool moms and have demonstrated how they apply to every family.

One of those lessons was the idea of Sparks. I wrote my first article on this cool subject in April of 2010. Wow, that was a long time ago. I love the idea of Sparks and have written many articles on the subject since then. In that early article, Sparks Bring Learning to Life. I explained what a Spark is and how it can help you, as a parent, help your child love the idea of learning. This is certainly valuable if you homeschool, but equally valuable if your children attend public or private school. Life is about learning, and the best-lived lives happen when we continue to learn. It is helpful when we show our children how fun learning can be and that is done best when we respond to their Sparks, the things they are already interested in.

In my book Becoming a Present Parent  I wrote that the value of seeing your child’s Sparks is that it’s a wonderful way to get Present with your child. It’s powerful not only in helping them love learning but also in creating tighter relationships. So, what is a Spark? Simply put, a Spark is anything that a child says or does that lets you know they’re interested in something right now. The article mentioned above will teach you how to recognize a Spark and then how to use it to create fun, family-learning moments, and to solidify your parent-child relationship.

Over the next few months, I want to share some examples of how I, and other parents, were able to use Sparks to connect with our kids. They are fun ideas that you can incorporate with your children, even if they haven’t shown up as a Spark, because you can also ignite Sparks. Light a spark and watch it burn!

Besides, it’s nice to have a quiver of ideas in your back pocket, especially with summer right around the corner and the sometimes boring days it brings. Learning slows down and tech takes over. It is useful to have some fun ideas and then gather your kids around for some non-tech enjoyment. We are talking about kids under twelve, but occasionally teens will hang around and even join in.

One of the reasons I’m going to tackle this issue of Sparks in the next couple of months is because I’m going to be spending LOTS of time caring for my grands. I fly to Seattle for a week, mid-month, where my grands range in age from almost twelve to four. Then it’s on to Colorado for a week. These grands range in age from married with kids, down to age four. I need a reminder, because as I see Sparks, I can respond, and our time together will be more powerful.

The article I am sharing this week was written in late 2011 and is about an epic failure in the Sparks arena. It illustrates the number one thing to remember about Sparks – the younger the child the shorter the Sparks shelf life. So when a Spark pops up you need to be prepared to respond. When you do, the results are amazing. Next week I will share a success.

Oh yes, one other thing. When children know you care about what they care about, regardless of the age of the child, they will open up because they know you care and will respond. This goes a long way in the relationship department, especially with teens.

CHILDREN LEARN BEST WHEN INTEREST IS HIGH

I go to the library once a month and get four weeks worth of material to share with my grands. On my last trip to the library, I got books about pre-math subjects. That’s where my focus was. However, Jack’s was on elephants.

Each week I visit my grands with my recognizable plastic bucket filled with interesting items. Two weeks earlier, when the bucket went visiting Jack said, “Hi grandma, you brought the bucket. I asked him if he knew what we were going to do that day and he got a huge grin on his face and said, “Yes, elephants.” I pulled out the contents and we had a fun afternoon, but no elephants were included.

The next week when I arrived, I asked Jack, “What do you think we are going to learn about today.” With a huge grin and a face that was lit with the sure knowledge that he knew, he yelled, “Elephants”. I knew right then that it should have been elephants. I had missed my opportunity to respond when the Spark was fresh.

When Jack said he wanted to learn about elephants he fully expected that he would find the materials available the next week. I could see his disappointment when it was something else. We had fun but I sensed he wasn’t fully enthusiastic because what he wanted to know about was elephants.

This last week I was prepared with information about elephants. Guess what – I had let the window of opportunity pass by! We did have fun, but I could see that the enthusiasm he had had two weeks earlier was not present. Imagine how joyous would have been our experience if I had materials about elephants the week before. It would have made a difference.

I am going to spill it and tell you why I didn’t have things going well when it came to elephants. Frankly, the first week I missed it. I heard him say elephants and I let it pass right through my head. I didn’t want to go to the library again, I wanted to use what I already had prepared, and I was excited about the pre-math stuff. Then I forgot about elephants until the next week when Jack’s happy, anticipation-filled face reminded me. I had been thinking about my needs and not Jack, so I had completely missed the Spark.

When I did show up with elephants in the basket on the third week it was fun, but Jack wasn’t as engaged as he sometimes is, and we didn’t do half of what I had prepared. The younger the child, the more important it is to hear and respond to a spark quickly. They move from one interest to another fast.

Tips to help you respond to your child’s Sparks

  • Have a consistent place to make notes to yourself. When Jack mentioned elephants, I should have written it down or noted it in my phone, so I wouldn’t forget. If the Spark requires a trip to the museum etc., you need help to remember because it will require planning. Although we should respond to a Spark as soon as we can, occasionally time will pass so have a way to remind yourself.
  • If you can’t make it to the library for books, then use the internet. It will only take 10 minutes max to print off a page of info. that you can read and prepare in your mind, as well as a few pictures. You can also all gather at the computer. Then while you share the pictures you can ask questions and slip in some facts. There are always craft ideas and cute lunch and snack ideas online for just about any subject. There are free worksheets and color pages online for any topic you can think of, including elephants. Add another 5 minutes and you can have those downloaded and printed.
  • Take another 10-15 minutes to gather your materials for crafts and plan snacks so that you can introduce something fun over the next few days. I always use what I have. I rarely make a special trip to the store. I am averse to buying when I can make do. So, if I need a straw and I don’t have one I call my husband and he stops at Wendy’s after work. If I need a feather and I don’t have one, I make one from paper. If I need sliced turkey and I don’t have it, I figure out how to make peanut butter or tuna work. In 30 min. or so, you can have wonderful ideas that work for a week or two, that help you respond to your child’s Spark. They will love that you noticed. And this works in reverse. You can use this 30 minutes on something you would like them to be interested in and they may be Sparked.
  • If you have things to do and don’t we all put them on hold for 30 minutes and respond to the spark, even if it’s only a short conversation, reading a short book online, or asking them questions. Your child will be excited and much more engaged.
  • Most of all, remember that seeing Sparks is about seeing your children’s interests and needs. When you begin using these strategies you create magic and children learn to love learning.
  • Catching Sparks is usually easy, but responding to them is a skill we develop over time. So don’t become discouraged when you have a fail like I did with the elephants. Just keep practicing.

‘Light a spark and watch it burn!’

Are You Afraid Of Reading Hard Books?

Have you ever wondered how to read books that aren’t easy reads? This has been an issue for me. I LOVE reading but sometimes the classics are a challenge. History can be dry. Some books deal with tough topics. How do you manage those?

I just finished a book while at my daughter’s in Seattle, The Midnight Library. It’s a book I would recommend to others, but it wasn’t what I would call a ‘tough read.’ It was a thoughtful and enjoyable read. We all need those now and then but to learn and grow we occasionally need the tough read.

In May of 2023, I finished the book, Confucius – The Analects. Here is what I posted: “OK, this book was a tough read for me! I know exactly why I am not a philosophy major. I do not think deeply enough or abstractly enough. I had friends who read this and told me it was a must-read. So, I read it. Yes, the whole thing, but I confess, I didn’t get most of it.

I think it would have been helpful to me if I had read it in a class or with a book group so that I could hear what others were getting from its pages.

If you like deep thinking, if you like the past, if you like philosophy, then you will like this book. If you have read it I would LOVE it if you left a comment below and told me what you got from it. : ) Help me out. LOL”

The only response I got was from my cousin who said she would read it and get back to me. She hasn’t gotten back to me. : ) As I said, it is a tough read.

A few years ago, I was following a discussion online about the book The Chosen by Chaim Potok. I posted that I had read the book over 30 years ago and hadn’t liked it. I knew while I was reading the book wasn’t getting the full story. I had no one to talk to about it at the time. The online group gave me some great input. I still think about the book on occasion and wish that I had understood it better when I first read it.

In this same online reading group, the conversation turned to The Hunger Games. I hadn’t read the book. I recognized the title because I had seen a trailer for the movie. I decided from the trailer that I wouldn’t like this book. I decided that it wasn’t worth reading.

Then I talked to a friend, Olivia Votaw. She is a great storyteller herself and knows the value of a classic book, or those that are destined to become classics. I read Hunger Games on her advice and was appalled at the storyline, but with her help, I understood its value.

TALK ABOUT WHAT YOU ARE READING

When I read East of Eden, I didn’t like the book and knew I was not going to get past chapter three. There were so many allusions to torrid behavior and so much conflict in the lives of the main characters. I was reading it because my son-in-law said it was one of his favorite books. How in the world could that be!? I called him. He pointed out that it was the best book on choice he had ever read. I kept reading. I never adjusted to the nastiness of some of the characters and felt bugged by the conflicts; however, I was absolutely mesmerized by the truth of his words. It is a powerful statement on choice; that we all have choices and can wield them for good or bad no matter where we come from, what our parents were like, or our life circumstances. The illustration of Cain and Able in the book was so striking that I had to copy the whole thing because I knew I would want to refer to it in the future.

So here is a book that I would never have finished; but good feedback from a family member kept me at it and in the end, I felt it was worth reading. This book changed my perspective on choice.

That is the point I am making. Without feedback from others, to get a different perspective, books about controversial subjects, history, world events, etc., may be difficult to understand. But with help, they can be life-changing, as East of Eden was for me.

If you want to tackle more classics or some of today’s big sellers that will become classics, how can you get the most from the book?

TIPS FOR READING HARD BOOKS

1. Find a comfortable place to read. Settle in. This will be different for each person. For me, it is a page or two at a time in the bathroom. I know it doesn’t sound comfortable, but no one asks me for anything when I’m in there. You may have the luxury of a soft chair or your bed at night. : )

2. Look up unfamiliar words. This is a must, so you don’t get discouraged and quit. Use a phone app. Your youth can show you how. : )

3. Avoid skimming or speed reading. If a book is dense or dry or deals with a subject, I find difficult, well, this is an option I have chosen in the past. I must confess this is what I did in much of Confucius – The Analects. But when you skim, or speed read you miss key points that add to your comprehension.

4. If you own the book, underline passages that seem important. Make notes in the margin of things you don’t understand and then talk to someone else and get their thoughts. Try keeping notes. For some people, this helps them pay more attention to what they are reading. These strategies help you when talking with others about the book, as you can find them more easily to share.

5. If what you are reading is emotionally challenging, or the material feels overwhelming, take a break. Stop reading. Give your eyes and mind a rest. Then take some time to think about what you have read before you pick it up again. That might be a five-minute walk to the kitchen for a glass of water.

6. Don’t stop reading for too long. This is a MUST for me. If I go days in between reads I lose the story. I forget things that help me make sense of the book. I need to read daily, even if it’s only a couple of pages in the bathroom. I just finished reading a history book about the Panama Canal yesterday that had 617 pages. I read it a few pages at a time in the bathroom. It can be done. LOL (It was a bit dry but fascinating to me because I LOVE history.)

7. Share what you are reading. Read with a friend. Join or create a book group. Talk to a librarian. Chat with someone who has read the book. Join an online reading group. Often another perspective can help you get more from a book or keep you reading when you’re tempted to quit. If I hadn’t talked with Olivia, I never would have understood the value of The Hunger Games. If I hadn’t shared my reservations about East of Eden with my son-in-law, I would have missed a powerful novel about choice, because I would have stopped reading it. Share what you are reading. Talk about it. You can do the same for your children as they read hard books. 

When you can tackle hard books, then you can help your children and youth do the same. It is a skill worth learning and passing on.

Do You Have a ‘Family Thing’?

Every mother struggles to bring all that she has to the family table. We all want to teach our children to be kind, to have manners, to be honest, to do their chores, to share, and on and on. We also want to teach skills that can help them as adults. We desire to encourage them to develop talents for the joy of it. It can feel daunting.

But there is something else that many of us struggle with; we want to have meaningful ‘family learning’, where our families connect and where the connection we create is passed down. That can often seem even more challenging because of the time and effort it can take. This is not something that we can give to our children by our example or our way of being.

I am talking about what we do as a family that is uniquely our own, that is passed on because we did them together and they became part of us. Today we are going to tackle this sticky wicket and see how it can be done, even if you have felt that you are failing at this or if you don’t even get what I’m talking about. : )

THE MAGALEI FAMILY THING

I want to introduce you to my friend Quincy Magalei, a homeschooling mom. We met via the internet. Years ago, Quincey discovered my blog and then bought my book, Becoming a Present Parent. She signed up to receive my newsletter and followed me through the years, reading what I wrote.

Quincy has seven children. Last year she and her husband took over the care of two newborns with severe special needs. They require a vast amount of time and need willing hands and hearts to care for them. That is when I heard from Quincy in person. She knew it was going to be more than she could manage alone and felt she should set a few things in place so the chances of success would be greater.

Quincy knew she and her husband would be very short on sleep and time. The babies were needy and on oxygen. There were going to be lots of doctors’ appointments and therapy. How to do this and still homeschool? Quincy reached out to me for friendship, ideas, and a safe place to talk.

This last December, in one of our conversations, Quincy mentioned a concert that she and her children were giving in Heber City, Utah. That would be an eighty-minute drive from my home, into the mountains, and at night. : ) But there was no snow, which was unusual, so I decided to attend.

The concert was held at the Wasatch County Senior Center, which also houses the library. A perfect place. There was a good crowd on that night because of the lack of snow. : ) The concert was amazing. There was audience participation, amazing vocals, musical numbers, and good-hearted joking around. Quincy played the piano, as did some of the children. Her husband played guitar and ukulele. The children played guitars and violins. Her twelve-year-old son, Ezra, did some beatboxing and he was good! He began learning this skill at age nine. Asher, one of the 6-year-old twins sang with the Bigs because he loves singing. Ehli has a natural talent but is not yet as engaged. However, he participates because this is a family thing, it’s what they do!

I enjoyed myself thoroughly, as did my mom. I will attend other concerts they give because it was worth the drive. It was wonderful to observe a family doing their thing together. It was moving to see them connecting. It was hopeful to see what a father and mother can do together when they want to share something with their kids, despite the odds against it.

After the concert, I asked Quincy how in the world did her children learn to sing like this, play instruments, and perform together. I really wanted to know. I didn’t think I had done anything like this with my family. Why not? I could sing. My husband played an instrument. Did we fail?

She said the whole idea was born years ago because she wanted to give her children a chance to learn music and then provide a place for them to perform. But how? It was intimidating and would require time and effort. Then she saw another family singing together and was astonished. She had no idea that was even possible, all the littles to bigs, performing together. This pricked her heart and gave her hope and 20 years later her family is doing the same. It wasn’t easy. They were homeschooling seven children. Her husband worked. But the desire to do something as a family was strong, they loved music, and it helped them overcome the barriers.

When they lived in Oregon they performed in the homes of widowers/widows and for older couples they knew from church. When they moved to Utah, they continued the tradition. Then they were asked to sing at the senior center. Quincey began setting up concerts. They honed their gifts, talents, and skills as a family, over time. I want to tell you they are GOOD and sang one song that was so challenging I couldn’t believe they were doing it!

Quincy said that this concert, where all her family was together, was the highlight of her life and worth the time and effort. She told me she was proud of what they had accomplished as a family. I loved these words from her – “It demonstrates the synergy of working with God and trusting yourself; then watching the results while being sustained by grace in every moment.”

Despite the uphill battle and the addition of two special needs babies as they began working on last year’s concert, she said her efforts were magnified in a way she had hoped and prayed for. As she said, “God makes us more than we are alone and fills our hearts and souls in the process.”

But what about me and the fact that I didn’t teach my children to sing or play instruments when Don and I could have? I was a self-taught professional cake decorator too. I made fabulous wedding cakes which were my specialty. But I never taught my kids. Two of my daughters went on to teach themselves and I am proud of them. I was also a terrific seamstress, but I only taught my last two children to sew. Hmmm, did I fail my family? This is a question I have heard other women ask themselves when they see what other families have accomplished. This is a question we each need to examine.

OUR FAMILY THING

Every Sunday for many years, after church, I would take my children to the care center to visit the elderly. They would read to the people, tell jokes, and visit. I took them to the homes of older people and visited. We served in this way as a family often. Today, none of my children are put off by where people are at, special needs, elderly, ill, homeless. They can talk to anyone, and they do. They have hearts that are tuned to those in need.

That is why my son, Seth, is one of my granddaughter Maggie’s, favorite people. Maggie has severe cerebral palsy. She can’t walk or speak. But Seth knows how to talk to someone who can’t talk back. He isn’t the least put off by her situation. He knows that every person wants to laugh and be seen. In fact, every member of our family, even those who have come in by marriage, knows how to spend time with Maggie.

My daughter Jenny, despite a brain injury, has a master’s degree in communication science and disorders. She works with the elderly helping those with communication impairments, swallow deficits, and cognition. She has told me that her experiences at home moved her in this direction after her accident.

My daughter Jodie regularly takes her children to help the homeless. They pass out cocoa and cookies. They smile. They shake hands. They listen.

All my children serve the underprivileged, the needy, the elderly, and the ill. It was a family thing, and I didn’t even realize it at the time. It was the connecting family activity that left home with our children and is being passed down.

OTHER FAMILIES AND THEIR THINGS

Let me tell you about another mom that I just met a couple of months ago, Emily. She cuts my hair in her home studio. At one appointment the Magalei family came up in our conversation and Emily lamented that she wished she had time to do something like that for her kids. She is a very good seamstress and felt like a bit of a failure because she hasn’t made time to teach this skill to her children. : ) Then our conversation moved on.

I discovered that this family hikes. She said that even her three-year-old is a great hiker. They have hiked in many places. They do it whenever they want to be together as a family. They all love it. She and her husband have taught their kids how to enjoy the outdoors and be safe. I told her that this is a legacy as powerful as what Quincy has given her children or what I gave to mine. It just happens on different stages. Quincy’s family is on a stage in a community center. Emilie’s is on the side of a mountain, and for my family, it is in the halls of the ill and afflicted.

Another mother I know has a son who was obsessed with rocks. It became their family thing. They went to digs and planed vacations around where rocks could be found. They collected, sorted, and displayed them. They spent time in mineral and geology museums. They had constant family conversations on the subject. This is what they did as a family.

Another family I know skies together. They spend whatever time they can every winter skiing. And when possible, do it on the water in the summer. This is their family thing.

I didn’t realize what our family thing was at the time. It would have been helpful to me to have figured that out. I would have been more confident in the job I was doing. It was helpful to my hairdresser, Emily, when she realized that they did have something that was a family thing.

So, I am asking you. What do you do to connect as a family? It is there if you look at where you spend your time together. Is it something that bonds and connects you as a family? If not, then what would accomplish that? As you can see it doesn’t need to be 20 years of teaching your kids to sing and play on stage. So don’t be intimidated. That was Quincy’s dream. Mine was more modest, but in the end, just as meaningful.

What matters is that we have something we do regularly as a family that we all enjoy, that bonds us and helps us connect. Bowling. Skating. Sewing. Baking. Hiking. Reading together. Fishing. Hunting. Serving at nursing homes. Science. What is your family thing? Begin observing your family and your regular activities. What do you do to connect?

When you can see it, you will be comforted, that yes, you have a family thing, and it matters. You’re doing good!

Harness the Power of Focus

I have a friend that I admire very much, Alysia Humphries. What got me thinking about her this last couple of weeks was that tonight (Saturday) I am going to a special event for caregivers. She and a handful of other women are giving some nurturing to caregivers. I fit into that group and so Alysia asked me to come. I am going to have some foot zoning done and Alysia is giving me some light therapy. Restful!

That got me thinking about Alysia and a letter she sent to me after an event I participated in over a dozen years ago to help mothers learn to be present. Today Alysia kids are twelve years older, but being a present parent doesn’t change even when your kids are adults. I thought you would enjoy her letter and the tips that she came up with for herself to manage better. Enjoy Alysia’s experience and I will enjoy my light therapy. : )

The Power of Focus or Being Present by Alysia Humphries

“Recently at our Mama Mastermind, I got to learn from an amazing Mom and Grandma, Mary Ann Johnson, about the power of Being Present ie. the power of focus. She gave us a challenge that has been, well, challenging for me. It is a simple one, and I really needed it, but it has been harder so far than I expected. Here’s what it is. You’ll laugh, it sounds so easy.

‘Commit to Be Present with one person each day for 3 minutes. Totally focused on them, no multitasking, thinking about other things, no other agenda, no looking into the future, just looking into their eyes, listening to them, and letting them know you value what they feel, say, and who they are by the way you are with them. 3 minutes.

Anyone can do that for 3 minutes, right?

‘Well, it turns out it’s not so easy for me. I have gotten really good at doing 3 or 4 things at once, which has served me well in some ways, but it often means I am missing things that matter the most, opportunities to connect and teach and understand my kids better, and powerful moments together. Nursing a baby, while typing an email, while half listening to a child’s request, or trying to mediate a quarrel from the kitchen while washing the dishes and thinking about what I am making for dinner all at the same time, have become a normal way of life for me. And it doesn’t only zap my energy, it zaps my power to touch my children and be touched by them. Yes, I really needed this exercise. I want to learn to harness the power of focusing!

‘It’s only been a day and a half, and here’s what I have noticed so far.

1. Old habits are hard to break, so I really have to concentrate on being Present! I guess there is a reason why Mary Ann started with such a short period of time. Baby steps.

2. It really helps to physically remove myself from my distractions. If I am reading something and I want to be present when my child wants to tell me all about their latest Lego creation, I need to physically remove myself from what I was reading, get up and go see what they are talking about, or go sit down with them on my lap and turn my whole self toward them. Otherwise, it is too easy to sneak a peek at what I was looking at before and get distracted again.

3. Three minutes really can pay big dividends! I have had better conversations with my kids in the past few days than I have had in a long time, and I learned a lot about them! Sometimes it only takes one minute, to have a moment that is meaningful together, that satisfies a need and makes them feel loved, and they go skipping away happily like I just gave them the world. It really doesn’t take a lot of time; I just have to be willing and not put it off. There is power in focusing!

4. I enjoy my kids more when I am present with them. Making time with them my purpose rather than a distraction means I get more satisfaction out of spending time with them. And they do, too.

5. I DO have time to be present! I don’t have to rush around getting tons of things done at once. And it’s something I can’t afford to miss! It’s funny (and sad) how it’s the things that you can’t get back, like making memories with your kids, that seem like the easiest thing to put off in favor of things that will always be there, like dishes and phone calls and errands. That exact moment might not ever come back no matter how much you try to recreate it when it fits in the schedule. Taking 3 minutes to stop, turn, and take in your child completely means capturing something irreplaceable. I need to remember that when I’m tempted to put the kids off.

‘I’m very grateful for this exercise and I think it will carry over to other areas of life as well, being present with my husband, being present with God when I am talking to Him, and being more open to the people around me and the beauty that is everywhere.

‘Being Present helps us be more Joyful. It helps us see more. It helps us be more effective in the things we do. It might seem like slowing down means accomplishing less, but I think by being present I will actually accomplish more of the things that matter the most.”

Empowering Action:

Take the 3-minute challenge. Give each child 3 minutes of your focused presence this week and see what a difference it makes.

Some things NEVER change! Kids or adults, just 3-minutes this week, for each one! Let me know how it goes.

HELP! I Need Activities for Small Children

I enjoyed the time I taught and mentored mothers and fathers. I was able to share stories, experiences, and resources. I met many parents who wanted to create strong family cultures and tight relationships with their children. The years that I did this work were sincerely fulfilling.

I recall getting an email from a very harried mom with a three-year-old. I laugh about it still because I can relate!

“YIKES!! My three-year-old wants me to help him with everything!! I need some activities and games for small children!”

Not long after, I got an email from a mom who was homeschooling. She loved working with her eight-year-old, but she had two littles who made it difficult to give her older son the attention she wanted to. She needed some diversions for those little ones. She planned for all of them to be in the same room, but she needed her littles to be able to play happily without her help for short periods.

Small children want their mom or dad to be with them. It’s all about “being present” and frankly, their little hands need more help figuring things out so they can keep going. So, what’s a mother to do when she needs to help an older child or wants to keep a little one entertained while she does dishes, folds laundry, or works from home? And then there are times a mother wants to do some learning or reading of her own. We are so good at multitasking that if we can keep the littles happy at our feet, we can do some of our own work and study.

At that time, I put the question to my readers and was amazed at the wonderful answers they gave. If you have littles and need them to learn or play on their own for bites of time, give some of these ideas a try. Most of them came from moms who have mixed ages in their homes, some school at home, and some work from home. They are tried and true. : )

Activities and Games for Small Children

  • Building blocks activity – my kids LOVED magnetic blocks and my grands still do. Any type of blocks will work.
  • Lego’s. “Throw a sheet on the floor and dump the whole caboodle in the middle. They can swim in them if they want to so long as they keep them on the sheet. When it’s time to clean up, fold the four corners together and dump the lot back into the container.”
  • A marble shoot game…”Use tubes that create a tall tower. They drop the marble at the top and watch it go through the tubes down to the bottom.” (Make sure your child has reached the age where they won’t put the marbles in their mouths. : ) You could have an older child create one for the littles. Here is one created by a mom in minutes. If you don’t mind a bit of noise this is fun. You would have to make it lower on a wall and wouldn’t need as many parts.
  • Play-Doh activity – Provide an old rolling pin and have them play on the floor with a variety of cookie cutters.
  • Geo-trax. There are so many different versions of this. If you have one, use it.
  • Try a shoe box for each day of the week. “In each box, there are a variety of toys to play with that day. When you are done, close the box…next day is a new box with new things to discover. (It could be anything…not just toys, but nesting Tupperware, spoons, rocks…anything new can be exciting.)”
  • A pile of stacking cups and a pile of math manipulatives “(1×1 inch tiles in the same colors as the stacking cups) make a great learning activity for young children. This worked for my two-year-old as long as she could sit in the middle of the kitchen table with them. She did it every single day the whole school year pouring, sorting, and making piles of those little tiles.”
  • Mr. Potato Head game.
  • Lacing cards.
  • Large beads to string.
  • Painting! “Before you run screaming, let me tell you they can paint quite happily with water. If you give your little ones some colored construction paper, a big paintbrush, and a small cup of water, they can “paint” to their hearts’ content. If they spill anything, it’s just water. Put them on the table with a vinyl cover and put a towel over that.”
  • Pegboard and big plastic pegs.
  • Buy a package of paper cups and let your children play with them. They can nest them, stack them, build with them, etc. If they get mashed, no loss. In fact, if you’re like me, you might want to take a few at the end of playtime, place them upside down along the floor, and then jump on them. Kids LOVE this. It is the reward for playing quietly for a while, alone.
  • Nesting cups.
  • An indoor sandbox? “When my children were small, we had one of those turtle sandboxes, with the cover, in the house. We put some plain white rice in it, and some appropriate toys: scoops, shovels, containers, etc. They LOVED it! If you don’t want an entire sandbox, you can fill a smaller container with rice, and let them play in that. Place it on a sheet for easier clean up.”
  • “If you have time to make some materials, you can make fun matching games from posters. Dollar stores often have education posters. Buy two posters, cut up one of them, attach Velcro to the back of the pieces, attach the other part of the Velcro to corresponding areas on the intact poster, and voilà! You have a lovely matching activity for them. Do this with colors, shapes, numbers, letters, or anything that lends itself to matching. Hang the posters on the wall. This is a great learning activity for young children.”
  • Board books. You can find books that have textures, which are nice for the little ones. You don’t have to buy them new.
  • A small folding dryer rack, some washcloths, and a few clothespins.
  • A little spray bottle of water, a sponge, and a table they can “clean.”
  • Plastic rubbing plates, plain paper, and crayons.
  • Plastic food is always a hit, especially if you also have plastic plates upon which to serve it.
  • Stuffed animals and some blankets or baby clothes.
  • A magnetic dry-erase board and a fun set of magnets.
  • “If you have room- a train table with bins underneath is great because they can do so much on top of it, and everything stores beneath it.”
  • Audiobooks – When they were small some of my grands loved this activity.
  • Simple art supplies: crayons, paper, pencils, clay, etc.
  • “Deliberately leave things undone–kids at that age love to help with the right encouragement. Whenever you notice that attention fading, send your little one to go ‘do something’. Leave your shoes in a silly place for example. If approached with the right cheerfulness, a 4-year-old will certainly hunt for 30 min. or more for Mother’s sweater, not just because she’s cold but because it is so funny to discover silly mom left it in the soup pot again!”
  • Make a game of chores: “Folding laundry is one–sure you may have to re-fold it, but it does work. Feeding pets, setting the dinner table (does it matter if you won’t eat for a few hours?), cleaning baseboards (because no one really cares what they look like), making lunch or a snack–a 4-year-old is quite a gracious host if given the responsibility. They can do all kinds of things with fruit and veggies and dip and even make sandwiches.”
  • “Montessori websites have great suggestions for toys, games, and learning activities for young children. The best book on making your own Montessori materials is Teaching Montessori in the Home: The Pre-School Years by Elizabeth Hainstock.”
  • Find a workbook for preschoolers.
  • Cutting, pasting, and tracing.
  • Mini trampoline.
  • Plastic balls in a big pot. You can go cheap and fill up a kiddie pool with them if there is space.
  • Make a fort with sheets or blankets.
  • You may not believe it, but some little children love to sort socks.
  • Big cardboard boxes will keep any young child busy for hours. I used this and they played for hours. They really liked decorating them with crayons.

How do you keep your “littles” occupied and happy? Got a GREAT idea.

Share in the comments.

I No Longer Have a Bucket List or Is Parenting the End of My Dreams!

Do you have cherished dreams? Is there a goal you want as much as breathing? Do you worry that because you chose to be a parent they may never come to pass?

I can relate. I raised seven children. I was busy and overwhelmed lots of the time. I had goals and dreams and there were times I felt they could come to pass. Then, just when I felt I was moving towards them, I would be called home physically or emotionally and the dream would be on hold again.

Today, I want to encourage you and give you heart, so will hold on to your dreams while you do this most important calling, raising your family. I have often said, “You can’t know until you get there.” I have gotten to a new place and in time, I believe you will get there too.

As a child and youth, I had a marvelous bucket list of things I wanted to see, do, and become in my life. Some were BIG dreams. Others were dreams that weren’t as out front, but dreams, nonetheless.

I Want to Be a Speaker!

When I was five years old, I wanted to be a speaker. I know that’s young, but I had spoken a couple of times in my church’s children’s group, and I LOVED it. I was not afraid of getting up in front of people. It was thrilling to share something that I knew to be true, even when I was five.

When I was deeply into parenting in Montana, I attended a women’s conference with my sisters in Utah, at Brigham Young University. As I sat listening to the keynote speaker, I had a thought which took me off guard. “You will speak like this someday.” I replied in my mind, “That’s never going to happen.” After all, I had seven kids, and some were struggling. I had already had to quit speaking for schools and community organizations to manage the chaos at home.

In 2009 I began sharing family connection information with parents. For the next ten years, I traveled the United States speaking and teaching. When I began, I was fifty-nine years old, and our youngest child was 19 and just leaving home.

I Want to Write and Publish a Book!

When I was eight, I discovered the Oz books. Did you know there are fourteen, full-length Oz books? While visiting my grandma and grandpa Cazier, I discovered them in the library. I spent hours sitting quietly on the library floor reading.

It was then I decided I wanted to write a book. I began that summer. I got a notebook and hand-wrote the first few pages of my own novel. My grandma Gardner was a teacher and when our family visited her home in Logan, Utah, she would throw open her ‘paper’ cupboard and we could pick anything we wanted. I always chose a fresh, clean notebook and a new pencil and would begin another story.

In 2016 I did write a book. It took six days a week, at 4 am, for six months. It was published by Cedar Fort Publishing in 2017. It wasn’t what I thought I would write. It wasn’t a novel, but it was a story about my experience parenting, what I had learned, and excellent counsel to help others avoid some of the mistakes Don and I had made. I was sixty-seven.

I Want to Make a Recording

My mother could have sung in an opera. She had an exquisite voice and even tried out for the Lawrence Welk Show. I heard her singing while she hung laundry for her family of eleven. She sang as she cooked and cleaned. I loved her voice. I knew I didn’t have a voice like my mom’s, but I wanted to sing.

I took every opportunity that came my way. I sang in front of the whole school in 7th and 8th grades. I was brave because I LOVED singing.

When my mother was 74 her voice began to change. I asked my sister to take her to a studio and have a CD made. Evette got it done. I was 54 years old, and it was then I decided that I would make a recording of my singing someday.

It was just a wish until twelve years ago when I put a picture of a CD on my wall with my face in the center. There it hung for years. At one point, in 2022, as my efforts to find a studio and a pianist began to fall apart, I felt it would NEVER happen.

My voice, like my mother’s was changing. I was out of time, but I decided to give it one more year! I so wanted to see it happen. Last year, on Dec. 31, 2023, I finished the recording and had my own channel. That felt heady. : ) I was forty days shy of my seventy-fourth birthday.

In March of 2022, I wrote an article naming many other buckets list dreams I had knowingly and unknowingly accomplished. It was delightful to realize that because I had held on to my dreams they had come to pass, more than I consciously knew. Some came to fruition in completely different ways than I had envisioned.

In the first week of January, this year, I revisited my 3-5 year goals. I felt my bucket list was done. I had some financial goals, but they weren’t true, ‘all my life’ bucket list things. I was still working on two ways of being that matter a great deal to me, but I will be working on charity and making time, my friend for the rest of my life. LOL My bucket seemed empty.

I was happy to focus on those few financial goals because they will matter in the coming years. However, I felt a tad disappointed that I didn’t have anything exciting to work for.

One evening, not long after I wrote the article about this year’s goalsI was pondering as I sat at my desk. I often pray to God while doing mundane stuff. I don’t kneel, I just begin conversing.

This was one of those times and I was thanking Him for helping me accomplish the recording, a thing in 2022 I felt couldn’t be done. I mentioned that I had done everything I had wanted to do except to continue to work on a more charitable nature and have time be my friend.

During that prayerful conversation, I had a thought and as happened at the Women’s Conference, it brought me up short. I began to laugh. Here is it. “Well, Mary you haven’t become a dancer yet. You still can’t play the piano. And didn’t you want to learn to speak Spanish? What about painting?”

I laughed because these all have been dearly-held dreams, they just never made it to the front of the list! Because of the intervening years, they had taken a back seat in my consciousness.

I Want to Play the Piano!

I took a few piano lessons while raising my children, but I never got far because one of the kids would want lessons and our income in Montana was small.

In my late sixties, I bought a keyboard so I could take piano lessons. But I was deeply into speaking, teaching, and business building at that time. I let the dream go and when we joined our home with Jodie’s, the keyboard didn’t come with us.

I Want to Dance!

I wanted to be a dancer my whole life! I still have a few books about dancers in my library that I have had since I was under ten. In my younger days, I was able to take a few ballet lessons. But with nine kids in my family, they were short-lived.

When we moved to our current home six years ago, I searched for a jazz dance teacher who took older students. I didn’t find one, so I stopped thinking about it. After all, I was caregiving three people and when would I do it anyway?

I want to Paint Beautiful Landscapes

I thought often about being a painter. I knew in my heart I could do it if I could just take lessons. At one point I took a community class, but my children kept touching the canvas and then wiping the evidence on the wall. I let it go.

In the later years of parenting, I took a short trip and sat at the side of a lake and painted the lupine. Later, while caring for my daughter who was in a car accident, I took her to a painting class and did a piece that hangs on my wall today.

I Want to Speak Spanish Fluently!

Speaking Spanish is like my recording. I have wanted to speak Spanish for decades, but I felt the time was past. To learn another language, you must be able to remember things, and my detail memory is compromised. But I know that I wouldn’t have been reminded about my love for Spanish if there wasn’t a way. It makes me smile thinking about it.

I still have those financial goals, but now I have put some long-held dreams back in the bucket. I need to put them on my vision board and then I need to ponder how they could come to pass despite age or difficulty. Just this last year I saw a dream that didn’t seem possible at my age come to pass. : )

Here is My Message

Parenting doesn’t need to end your dreams. There will be time and opportunity. Focus on your family. If small steps can be taken, take them. Practice when you can and then patiently wait. Space for you will open. It will.

I was over fifty before many of my fondest hopes came into being. Like many of you, I felt I had exchanged my dreams for a family. But as you can see it was only a story and not a true one.

And when I thought I had done all there was to do, all I had ever dreamed about, I was reminded that I still have dreams. I am still here and I can accomplish more, if I choose.

I gave parenting my all, as imperfect as it was. I took my role as a mother very seriously. I gave up opportunities. I, like you felt that most, if not all, of my dreams would never come to pass because time was moving so quickly.

I had goals that came to pass while I was mothering. But most of my bucket list dreams came to fruition after my children were grown.

Never give up on your hopes and dreams. You may not know how to bring them to pass, or when it can be done, but hold them close and trust that you will see miracles happen.

I know this is true because I got there!

Simple Techniques for Stress-Free Single Parenting

Photo via Pexels

Life as a single parent is a challenging journey, but it can also be filled with growth, resilience, and moments of joy. I have a daughter navigating this path, and it can be both painful and joyous watching her and her children as they move through this new territory. To manage well requires a blend of practical strategies and emotional fortitude.

Understanding how to manage as a single parent, either a mom or dad, requires support and resources. In April of 2023, I posted an article by a fellow writer, Laura Pearson, filled with resources to assist parents returning to school. Today I am sharing another of her articles with resources for single parents. If you are a single parent this will probably not be new information for you, but I hope the included links will be useful in helping you move forward in investigating these and other resources that may be just what you need.

Simple Techniques for Stress-Free Single Parenting by Laura Pearson

Set Aside Time for Self-Care
In the whirlwind of single parenthood, it’s easy to overlook your own well-being. However, taking care of yourself is paramount. Carve out moments for self-care activities that rejuvenate you physically, mentally, and emotionally. Whether it’s a brief yoga session, a soothing bath, or even a quiet moment with a book, these small breaks will help you stay grounded and resilient.

Building a Support Circle
You don’t have to navigate this journey alone. Reach out to your family, friends, and other single parents for support; you can also look for resources online. Building a strong support circle not only provides practical assistance but also offers emotional solace. It’s a reminder that you’re not alone in this adventure.

Involving Kids in Household Chores
Teaching responsibility from a young age can benefit both you and your children. Assign age-appropriate chores to your kids and make household tasks a family affair. Turn cleaning, decluttering, and organizing into a game guess how quickly you can finish! Involving your children not only lightens your load but also fosters teamwork and responsibility.

Establishing Consistency with Rules and Routines
Children thrive on routine and structure. Establishing consistent rules, schedules, and routines helps organize your day and provides your children with a sense of security. Predictability eases the challenges of single parenthood and fosters a harmonious household.</strong

Open Communication with Your Children
Maintaining open lines of communication with your children is a crucial aspect of single parenting. It’s important to encourage them to share their thoughts and feelings openly. This safe and open dialogue helps foster a deep sense of trust and understanding between you and your children. Ultimately, this approach makes navigating the complexities and challenges of single parenthood a more unified and manageable experience.

Financial Planning and Budgeting
Single parenthood frequently involves navigating financial constraints. To address this, creating a budget, meticulously managing expenses, and planning ahead are essential steps. Practicing financial savvy not only secures your family’s stability but also serves as an excellent role model for your children. These actions demonstrate the importance of financial responsibility and forward-thinking in ensuring a secure future.

Utilizing Community Resources
Don’t hesitate to tap into the resources available in your community. Seek counseling services for emotional support, join support groups for shared experiences, explore childcare services for convenience, and explore financial aid programs designed to assist single parents. Your community can be a valuable ally in this journey.

Pursuing an Online Degree for Career Advancement
Investing in your education can significantly improve your career prospects and income; you may consider this option by enrolling in an online degree program. The flexibility of online education, with its adaptable schedules and remote learning options, allows for a balance between your parenting responsibilities and your educational ambitions. This path not only enhances your qualifications but also opens doors to diverse nursing careers in education, informatics, administration, and advanced practice.

Life as a single parent may have its share of hurdles, but with these strategies in your toolkit, you can transform it into a fulfilling and successful journey. Remember, you are stronger and more resilient than you might realize, and your dedication to both your growth and your children’s well-being will lead to a brighter future for your family. Embrace the support around you, invest in your education and self-care, and maintain open communication.

You’ve got this.

Are You Prepared for the New Year? I am NOT talking New Years Resolutions!

I no longer make New Year’s Resolutions. Instead, I have a few useful tools I use.

For a few months, I have been contemplating the new year. I asked myself questions and then thoughtfully answered them. What has worked and what hasn’t? Where have I made progress, and where have I lagged? I looked over my daily commitments from 2016 to 2023. (Some people call them affirmations or declarations.) I don’t change them every year. In fact, I used the same ones from 2016 to 2019. Then I adjusted them for 2020 to 2022. Last year I had new things I wanted to keep in my head daily. For 2024 I rewrote them. I needed more brevity and greater impact.

My commitments and goals have been a work in progress since the last week of December 2023. I have read them every day and made any adjustments that came into my mind. As I worked on this article, I made three final adjustments.

I also asked this question – What do I want to see happen in the next three years? I felt this was vital because I had accomplished some big things in the last ten-plus years. This year, I finished a major dream and milestone that I will share in an upcoming article. But I had no new goals, no big dreams, no impossible things to bring to pass. I need that in my life!

After some prayer and thought I came up with three items. They aren’t earthshaking but as I accomplish them I am going to feel like a big deal. : ) I know it’s important to have something to work for, to care about, something that will stretch you. My goals all have to do with money. Now feels like the time to focus more on this part of my life. I am not seeking a six-figure income or anything grand. I am reaching out for what I know fits the season I am in and will bless me and my family. I have had to work diligently on my money stories for a few decades. I have made significant progress, so I am excited about these goals.

My new goals aren’t as exciting as some of my past goals – writing and publishing a book, becoming a well-known teacher and speaker, creating a musical recording, and finishing my audiobook. As of December 30th, 2023, I have accomplished three of these things, and the audiobook is well on its way. But these new goals fit the season I find myself in now. That was a wise move on my part. : )

Another thing I began doing, just two years ago, was choosing a word for the year, a word that I could bring to my mind anytime, anywhere, and remind myself of what direction I was going. Last year my word was LOVE. This year my word is FINANCIALLY INDEPENDANT. I know that’s two words but it is one thought. LOL Wealth is not my goal. Independence with money is.

My friend, Heid Totten’s word for last year was wealth and she increased her income by 50%. This year her word is “rest” so she will intentionally create experiences that provide that. Truly, manifesting matters!

I recommend these practices to you.

-Do you have affirmations/commitments that you repeat out loud daily? Maybe it would help you make progress if you did.
-Do you know what you want to see happen in your life in the next 3-5 years? It would be useful if you had a direction you were going. if you could have one or two wonderful things happen or accomplish in the next three years, what would they be? You can’t hit a bull’s eye if you have no target.
-What word fits your great desire for this coming year?

It isn’t useful to copy what someone else is doing. It is vital that you put in the thought time to determine your own needs, your own path, and your own goals. But it’s often helpful to have a starting point. I thought that sharing my 2024 affirmations/commitments and goals with you might get your thoughts moving and your heart ready to write your own.

I shared a quote last week that I have on my wall. It’s next to my side of the bed and I read it often. I have experienced its truth.

“Create a vision, present it to the Lord, tell Him this is what you would love, and then ask Him to help you identify your next ‘right’ step. You don’t even have to be totally confident that He is guiding you. If you do this exercise, then I assure you, as you give it your best shot to move forward with the next ‘right’ step, He is.”

The commitments I say every day are visions of what I would love. My three year goals are visions of what I would love. My word for the year is a condensed form of what I would love. I know that as I present them to myself every day and to the Lord, he will lead me step by step to their accomplishment.

Take the time to identify what you would love to have or be, and then present it to the Lord. Move Forward!

 

P.S. You will not believe what happened tonight. It is Friday and I have been busily working to get this article finished. I took a short break and checked my messages. There was one from my friend, Mary Black. She is part of a financial firm and she and one of her partners have decided, because of the need they have seen, to do a workshop on Financial Awareness for Women. She invited me to attend. WHAT! Didn’t I just share that my 3-year goals were all about money? I have prayed about them and have been manifesting them for a couple of weeks and the next right step has shown up. This is how it works and it is wonderful!

P.S.S You can find my goals, commitments, and word for the year HERE.